LadyLuck13

I totally understand the feeling. I lost my brother Desmond in April of 2007. After that month, I have constantly thought about dying. I lost a lot of weight and for the first time started having panic attacks. As a teacher, I try very hard to separate my grieving from teaching, but when I go home, that's when it hits me. If I have absolutely NOTHING to do, I will fall into a depressed mode. I would rather drive a quarter tank of gas away before going home sometimes. You're not alone. One thing I can do is honor my brother through painting. He painted several abstract pieces on large canvases and I have 2 in my apaprtment. I think that if you can find something your brother loved to do and participate, it will help you fill in that empty spot in your soul.