I have been lurking on your boards for several days now trying to decide if this is the place for me, it appears that it is. I lost my husband on December 29th. We had just come off a cruise vacation to celebrate his 50th birthday, we were at the airport trying to rent a car for the day, and he died of a heart attack. It was sudden, he had no symptoms, no complaints on or before the trip and generally he was healthy. The events of that day and practically all since are a blur. My life as I know it is over. He was the glue that kept me together. I have been fortunate with family being available to help, but that luxury is drying up soon and I think I need a safe place to scream, cry, yell, whine, maybe laugh, and try to gain some perspective, learn about the process, and most likely complain a bit too. I am having bad days, worse days, and catastrophic days. Yesterday was catastrophic, I cried all day. Today is just bad meaning I got through the day without a major breakdown. I don't know what makes one day different from the last, but I know I have to figure out how to navigate this life without him, and that is going to be very hard. Maybe this will help. Dawn