My family has been hit with a lot of grief in the past few years. In my short 16 years on earth, I have lost two grandfathers, a great-grandmother, an uncle, a grandmother, and my father. Many of the deaths happened when I was almost too young to really grieve. But my father died two and a half years ago from a six-month battle with cancer, and that loss hit me hard. When we got the call that he had died, I was completely numb. I think I was in shock that whole first year. I didn't cry at all. I wish I would've...I cry a lot now. What I'm trying to get at is that I didn't deal with my grief for my father at all. Then, last year, my grandma, whom we were all extremely close to, died. Before her death, she was in and out of the hospital for months. The first time she went to the hospital, I sort of knew that she wouldn't make it through the summer. That's when the problems started. For a few days, I went through what I think might've been panic attacks. My heart would start to hurt, and I would feel like I couldn't breathe. I couldn't be around anyone without feeling like the room was spinning. These attacks eventually went away, and I haven't had any since, but they really scared me! I was worried that I might have something wrong with me, but since they only happened when I was upset about my grandmother, I have to think that they were related to my grief. Could these attacks happen because of the supressed grief I had for my father? I'd really like someone's opinion on this. --Jenna
