Haven't been on for a little while......I did start having a hospice counselor come to talk to me, I just didn't feel ready for a support group... She has helped me a lot....that and reading all these postings. Guess I am not alone in what I feel....lonely, helpless, useless.... I have started seeing some friends again. It is hardest when I have to see couples that we enjoyed....but the second time seeing them was better and I didn't bawl all night. I am slightly handicapped and I guess I just feel so lost as my husband did sooo much for me. But I actually went shopping today and I DID it!!....It felt good...so maybe there is hope for me yet. It has been a month and a half now, some days it is a bit better, others it is worse...but reading all of the bulletins, I find this is normal too....so I have hope that things will get better...someday.... Thanks for listening....