joelsgirlkathy

Thanks looks like you lost your honey around the same time i did april19th Kathy

Thanks Joe,I lost the love of my life on april 19th from cancer,Will there ever be happiness for me again.Cheers to our love ones Kathy

Hi,All Today has been an emotional day for me.I went to church and they has a Fathers day special I cried good thing I was alone.Then I went home and had a cry day.I miss my husband and all we did together.I thought I was doing some what good then I have a bad day.I miss his kids they have basicly disapeared We were so close and now nothing.I feel like I lost my children too. I am sitting her drinking a glass of wine and I hear my honey saying just be happy have a glass of wine dear.Broken hearted and alone.It is a bad feeling that no one loves me anymore. Kathy

Thanks to all of you!!! you have helped me so much, Saturday my sister came over and she just let me talk about him and she let me cry all I wanted to. I have a problem with people that act like he was never here and don't want to speak of him.Why do people do that.I just want the world to know what a wonderful man and husband he was.Most people knew him as a godly man and a kind person.I went today to the cementary to put his flag on his grave and I cry and talk to him and GOD.Hospice is trying to get me set up with a grief class but it is hard because I work 2nd shift.I may have to do it my self where would I look??? Thanks so much Kathy

It has been 5 weeks and I have been missing him so bad.I went to the Doctor for a follow-up app.The Nurse said I am so sorry for your loss but he is in a better place and I fell apart,even though I know she is right it stil hurts.I have been trying to stay so busy and all it got me was really tired and no sleep.what am I doing wrong???/ help me please this pain in my heart is getting worse thanks Kathy

What is wrong with me!!!!!!!!!I was at work and noticed that I was counting days on the calander like he is coming home.I also look for e-mails from him on my computer.Joel would go to the hospital for months at a time and then come home.That is what I catch my self doing looking for something that is not going to happen.It has been almost 4 weeks and I just don't know if I can do this. broken hearted kathy

Kayc, I am sorry you did not get to say good bye,we did it for a while he told me what to do when he died and how much money to save for taxes and insurance.he took care of me and now i have to do it for myself and I think I am doing ok.I will go to the court house at 8am to file his will.That should be fast my lawyer will meet me there.All I can say is that I have truely been bless for having him in my life for 13 years. Thanks Kathy

Thanks it helps to know somebody is out there that understands. I breaks my heart that I tried so hard to get him up to the hospital everyday for 3 weeks for the clinical trais.the back pain pushing that wheelchair and watching his hope slip away right in front of my eyes.I kept asking GOD please stop whispering his name stop calling him home.I found out that the cancer was back when I was at work,My boss was so nice to me and I spoke of this to Joel,He wrote this letter to him.I love this letter and I hope that you enjoy this to. kathy Dear Ronnie, Kathy told me how you helped and supported her last week. While I am not looking forward to dying, I am not afraid either. I have lived a long and interesting life. I'll never be in pain, I'll never end up face down in some muddy foxhole, I'll never be in a plane crash, or a serious auto accident, or even have a heart attack. So, you see if I have to leave, this is not a bad way to do it. In 1977 when I first moved to North Carolina there was a 5 year girl in the neighborhood (about the same age as my daughter, Holly at the time). She had leukemia but it quickly responded to treatment and she seemed fine. In 1977 it came back and she died. At the time she died, her parents were in the chapel and a person that I knew very well was sitting with her in her hospital room. The person said she saw body fluids leaking out of her body. She said that Nicole sat up in bed and said, "Look, there is Jesus, and He has come to take me home." Then she laid back down and died. Ever since that time, I have steadfastly held on to the testimony of that 7 year old girl. My concern now is for Kathy and by children and grandchildren. I should know that Jesus will care for them even better than I could, but I want to do it myself. Maybe I can help them better from Heaven than I could on Earth. I don't have that part of theology figured out yet. One great comfort has been the Moen employees. They are always here if we need them and don't charge Kathy very much. >From where you sat, you may have only seen problems but from where I sit, I see a supporting family that helps each other out. We have had 6 people that have helped or supported: Faye, Tink, Carol, Ann,Terry, Phillip, Bennie. Each has told us they are only a phone call away, night or day and have frequently demonstrated it also. Thanks and may God Bless you and Karen and all you hold dear, Joel

Hi All. What a day my stepdaughter sent me flowers and I cried then cried more all day.Had a good friend of mine go out to lunch with me.I sure miss Joel so much.I went to the grave and just taked to him.I never thought in my wildest dreams that he would not make it.He was so hopeful that he could beat it and me thinking it too.I know he is in heaven and he looked forward to seeing God.I would cry when he talked like that.he would say he did not want to leave me but maybe GOd thought he could help me better from heaven.April 19th was the worst day of my life at 5pm he left me. thanks Kathy

Thanks to you all it does help some.It is sad to know others are feeling my pain.sometimes it is unbearable. thanks so much Kathy

Hi All, It is saturday night and i am so lonely.I tried to stay busy today I cut the lawn and took the dog to the park. what am I going to do at night when I miss him the most. kathy[attachmentid=289]

It is saturday night and I have the blues missing my husband, tryed to stay busy today cut the lawn took the dog to the park but you see everybody walking holding hands and missing my life that we had together. what to do when you are home alone and alone just wanted to to know what others do thanks Kathy

Teny, I am so sorry for you too.My honey was sick for a long time.It started when he had a bad bleed and was in a coma for 3 days.They air lifted him to UNC Chapel Hill.They ran test and found out he had a j2k defect in his DNA.that was in 2006 it went thru 2 other stages then last july he went into acute leukimua.He went thru 3 rounds of chemo and all along he told me he was beating it.I finally went and spoke with his doctor on march 24th and he told me he had 4 to 8 weeks left.We was able to say our good byes and I will alway be grateful that GOd gave us that.I was with him when he took his last breath and I would not take anything in the world for the time we spent together. your new friend Kathy

Dusky,Thanks I'll do it and get back to you.I finally have someone to talk to.Where I work people look at me with pitty and they don't know what I am going thru so I have no one to talk to thanks so much Kathy

Fred,I am so sorry about your loss,My Joel had leuikima that went on for 22 months.he was my life and hospice helped me so much, but this grief thing is something I don't know how to do.I am just taking one day at a time.I will read some of the post and maybe I can find some one that went thru the same thing with the cancer.Keep in touch ok this will be a long journey Kathy