Thank you Cindi, Shell & Rosanne and I’m so sorry for all your losses. Your words are all very soothing for me and yes you are right I have found much comfort on this board even before I managed to register. Just reading through and recognizing myself with many…. I am totally surprised at how many people are not at all by my side since the death of my granny. In the beginning people were calling, writing, sending flowers now it’s all quiet and I feel even more alone because of that. Not to mention angry. Me and my family (mum,dad and brothers) are not close so theres no support there either… Life feels even more lonely because of that. I’m scared of the future without granny….me all alone without family. I have my boyfriend but I mean a caring mum and dad. It’s just simply hard and sad to know that I don’t have anyone left whom I love so dearly… I hope I manage ok even though I'm alone in this... I am trying my best to take it one day at a time even though I’m the kind of person who wants it all to be over now. I’ve spent such a big part of my life depressed and angry I just want to feel happy again….patience is even more difficult because of that… I feel my feelings are like a rollercoaster one minute I feel a bit of happiness and the next so sad...then 5 minutes later a little happy and maybe the rest of the day sad....it's sooo unpredictable...worst is when the tears just come rushing down without warning at work. I that usually can control such things very well..