I lost my Mom on April 29th, 2005 (My Dad passed away in 1979). My Mom and I lived together and for the past 9 years she was unable to walk. I am 61 years old and single. I had a companion stay with her while I worked and I took over nights and weekends. I loved my Mom and it was a pleasure to care for her. It was not easy at times. 3 years ago I was diagnosed with breast cancer and went thru the surgery, chemo and radiation. Thank God I am cancer free now. In the last few weeks I had the help of Valley Hospice. Mom had congestive heart failure and I could tell she was suffering. That along with the onsent of dementia changed her from a very lively happy lady to someone that was ready to give to give up no matter how hard I tried to keep her happy nothing worked. She stopped eating then drinking and I had to give her morphine for the pain. She cried every time I tried to move her. The day before she passed they brought oxygen into my home to help her breathe. The next morning, I sat by her side and told her that when the angels come to take her to my Dad she sould go with them. I told her I would be allright and that I loved her. For the first time in days she opened her eyes and tried to speak. I said yes Mom, I know you love me too. She closed her eyes and left me. I feel so lost and alone. I cry at the drop of a hat and even my gardening which I love does not help me. I am an avid Ricky Martin fan and so was Mom so that even hurts. I have a Brother that lives about an hour away who calls all the time and I try to convince him that I am OK because he has his own family and grandkids and I don't want him to worry. Friends have been great but for the most part I just want to be alone. Will this feeling of loneliness get better? Will I ever be able to go on? I miss her so much. Thanks for listening