Jeanne

Hi sweetgirl, I don't know if you will have room in your new place to do what I did....I kept our big house and it has been a comfort to me this year instead of hurting me. I am just now, after nine months, beginning to think that I might move to a smaller place one day. I like keeping this one because my children can come to visit me here, and are used to it....since one of them spent her teen age years here and the others have visited many times. We love it. Anyway, I decided to bite the bullet and go through his two closets of clothes a month ago. I went through them one by one....and the way I decided I just had to keep something was when I just held it to my chest as the memories flooded through me. When I did that I put it back in the closet. I managed to give away three fourths of them, and the half closet full that I have left comforts me, and makes me feel that I didn't just get rid of everything....my favorites and my favorite memories are still there. Maybe one day I will put them in an box and save them on the closet shelf, but I'm not ready for that yet. I like them hanging in his closet where I can still hold them when I feel like it. I believe in going at these things gently and when you feel like it. You DO get where it doesn't hurt quite as much and you feel more like doing things....little by little. It surprises you, but one morning you get up and know you feel like doing something you just couldn't have done a month ago. I believe that if you don't encourage yourself to suffer more than normally and try to feel stronger, and treasure the good things you had...then you will grow stronger and happier. Jeanne.

Hi Becky....my husband died in June 2004 too. We didn't find that he had cancer til a year and a half before he died....and it was too late when we did find out to do anything about it. We lived for over year with a hopeless verdict. In many ways it was good to have that time, but very hard too. Some days I feel like I am doing pretty well, and others think I am crashing hopelessly. It seems as though we should be doing better after almost eight months, doesn't it.? I am 59 and Tom was 60. That still seems too young to have do live without him. I try to stay positive too...but it doesn't work about half or more of the time. Jeanne

Hi Grammybear and everyone. My husband of forty years died last June after battling cancer for two years. I am lost without him too, and hardly know how to keep going. I am glad to find others who feel as I do. Jeanne

Hello. My husband died last June, after a year of illness. I don't seem to be making much progress in my grief, though I am trying my best. It is good to find a group to talk with. Jeanne