Well, I left the house this am and decided to go to the Mall where I would take mom in the wheelchair and have some lunch, check out the puppies at the petstore and just cruise. It is 115 degrees here in Phoenix; so the AC being pumped up there helped me. The experience was so painful that at times I could hardly breathe. I was dazed as I went in and out of stores we frequented. I avoided even walking by the food court. From afar I glanced at tables where we would sit. It's so stupid; but I can never go into a Sees Candy Shop and get a free sample of candy again. I tried to walk ever so fast so that no one would see this frantic person. I used to work at JCPenney there, but went out of my way to avoid former co-workers with whom I have visited there for years since I have left. The first thing they would ask is how mom is. The few times I have had to get the words out, "my mom died," I nearly passed out. It is only 1PM, and I am taking to my bed now. I have touched many of here possessions today again. I have sat on her closet floor and bawled again. The days seem to be getting longer. Thanks for hearing me.