truckgirl

HI! My situation is a little different but I am experiencing similar feelings. My mother and I were caregivers for my grandmother for 9 years...it was a 24/7 job. I too feel so alone...I am here for everyone else as they grieve but no one is ever here for me. I have a few people who are very close to me....but I am very private about my feelings and I have a hard time opening up. It seems as though no one I know really understands. Being a caregiver for someone with Alzheimer's Disease is very difficult and it is impossible to be in good mood everytime you change a diaper or give a bath...I have a hard time not regretting the times when I wasn't as kind and positive as I should have been. But...I know my gradnmother felt my love and that is what I try to focus on. Well good luck, I hope that you find what you need to help you grieve!

I don't think you ever forget a connection from having a pet...and I think that is ok! something that helped me grieve over my pets was to put together a scrap book of memories....don't know why but it helped!

have you tried visiting a petting zoo or volunteering at an animal shelter? I have found that through extreme pain if I force myself to move on it actually helps...although it won't bring back your animals it might help you feel better since you would be helping animals again!

I am very sorry to hear of your loss...your dog is now in heaven playing with my dog...i hate it when stuff happens to animals, it doesn't seem fair! every experience I have had with the 24 hour vet has been similar to yours...there is only so much they can do at first...they just have to observe and monitor their condition...with certain injuries they just have to wait... truckgirl

the hardest thing for me to realize was that I can't do it on my own (caregiving for my grandmother)! It was SO difficult to actually let someone from the outside come in and help care for MY grandma! BUT...after nine years of caregiving it was just affecting my family way too much! so...maybe you could have someone come in and help care for your father? good luck! don't forget to take care of yourself!!!!!!!

I feel as though I was grieving over my grandmother's death 9 years before she died....she had alzheimer's disease and I was a caregiver for her for that time...I think that it is good to do the "pre-grief" stuff because it actually does seem to make the actually grieving process a little bit easier. just focus on enjoying your time with your dad as much as you can! focus on his life rather than his death...although he is in bad shape he still can feel your love and presence!

wow...I think I would be feeling the same way! people do the craziest things and you can drive yourself crazy trying to figure out "why"... just try to remember that your mother knows that you love her and that is all that matters....forget all the crazy stupid stuff that goes on and just focus on doing what it is that you need to do in order to grieve for her. good luck!

hello, for whatever reason it seems as though tragedy never happens just once! when I was 13 I lost 3 people who were very close to me...and once again...I lost my grandmother and grandfather within a year of one another... what I try to remind myself of is that my loved one would not want me to be so sad and depressed over their passing...so I try to do whatever I can to keep on going.... mel

wow, what an intense story! thank you for sharing and your family is in my thoughts and prayers!

HELLO SHELLEY, wow...what an intense experience! thanks for the support!

Hello! I have had a few friends who have gotten professional help and who have been hospitalized for grief...they all said that it didn't help as much as they had hoped for! it is a hard thing to determine whether or not that is what you need? Sometimes just taking a vacation can really help...I am getting to the point where I really need to GET AWAY!!!!!! I just want to see the forest trees and relax...it's been since march when my grandmother died and I haven't dealt with her death yet! Good luck!!!

You're braver than I am Butch! I didn't get another dog for YEARS after I lost my doggie! THEN...two years ago I rescued my baby, pepper, a german shep/collie mix. She's about 10 and she was beaten and starving to death...by my ex friend. I hope all is going well with your new baby!

yeah, I celebrated my birthday last week for the first time without my gramma...it sucked...really sucked. I try to be positive but it hurts! I am sorry to hear about the loss of your gramma...unfortunately I know how you feel.

Hello! Sometimes I just want to scream because everything reminds me of my grandmother...I would give anything to be able to see her smile and hug her again! I am sorry that you don't have much support...you have me and a lot of other people here! I have my roommate...she lost her brother 17 years ago and is still grieving...she is a great support to me! Have a great day!

HI Katie! Thanks for the reply, it was good to hear form you! So many people tell me that I have lost so much because I had to grow up so fast...a part of me doesn't feel like I missed out on anything! Has horrible as it was I enjoyed taking care of my grandmother...I just gave her back the love she had always given me! So how do you get through your birthday? I don't share a birthday with my grandma but I share her middle name...it kills me when my friends or mom say my middle name...I just don't want to hear it! MY birthday is Thursday and it'll be my first bday without my granny...although she was mentally gone for years and didn't even know it was my birthday I am still really going to miss her being there! Thanks for the reply Katie, nice to meet you! Mel

Hello, My grandmother passed away from Alzheimer's Disease after my mother and I cared for her for 7 years! please respond because I think that you and I will have a lot in common!

HI! I am a "new griever" (3 months) and my best friend who has been grieving for 17 years tells me that you will always miss your loved one...you will always shed tears...but that sharp pain from the "fresh grieving" does eventually go away! I am trying to believe that and be positive! GOOD LUCK!

wow, that is an incredible statement. I would truely have to agree!

Hello! Who cares if you never clean out his closet! Too many times people try to "clean everything out" and it ends up causing them more grief than if they had just left it there! Take your time, if you decide to clean it out then great...but if not, then who cares! good luck! I have found that the oddest things make me break down! things that have nothing to do with the person I lost. There is no reason for it except that we just need to cry.

Hello! I believe that we all have the capability to love many people....not just the one that we've been with for many years! If you open your heart to love again you will atract another man and fall in love again! good luck!

HI! I am a huge pet lover myself and the only suggestion that I can offer to you is try to embrace the things that make you sad/ cry. Listen to music while holding a picture of your pets and just let yourself cry. I think that too many times (myself included) people try to cover up their feelings rather than embrace them! Good luck!

I have a weird situation...I am 21 (a little old for this group) but I gave up 7 years of my life, my teen years, to care for my grandmother. I was 14 when I started caregiving for her...so in some ways I feel like I have all of the sudden reverted back to the age of 14...I gave up SO MUCH that a teen gets to have fun doing...I don't regret it but I wish I could have experienced a lot of what a teen gets to go through!

my best friend's brother died 17 years ago and she is still not "over it". she has learned to deal with her emotions but she told me that you never "get over it". how can you just forget someone and move on. I was a caregiver for my grandmother for 7 years and I gave her my heart and soul and then some more! I will never "get over" her death and I will always be heartbroken. One day I know I will learn to manage the pain I am feeling but until then it hurts like hell...sometimes i feel like I am going to have a heart attack it hurts so badly!

Hello. I am totally new at this whole sharing your feelings things so forgive me if at times I sound cold. My mother and I were caregivers for my grandmother who had dementia for 7 years. It was a 24/7 job and we did everything for her. I have lost a lot of people in my life and NONE have affected me as strongly as my grandmother's death. I poured my heart and soul into her...I gave up just about everything just so I could take care of her. Now that she is dead I feel like my life is meaningless and I'm not doing anything worthwhile! I started caregiving for her when I was 14 so friends and going out weren't a part of my life. Now I am 21 and I am dating and trying to go out but I feel guilty when I go out and I don't know why. She passed away on March 16th at 12:39 am and I got home around 4 and laid in bed until 6 then went to work for 8 hours. Anyway, I wanted to know if anyone had a smiliar experience...thanks.

Kelly, I went through similar feelings the 7 years I was losing my grandmother. She missed so much in my life and even though her body was here her mind wasn't and she didn't understand the way I wanted and needed her to!