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kayc

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About kayc

  • Rank
    KayC
  • Birthday October 7

Previous Fields

  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    spouse
  • Date of Death
    June 19, 2005
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    Eugene OR

Profile Information

  • Your gender
    Female
  • Location (city, state)
    Oakridge Oregon
  • Interests
    I lead a grief support group and I enjoy volunteering in my church (Treasurer & on Praise Team, choir) and the senior site, where I do the bingo prizes. I love stamping, hiking, nature, singing. I am a retired Office Mgr./Bkpr.

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  1. Good organization! I hope it really helps you, as I think it will! I'm glad they have one nearby. NONE of us knew what we were doing as we entered this strange world of grief, all of us in shock, scared, overwhelmed, didn't know where to start...one day at a time. We find our way.
  2. EFT EFT in Grief also: EMDR Physical Grief Symptoms What's Your Grief Physical Reactions to Loss
  3. I'm glad, it always feels good to me to have another one behind me, the anticipation is harder I think.
  4. Wow, beautiful! Looks in perfect health here! We never know...animals can be stoic and hide what's going on inside of them, part of their survival instinct so as not to become prey. I'm sorry, I know how hard this process is.
  5. One day at a time. I've had to learn to ride the waves with grief, even anticipatory. I was closer to my MIL than my mom as my mom was mentally ill and abusive, but my MIL was the mom I'd always wanted and my best friend. I took care of her the last three years of her life when she was bedridden with cancer. It was hard but it was also a very special time too. Back then there was no internet and I had children age 1-3 & 3-5 during that time, running two households, cooking for guests, cleaning both homes, etc. This can be a special time even while taxing.
  6. I'm glad the battery is holding a charge at least! I had a brand new battery on my truck (Les Schwab) and it didn't hold five days! I had them recharge it, that's when I ordered a battery tender and hooked it up. No more problems. I don't know if something in the electrical drains it or what.
  7. Maybe try to go and see how it plays out, it's nice that he still thinks of you. You can always beg off if you have an anxiety attack.
  8. I am so sorry, @lattiee so unfair how life dishes out sometimes. Try to take a day at a time and enjoy what good there is in her time left. You can come here and vent/cry, we're here.
  9. Wow, this is a lot to take in! Personally, I think he may be pushing aside his grief by having this distraction in his life. It's not that five years is too soon, but more how he's gone about things...her married, their divorcing, his feigning to be "just friends" when it doesn't look that way, why else would she be sending him old love letters when she's married? And his not blocking her states what he is telling you is differing from his feelings. HOWEVER, knowing grief as I do (and loss of spouse was my hardest, I'm also no stranger to loss/grief), he was very vulnerable when he got inv
  10. It's good you're able to recognize and embrace the joys that come our way! I know this never goes away, but having much time under my belt has helped. Hoping it continues to grow softer for you.
  11. It wouldn't start, battery is dead. Oh Karen, OH NO! I'm sorry you broke that important tooth! I hope enough is there that they can do a restoration so it can continue being an anchor for you. It seems we spend so much time trying to get by or do something with our health. I never knew this would be a full time job.
  12. Gwen, I know you can't get around well, I know you're in pain, but you can order a battery tender (and a charger) from home and have someone from a local garage come out and put it on, both very easy! Or even your guy friend next time he can come. I sure wish you had a helpful neighbor! I got up and hit my head on the bathroom door at bedtime last night, same spot as two months ago, thought I was going to pass out, it hurt so bad! Still hasn't healed from before, and they're billing $2,900.00 and insurance isn't paying! My sister said she'd call an ambulance, I said a loud NOOOO! I
  13. @Kevinslove I wish I'd read this eight hours ago when you posted it so I could have respond right away, but alas, I wasn't awake then. My heart goes out to you...these days are so hard, it's weird how time marches on but that moment is forever etched into our being. Everything being "before" or "since." The most life-altering experience we've encountered. I have two events in my life that are before/since moments, the first when I was 14 and my sister's accident changed everything, left her quadriplegic and killed her three year old boy, damaged her and my other sister's brain...the s
  14. @Di HI am so sorry! My husband had a sudden/unexpected heart attack that took his life, he'd just turned 51, it was Father's Day 2005. You spent your life with him, even working together, this must be very difficult! I'm glad your kids have been there helping. My heart goes out to you, I remember well those early months/years, it's forever etched into us as it changed us and our lives. I'm glad you found this site, it was my salvation during that time as none of my siblings had experienced this, nor my friends. My sister just lost her husband a few months ago, they had 50 years tog
  15. Yes, a LOT of people experience this! I think I was in a fog the first year plus! It really is shocking and hard to assimilate! I agree, very hard, first year but second is also very hard if not harder in a way, but to me, nothing was worse than than day/night one slamming into me! I look back to where I was and I can see much "progress" if you can call it that, at the very least, getting used to or adjusting to living alone, but oh how long it took and how hard it's been! Still, I'm doing it.
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