tonka

I lost my father October last year,I put aside my feelings and continued some what a normal life not accepting the death of my Father until I started having the panic attacks.This disc. group helped me alot.Over time I provoked the feelings to let the greiving out and now feel much better,still something inside me still feels numb but I will cope with that as long as I can control the attacks.Try talking,writting letters to your Mum and crying.Tonka

Hi, My Father passed about 7 months ago and since then we have been through Chritmas,Easter and in June his Birthday without him,but I still brought him a small gift and got my children to make a card for him,we just placed next to his vase on his grave.For Xmas I brought him a glass angel and Easter a fuffy chick.I also brought him cards.There is nothing to say you can't still buy for her like before it may help.

Hi Pup, I lost my Father 6 months ago.I kinda know how you are feeling but I'm not 12 years old.Have you got a friend to turn to?It helps to cry so don't feel embrased or shy,that why I asked about a friend let all your feelings out.Talk to your Mother either to a photo or at her grave.Don't know how else to help you.I'm sorry

Hi there, When we bruied my father he was placed in a holding crypt at a mueslim until the new mueslim is being buit right next to excisting one,which will be ready late June early July.Anyway I organized the licence to exhume him and then place him in the new mueslim crypt.My question is should I be present while they are doing this?I will be seeing the coffin all over again and not sure if this will be doing more harm than good.At the moment I'm for going but my regret it later.May I have your advice please.Ang

Hi Shel, I too lost my Father but 6 months,I have been suffering the panic attacks,it's hard,scary and I hate feeling like this.I'm trying to allow my self to cry.I try to recall the way he died over in my head and write to him in a letter.I need it to sink in my head.I could not look at his photo up until now,I force my self too and talk to him.I think I will look for a group to join and get couselling.Your not alone,it's a long road but you have to start some where.

Thanks heaps for your reply,my story starts when my Father had his first stroke in 1996 just before he was going to retire,which left him with little use of the right side & affected his speech,he agreed to do the theropy and phiso,he actually did quite well,recovered enough for him to be able to manage alone but my Mother worried and decied to also retire 6 months early to help look after my Dad,I was married at the time and lived a 45 min drive away.Anyway 4 years later in 2000 in had his second stroke this time leaving him 90% disabled and without being able to talk,he refused theropy & phiso,became very stubbon and gave-up.He was very active and loved the outdoors.He was a gardener for a huge swimming pool and recoration centre,everyone loved him,they said that he was there back bone,also helped with the maintance and never complained.I think because he knew he could not even cut the grass in his own back yard he thought he had failed himself.He has always had diabetis which didn't help,but at one stage he devopled alsizmis(don't know how to spell it,but it is the diasese that make you forget things)I think that used to fustrate him alot,he became inpatient and very angry.I saw him on the Saturday and spend the day at there home with my children which he loved, then said goodbye to go home.Monday morning I got a phone call from my Mum to say they had to call a ambulance to take Dad to hospital wasn't sure what was wrong at that stage,but he just wasn't himself.I then thought that I would still take my daughter to kinder and see what happens.At kinder I received a phone call from the doctor at the hospital saying they think he may have had a heartattack,I grab my kids left then with my sister-in-law and drove 1 hour to the hospital,once I got there it was agreed he had a heartattack and was seriosly sick.I always had a thought that this day would came and imaged my brother calling me saying to come the hospital because I knew that after his second stroke anything could happen I thought I would be OK but I just broke down.A few hours later they hooked him up to all the machines to try and control the sugar and salts in his blood and we were able to see him.He knew he was very sick and slowly everything started to fail and cease.Doctors gave him no hope and removed the machines,he would in and out of conunis,when he was awake he would aware I my mother and my aunt were there.I think he like that.We talked to him and said for him to leave as it was his time,we all are faithful and beleive,a local priest came to pray upon him.Three days he lay there and so did we,every breathe I thought would be his last,it scared me to be there and experince but I had to.I would think that he was waiting for the right time,maybe he did not want to do it front of me so I would make a excuse to leave.We would stay there day and night,on the third day we stayed there to around 2am,we deceied to go home to take a shower eat something and rest then came back in the morning,when we returned a nurse was going to give him a wash down and I was going to take a sip of my juice when he took his last breathe,we all jump to be by his side hold his hand and told him to go be free.It was over it seemed to take a life time of suffering at that time but now it went by so quickly. I guess doing this will help I hardly talk about it.I think I need to cry alot more,I have even start to write letters to him. Thank-you for replying I know my Dad would like me to be happy and I'm going to do every thing I can to help myself because I want to think of my Dad with happy memories not scared to get another attack I have to look after his grandchildren and do everything he done for me to them.He was a great Father,he gave me everything.He worked for me and my brother to provide us a good furture.Love you heaps Dad.Ang Tricia my heart goes out to you,that "truck" you are waiting for,I will be here to help and I'm sure others also. MissMyMom thankyou I will help others on this forum as you have me.

Hi there, I' m trying to deal with accepting the death of my Father 6 months ago,I'm having panic attacks and are scared that they may start to develop into other fears. I watched my Father take his last breath and was there everyday as he slowly got worse.I want to remember him not be afraid to think of him as it may provoke another attack.Can someone please help?