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JellyT

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Everything posted by JellyT

  1. Hello Erin, Spela, and Niki I am sorry for all of your losses. I know how life altering the death of a mate is. I am writing because I kept reading that all three of you had questions about whether the pain gets any better or if you can ever be happy again. I know that every person's grieving process is unique, but I can only speak from my experience. I lost my fiance Mike of almost 4 years about a year and a half ago, he was murdered. And the first year I had extreme trouble coping with it. But now I can honestly say that every day it gets easier. It was so hard to go about my everyday life because it revolved completely around him, but now I actually go out with friends and have a basically healthy normal life. I'm not saying the pain has went away completely, but it does not dominate my life on a daily basis. I hope that you guys can get some hope or comfort out of this. I understand that it may be hard to hear that in a year from now or however long it takes that the pain of losing your soulmate, lover, and best friend does start to fade, because I thought everybody was crazy and didn't know how I felt when they told me, but it really does. And then when you get to that point hopefully you will be able to think of him and be happy without being sad. I know that knowing he is there, but not physically, is not always enough, but eventually you will start to heal. In the meantime what helped me was being selfish, and no it's not wrong to be that way. Making time to comfort yourself is most definitely a plus. And try not to feel bad for thinking about him so much, if you don't let yourself get it out verbally or just mentally it will just stay there, and that is not always good:) I know it really helped to read your guys stories and I hope mine will help you too. Sincerely, Trish in Michigan
  2. My fiance Mike was brutaly murdered on Sept. 24, 2003. He was in a coma for 5 days while I was unaware of his situation. I never even got to say good bye. It has been over a year now, and I'm still having trouble not having him here. We had been together for almost 4 years and he was my first love. We didn't even get to have the wedding yet. I am trying to get on with my life, but for so long he was my life and it is hard.
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