don

Nikki sorry for your loss of your beloved greyhound and I am trying to look at like you said love received vs love lost but it is still so hard.I am trying to listen to everyone's kind supportive words but just today I got my girls ashes and the pain just came back full force.The not knowing if I could have saved her makes it worse as its bad enough I miss her so much.I realize it was probably cancer Hemangiosarcoma and the vet said if it was that she would only last 1 to 3 months and maybe less as the tumors and bleeding could start up at any time.I feel so helpless and keep going back in time replaying what I could have done different.i know it's useless and I'll try and listen to everyone here giving me so much support I really appreciate it.i don't know how I would be handling it if I didn't get all your help.thanks again just trying to remember my girl as she was so loving and how much I loved her.

Thank you so much for all the support in helping me deal with the loss of my beloved boxer girl.The pain and missing her still just makes the day unbearable but slowly maybe my guilt will subside.I read up on Hemangiosarcoma and seen that it is called the silent killer as most of the signs are very vague and almost every case the owner would find out too late.In my case there was internal bleeding but then the body would autotranfuse and my dog would be okay for a while until the tumor ruptures and then collapse and massive bleeding.Its almost like this cancer is taunting you before taking someone you love.I am trying to convince myself there wasn't much I could have done to save her and all your support really helps and I am trying to heal .at the same time I miss her so much my stomach feels sick I still cry and wonder why did this happen.Im not blaming anyone but just feel lost and helpless and empty.reading your comments and giving me support means so much and I appreciate you taking the time to try and help me get through this.I know she will always be in my heart .Still have to believe that she was gonna leave me no matter I did I wouldn't want her to suffer through a painful cancer.The missing is so hard .thank you for your help I really do need and appreciate it.

I just lost my 7 yr old boxer to a ruptured mass in her spleen so sudden probably cancer Hemangiosarcoma.I feel so much pain and guilt it is unbearable.She had been showing some signs like drinking more panting a bit more but it was hot out.also standing up and not wanting to lay down for minutes at a time but she was always a nervous dog so thought maybe was scared of something like thunder she was a bit more tired and coughed a couple times but thought just was clearing her throat.but in every case the next day she was fine running and playing in the yard with her ball was eating fine till the last morning.she yelped once a couple weeks ago but thought her paw got caught in couch she was laying on.then in morning she went out seemed fine went back to bed with me then when tried to get her off bed she collapsed rushed to er vet they tried to save her but she died within an hour or 2.i still blame myself for not taking her to vet earlier maybe could have saved her to last even if cancer a couple months.the vet said she had mass on her spleen which ruptured they didn't have time to check to see if she had any more because she went into cardiac arrest during ultrasound.I just feel so much pain I can't sleep don't know how to handle this.I feel helpless don't want to be in my house so much reminds me of her .She would sit on my lap and put her paws around me hug me lay over my legs at night when we slept in bed she was so loving it makes it so hard to just be in my house I miss her so much.I know if it was cancer she wouldn't have lived much longer and I think it probably was so trying to just believe she was going to leave me no matter what I did.its just the extreme pain I feel I cry so much during the day.I feel empty without her with me.Thanks for listening needed to tell someone maybe hoping I could tell her.

Hi Leeann, thanks for your support again On the day chewy died I actually thought she was dying as i thought she might have been having a heart attack.So when i went to the vet with her i almost "assumed" she was going to have to be put to sleep.So when i say it was out of my control it just seems like i made up my mind before all the facts were in.Thats why i feel i rushed it a bit even though the vets prognosis was so bad i think in the back of my head i already had myself prepared for her to go.now i think maybe i just let her go without really thinking everything through.Yes i was preparing for her to leave the past few months as i knew her time was limited so i think maybe seeing her get that seizure and her so weak that i just probably was thinking this is it so ill let her go.It was almsot like i had gotten the courage to let her pass and now i was frozen with that choice and didnt fully consider trying to save her even though i know she was in bad shape and when i look at the facts she probably wasnt gonna make a recovery but i just feel like i decided too quick.Like i just said okay to the vet like it was just an expression when i was ending her life.thats why i feel i rushed.And no i dont have a secret fountain of youth for pups. Good point though as i know her time was coming to an end and even if i had more time to decide the choice or outcome would probably be the same.I guess im just thinking like maybe i let her go so quickly because i didnt want to go through this again i just doubt myself sometimes.I did talk to my vet a few days after her passing and he kind of assured me i did the right thing saying what she had and with her ailments and odds there was little hope but did say i still couldve tried a transfusion if i felt "rushed'.i did say if i had brought her in a few weeks earlier she could still be alive but he said maybe that was a blessing in disguise as it may be better for her and her ailments that we let her go.He said had to put his own dog to sleep and that doesnt mean he didnt love him so in a way I understand somewhat.Boy im rambling on aint I? maybe i just miss her so much im imagining things.i do know i miss her and i do feel a little better.Leeann Thanks for taking the time to read and respond it really does help me. Don

Well, The horrible pain of losing someone we love so much is something i would take all over again if i could have another 161/2 with my chewy.Even though I am still depressed over her and still have some doubts as to if i did the right thing by putting her to sleep.I guess it happened so fast i think maybe i should have not have made such a life decision as quick as i did.I think that is why i still have questions about putting her to sleep.It was almost like it was out of my control even though it was my choice.I did what i thought was the right thing what you hear people say you should do but somehow i have guilt.Chewy was such a fighter so i still am somewhat angry at myself for letting her go so easy as i just said okay when the vet asked me if i wanted to go ahead with it.I know she was in bad shape and i did trust my vet who thought it would be best to put her to sleep but he also left the door open just a little for a transfusion and tests so i think i will always wonder if i could have saved her and given her a few more months.maybe i just wanted her for a little longer for myself i dont know.I do know i still hurt by my choice even though i see logically it was probably for the best.I just wish i could just mourn her and not blame myself but for some reason i keep regressing and feel responsible for ending her life.i do feel better some days but i still have those days where i hate myself.its been about 2 months and though i feel a little better i still have the pain of seeing her eyes close and i gave permission for the vet to do it.I know she wasnt gonna live forever and she probalby wasnt gonna get much better but i still cant shake this horrible feeling.Thanks for listening and all your help as i do appreciate taking the time to respond with helpful words.

Leeann, Thank you so much for your support.The story about your friends dog is really tragic but it did give me some light on the subject and how horrible it must be for anyone to go thru this let alone having to put a young 5 year old dog to sleep.He sounds like he was such a lovable guy i hope your friend made out okay as i know this stuff can really haunt you.Im glad you still have those slippers it says alot about the kind of person you are.It makes me feel a little better knowing you think i made the right choice for chewy as i can tell you are a caring person who loves pets as much as i do.I guess everything went so fast makes it worse.I know she was getting old and i was kind of perparing for her to leave me but not so quickly.She used to follow me everywhere but in the last few years we had to keep her out of some rooms with tiled floors because she would slip i know she didnt like it but it was for her own safety.She used to have the run of the house and its a shame toward the end she was so limited.sorry to ramble but just thinking of her so much lately.But thank you so much you have really helped me as im slowly trying to see thatmaybe I couldnt really save my girl even though i wanted to more than anything.I still have that ugly thought of her lying there after she was put to sleep but i guess that may never leave me.Its a shame we have to go thru so much pain by loving so much.thanks again

Thanks Marty and Leeann, Your comments and those linked have helped me without a doubt.I can see i am not alone in this feeling of guilt.Its been a little over 3 weeks and I still have horrible thoughts of putting my girl to sleep although I do know i was thinking of her.I just felt it was so fast she ate her breakfast in the morning and then was gone by the afternoon.I knew she ws old but i feel like i missed out on bringing her home one more time.I guess with the circumstances i still dont feel totally comfortable with my choice.The rushing, the vet saying he would put her to sleep if it was his dog, chewy lying in distress it was like i was already prepared for her dying and felt like i just had to let her go.The part of that interview of the pets hanging on for us kinda reminded me of chewy.Ill never know how much pain she was in with her arthritis because she was a tough girl my vet agreed with me on this.I know she probably wouldnt have lived much longer anyway at least not quality life with her ailments however the part of the interview where it says can you look yourself in the mirror and say you did everthing you could.Thats the part im fighting with.Did i do everything?How do you know?I know she had a long life but how do you know if you did everything?if she got the transfusion would that have been too much?or could I have bought her a little extra time?I know its too late now and basically I listened to my vet in the end although I know I still had the final say.I guess there is no answer i hope i can realize i did what was best for chewy.Thanks again and anyone else please give your thoughts

Shelley, What a very tragic event to happen to have to lose a beloved pet because of money. What a shame the children have to suffer.I know money is a big factor in the way pets are treated or not and to lose one over it is a shame.But its the way life is today,money shouldnt matter in a situation like this but unfortuately it does all too often. Even worse i read your earlier story of how bailey was misdiagnosed with cancer and got a second chance only to have it taken away.Im sure he had a good life of 11 years but it is never enough.I just recently put my 161/2 girl to sleep and i still think maybe i could have saved her and had her for just a little longer.I hope your nieces and nephews are okay and im glad they have you around as I can see you care deeply for them as well as their beloved pets.We are only human and can do so much but we all love our pets.take care of yourself

Leeann, Thanks you so much for your support.Your words do make sense and i can see how I probably did the right thing for chewy as she was old and her body just wouldnt keep up with her mind.It makes it even harder because i know she still had her mind and love for me and yet her body was failing her and even if i gave her the transfusion and she made it she would still be in some pain,maybe get a relapse and her quality of life wouldnt be what she wanted i know she was such a spunky girl who just loved life.She was just such a special dog with humanlike qualities who helped me so much in my life and as you said showed me uncontional love.She would sense if i needed help and help me if i was doing something wrong by just making a little whinning sound.I always thought of her as a guardian angel sent to me she seemed to know my feelings always.Not to be overly dramatic but when i gave let the vet end her life it reminded me of the movie the green mile where tom cruise had to end the life of that "angel" in the execution at the end.I still dont know how I was able to tell the vet okay.Thru all this i still feel like i could have saved her but as you say maybe only keeping her here for myself.I just cant get rid of these guilt thoughts.I know i did what i did because i didnt want her to suffer anymore but still feel like i couldnt helped her one last time.Ive had other wonderful dogs but she was so special.Living without her is hard enough but the pain of having to end her life is becoming overwhelming on me.I hope i can meet my girl in heaven.Thanks again for your support it does help to hear your thoughts.I hope in time i can convince myself i did the best for my chewy

A little over 2 weeks ago i put my beautiful 16 1/2 girl chewy to sleep.I still feel lost and guilty.I did not see signs of her slowing up and tripping the prior 2 weeks as i thought it was just her arthritis or her bad spine acting up.I just gave her an aspirin which probably made her condition worse.Chewy had a spine disease (IVD or the wooblers)the past 5 years or so and was doing okay although she would fall sometimes and walked with a sway in her back legs.She also had bad arthritis in her front legs the past couple years and that was getting worse.On the day her life ended she had a seizure i brought her to the vet who said she was in life threatening anemia condition.he said it was either cancer or an immune disease called IMHA.He said she would need an immmediate transfusion and many tests for any chance of survival but he put the odds low at something like 17% she would survive,He said if it was his dog he would put her to sleep but it was still my decision With her spine disease age and bad arthritis I thought it would be too much for her to endure and she seemed so in pain i ageeed to have her put to sleep.I somehow think i should have tried the transfusion even though the odds were so against her and at her age putting her thru all that wouldnt be fair.Everything went so fast i think i rushed into it although the doctor and my friends said i did the right thing.I feel i failed her and guilty about putting her to sleep and also not seeing signs she was sick.I also miss her so much.How can i overcome this feeling of guilt? I loved that dog more than anything and now i can only thing of how I failed her when she needed me the most.I am angry at myself for letting this happen.I know she had a long life but i cant help blaming myself for what happenned.The pain continues and it been over 2 weeks.I want to remember her as she was so happy and spunky.I know i cant change what happenned but want to remember her in happy times.Did i fail my girl?I am so lost?