Thanks for responding.I fully understand about the hard struggle of caring for parents, My Mom was not able to care for herself for a number of years, My sisters and I tried to care for her, we didn't want to put her in a nursing home, she begged to go, since she thought she was a burden to all of us.. it was hard, but we loved our Mom and wanted to care for her as much as we could. She was also bi-polar ( a chemical imbalance for years) so we had our hands full.. My stepfaher is not in good health either,but I haven't done alot for him, since Mom needed our help so much!! Just the way she died and the suffering is so much to bear and think about. but I am so happy she isn't suffering and trying to breathe all time..It is hard to watch a loved one suffer.. I am use to death, my Mother-inlaw died in 1998 from a car accident, and my Father-inlaw died in 2001 from lung cancer, not counting all the deaths of my Mom's sisters and brothers and a few cousins and friends..We all know death comes to all of us someday, I also lost a great friend when my husbands Granny died in 1997..My grandparents have been dead along time.. But Mom and my sisters were close and we alwys shared everything basically and I will miss her sooo much, I have 2 sisters and brother.. (also I have two beautiful daughters and a grandbaby who is almost 2 years old.)Thank God for them and for my wonderful husband also.. God will see me though this, but it will be so hard. I can't face going though Mom's things yet, too soon!!! God be with you though your suffering and loss also.. I still think about my inlaws all time, especially holidays are bad..please continue to respond it helps, I just turned 56 Monday Feb 4th. hoping we can continue to share our pain and hardships.. God Bless You! Kathy AnnieO Thanks for your response.. I am sorry for your loss also. the main thing to think about is they are not suffering anymore and with their loved ones who have gone before them. God has them in his arms now and can do a better job of caring for them.. I KNOW GOD KNEW WE COULDN'T NO LONGER CARE FOR MOM AND HE TOOK HER HOME SO SHE WOULD NOT SUFFER ANYMORE AND BE IN HIS CARE. BUT GOD KNOWS ALSO THAT WE WILL MISS HER SO MUCH, AND ONE DAY WE WILL MEET AGAIN!! POSTING HELPS AND SHARING THE GRIEF AND PAIN. Kathy Elizabeth A. Thanks for responding... yes Mom went home, but at the time I didn't know if she mean't she wanted to go home, or go home to the Lord. I know she is with the Lord now and out of her suffering...I will miss her soo much..the birthdays will always be hard, since we shared our birthdays together..Mom looked at peace after she died and was beautiful and even looked younger.. I feel like she was finally at rest and not struggling and worrying about things anymore. that really helps...but the pain of losing Mom is so hard and I will carry her memory and our memories for the rest of my life. I grew up with people thinking we were sisters, since Mom was only 17 years older then me..we acted like kids alot together and shared alot.Just keep me in your prayers and my family also. Kathy Drew Thanks for your response..yes it was soo hard to see Mom suffer and die,but I know others have to deal with this also. but when it comes to your own Mom and someone close to you, it can about kill you.. But GOD has brought me though so far..Mom wanted me to arrange her funeral. I had my sister to help me, that was hard, but I did it and I think I did a great service for my Mom, since her funeral was so nice.( if funerals are nice) as the Good Book says we are suppose to rejoice when someone dies and cry when they are born..but we don't do this. It is so painful and hurting to be happy....hope to hear from you again, I will keep you in my prayers and thoughts..God Bless You! Kathy