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BrendaV

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Everything posted by BrendaV

  1. To Everyone, Thank you.....I am trying to keep as busy as possible....I do have other sources of support, it's just I was hoping for immediate family to be more supportive, oh well.....I just took a night job since sleeping at night is next to impossible; a few people at work know about my situation; I was asked if I needed more time before starting and I vehemently declined, to the surprise of H.R........overnight stocking for Target, I take great joy in "breaking down" boxes! good physical labor always has been good for me......One question, and I know it all probably depends on the person, but, how long before 8:25pm and Sunday nights stop bothering me?.......I want to withdraw so bad...I've wrote 2 pieces about Mom's death, I really should write one about her life, but that will come later, I hope
  2. At exactly 8:25pm on Sunday April 6th my mom passed away due to complications from congestive heart failure; mom went into kidney failure and there was nothing else that could be done for her, except keep her as comfortable as possible until the rest of my siblings could see her and a few other family members. But, we were never told that the hospital was doing this, the nurses kept saying that mom was stabilizing when in reality the medications were what was keeping her alive. The last time, the very last time I talked to her was on the 4th, she looked at me, smiled big and said "Hi, baby" (I am the youngest) I told her I loved her she told me she loved me...a little while later I went into her room and she came out of the light coma she was in again to tell me she was scared, and didn't want to die; I told her I knew she was scared, but I wouldn't leave and no one else would either, that we would be right there with her...I looked into her eyes and told her what no one else would tell her, that this was "it"...sometime on the 5th mom went into a heavier coma....mom was moved to hospice at 4pm on the 6th..we were all with her when she passed, first she stopped breathing, the nurse said there was still a slight heart beat...I spoke up, tears flowing like water and in a non shaking voice said "it's ok mom, let go we will be ok"....now, my dad doesn't want to talk about my mom, he had us girls take her clothes and anything that we wanted that would remind him of her, we were told that we could keep what we wanted and give the rest to a thrift store....I lost all control after the funeral and was told to keep quiet, my oldest sister basically kicked me out of my parents house; I have sparingly talked to my dad since then and he has told me to "snap out of it" I am 47 years old and still being treated like a 5 year old...I'm not handling this well at all; I was closest to mom, even though we had big and small disagreements we knew that we could always turn to each other.....now, that is gone.....the lovely lady on the right is my mom when she was 15, she's standing with her oldest sister
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