GrammyBear

My husband, soulmate, love of my life, died on September 14 of this year. He struggled with cancer for a year and a half. He was only 44 when he was diagnosed and begged me to keep him home. And I did. I sat by his side when he had every chemo and drove him to every radiation. I pushed his wheelchair, changed his bed, wiped his tears and made him laugh. He had a crush on me when he was 11 years old. I was 13 and a woman of the world, but he was so cute and forward with his devotion that I gave him his first kiss (on the forehead). His devotion died when he did. On September 14 of this year, I held his hand, kept him warm, wiped his mouth and gave him his last kiss (on the forehead). Now I am lost. To have had such a fan and friend for 25 years was so very lucky. But who am I now? Where do I begin. His heart was my home, and now I feel homeless. We have 4 grown children who are devastated but trying to help all that they can. We have 12 grandchildren whom he cherished. I made it through the first months. I lived through the first Thanksgiving without him, and my first birthday without him. Now is his favorite time. My heart is crushed and I am lost. I just turned 48. Where do I begin again?

My husband, soulmate, love of my life, died on September 14 of this year. He struggled with cancer for a year and a half. He was only 44 when he was diagnosed and begged me to keep him home. And I did. I sat by his side when he had every chemo and drove him to every radiation. I pushed his wheelchair, changed his bed, wiped his tears and made him laugh. He had a crush on me when he was 11 years old. I was 13 and a woman of the world, but he was so cute and forward with his devotion that I gave him his first kiss (on the forehead). His devotion died when he did. On September 14 of this year, I held his hand, kept him warm, wiped his mouth and gave him his last kiss (on the forehead). Now I am lost. To have had such a fan and friend for 25 years was so very lucky. But who am I now? Where do I begin. His heart was my home, and now I feel homeless. We have 4 grown children who are devastated but trying to help all that they can. We have 12 grandchildren whom he cherished. I made it through the first months. I lived through the first Thanksgiving without him, and my first birthday without him. Now is his favorite time. My heart is crushed and I am lost. I just turned 48. Where do I begin again?