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TryingToGoOn

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  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    Vally Hospice, Ridgewood NJ USA
  1. They are together again .That is just what I thought when my Mom died on April 29th. It helps but does not erase the pain of being left alone and you have lost both of your parents in so short a time. Sometimes just writing down how you feel makes it a little better and here we are all feeling the same losses I pray for all of us every nite and I am hoping all those new angels up in heaven are listening to how much we love them
  2. Oh how I know that feeling. That is the worst part. Walking into the empty house with all those memories. I have even tried to force myself to remember only the good times but it has been impossible. I have resigned myself to the fact that this is going to take a very long time and I just have to do the best I can
  3. Kansaswalker I can relate to that feeling of being alone and having no one. I have family and friends but they cannot take the place of my Mom. I come home from work to an empty house and the memories are just too much and the tears flow almost every day. I know in time the pain will lesson but right now it hurts every day and it is very hard to convey these feelings to someone that has not felt this kind of loss. I know my Brother loved my Mom also but he was not with her every day. He had his own family to take care of and lives 1 hour away. It was just Mom and Me and now that my Mom s gone it's just me It helps me a little to come her and let some of these feelings out. I hope it also helps some of you.
  4. Thank you. The tears never seem to end but I am trying. I think the fact that I am living alone does not help. All of my family live at least 1 hour away and have not been here since the funeral. They do call but it is not the same as being here. I do have one cousin closer who has been a blessing. Letting me cry on her shoulder and trying to help me thru this. Everything reminds me of my Mom, everything
  5. I am having the same problem Paddington My Mom died on April 29th and I cannot seem to find comfort anywhere and from anyone. She was so ill at the end I prayed for God to take her and end her suffering and now I feel guilty for doing do After I read your story the first thing that came to mind is that you should concentrate on the help she gave you and know that right now she is most likely looking down and trying to help again. Open you heart and let her in and listen. She will show you the way from heaven just like she did while having the cup of coffee. That is what I am tyring to do with my Mom. I know she does not want me to feel this way and I pray that, in time, I will be able to go on with all the good memories In the past four weeks I have come to realize that it's going to take time, lots of time. I cry at everythng that reminds me of my Mom but that is better then keeping it in. Look at your children and remember all the adivse she gave and how much she loved them and you. That love is also your heart and the hearts of your children and you husband. Remember the love as I am trying to do and we will both make it thru. God blesd you and your family
  6. I lost my Mom on April 29th, 2005 (My Dad passed away in 1979). My Mom and I lived together and for the past 9 years she was unable to walk. I am 61 years old and single. I had a companion stay with her while I worked and I took over nights and weekends. I loved my Mom and it was a pleasure to care for her. It was not easy at times. 3 years ago I was diagnosed with breast cancer and went thru the surgery, chemo and radiation. Thank God I am cancer free now. In the last few weeks I had the help of Valley Hospice. Mom had congestive heart failure and I could tell she was suffering. That along with the onsent of dementia changed her from a very lively happy lady to someone that was ready to give to give up no matter how hard I tried to keep her happy nothing worked. She stopped eating then drinking and I had to give her morphine for the pain. She cried every time I tried to move her. The day before she passed they brought oxygen into my home to help her breathe. The next morning, I sat by her side and told her that when the angels come to take her to my Dad she sould go with them. I told her I would be allright and that I loved her. For the first time in days she opened her eyes and tried to speak. I said yes Mom, I know you love me too. She closed her eyes and left me. I feel so lost and alone. I cry at the drop of a hat and even my gardening which I love does not help me. I am an avid Ricky Martin fan and so was Mom so that even hurts. I have a Brother that lives about an hour away who calls all the time and I try to convince him that I am OK because he has his own family and grandkids and I don't want him to worry. Friends have been great but for the most part I just want to be alone. Will this feeling of loneliness get better? Will I ever be able to go on? I miss her so much. Thanks for listening
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