Tina

Tootie, I know how you feel. I too lost my best friend Dec.14,2003. It is so hard to deal with. I still go to the phone to call her. Weekends I feel so lost because that was mom days and we went over her house. My dad passed away too but it was nothing like when mom passed although it was terrible when dad died I still had my mom. Moms are just SPECIAL!!!!! After mom died I got literally sick with grief. I decided to do a Scrap Book for each of my two girls since I had so many pictures ( I had my own plus inheriting my moms) I got on the computer on Ellis Island website to see when my ancestors came to the United States. I got information from family members on how my great Grandparents met and wrote a little bio on each generation and put it in with their pictures. I put in things that were told to me, funny stories things I remembered... It took alot of time but it was good for my soul. I seen my parents as not just MY MOM and DAD but as a little kids, as silly teenagers, as a two young people in love. I found cards and letters my parents wrote to each other that were saved all those years. I'm sure your sister had some of these same feelings doing her album. I just keep thinking things WILL get better in time, when my dad died my mom was heartbroken too but somehow she pulled it all together and made a life without him. I don't even remember how long it took or when it happened it just seemed like we were going to cry forever but ever so slowly we healed. So I'm not going to listen to anyone if I want to cry I cry I talk to mom and I know SOMEDAY I WILL feel better it just takes time and I have plenty of that..... and so do you Tootie.... Tina

Hi My name is Tina It was one year ago Dec.14,2004 that I lost my mom to Lung Cancer. My husband, My daughter, and I moved in with mom to take care of her as she wanted to stay in her own home. she had just moved into a new Condo and never got a chance to enjoy it. I miss her so much and I am glad we were able to take care of her and she was with the ones who LOVED her but at the same time I'm haunted by her suffering and being unable to breath. How she cried like a baby and was so scared of what she was facing. The sadest part is she had one of the most treatable Cancers there is but her doctor (that she had so much faith in) ignored her complaints on her cough, her pain in her chest (he said it was pleurisy or a pulled muscle or old age) he never suggested a chest x-ray to see what was going on. After mom passed away and I was cleaning her condo I found receipts from her doctor of two years ago and found complaints of cough and pain in her chest. It is so lonely without her here. Everyone keeps telling me to move on and don't dwell on it. But she was such a big part of my life. I did have Hospice the last few days of my moms life I wish I would have called them sooner but we were all in denial of what was happening to mom. I'm glad I found this website I was beginning to think I was losing it feeling so bad after so much time but I see other people feel the same ater one year two years so now I feel I'm OK and it takes some people longer to get over things... things will never be the same without mom here but we HAVE to go on in hopes there is an after life and we'll see our loved ones again!!! Thanks for listening... Tina