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kayc

Contributor
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About kayc

  • Rank
    KayC
  • Birthday October 7

Previous Fields

  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    spouse
  • Date of Death
    June 19, 2005
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    Eugene OR

Profile Information

  • Your gender
    Female
  • Location (city, state)
    Oakridge Oregon
  • Interests
    I lead a grief support group and I enjoy volunteering in my church (Treasurer & on Praise Team, choir) and the senior site, where I do the bingo prizes. I love stamping, hiking, nature, singing. I am a retired Office Mgr./Bkpr.

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  1. kayc

    Memories of Kitty

    When she came to my house, there was twine hanging out her belly. I knew someone had crudely “fixed her,” no self-respecting vet would ever do a job like that! I clipped the twine and shuddered to think how it went down. Did they ply her with alcohol? How had she survived?!
  2. kayc

    Memories of Arlie

    I had given him his last walk down the street…all of the neighborhood dogs coming to the street to greet him as we went by, as if they were saluting him goodbye. I prepared him a special breakfast of scrambled eggs and cheese and mushrooms with his Colitis diet of rice, chicken breast and pumpkin. He gobbled it down. We drove to the vet, one he hadn’t met before, they were so wonderful to him. He weighed in at 107.5 due to all the treats I’d plied him with during his illness. Probably the only dog with cancer to actually gain weight…most of the time he ate to please me.
  3. I am thankful I have the best puppy in the world. Middle of the night I woke up with a bad headache, awake for a long time with it, it did not want to abate. Finally dropped off to sleep and woke up 15 min. later than I usually get Kodie up. He never peeped. I appreciate that, most puppies are not like that. A pancake thin pillow sounds hardly worth the bother. Why don't they have down pillows you can fluff up? We had an unpredicted wind storm yesterday afternoon/evening. More limbs to pick up. So glad it didn't snow very much!
  4. I am so sorry, Courtney. It's hard enough grieving the loss of your mom, but your cousin too, needing to find a place for yourself and all the stress that entails while going to school, and lack of familial support...that is a lot on your plate. You will get through this, one day at a time, sometimes one minute at a time. Don't hesitate to come back here close to the holidays, it's something we all go through together, yes, loss of someone important to us changes a lot for our lives. https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2016/04/in-grief-coping-with-multiple-losses.html
  5. Mark, I am so sorry...how hard to face another loss so soon. I do believe it was meant to be that the two of you shared that phone conversation, you have that to cherish always with his memory. I, like you, believe they are together and hope you can find some comfort in that.
  6. Chris, I'm sorry you find yourself in this situation as you sound like a very caring supportive person that doesn't deserve this. But be that as it may, if you're looking for a way to get her back, I hate to tell you but that's not likely going to happen. There's a certain number of people that break off their relationships when they encounter grief. The rest of us want someone being there for us, being supportive, but for whatever reason, the others don't want that. They feel being in a relationship is too stressful and they can't do a relationship and grieve at the same time. And no it's not likely that time will help the situation. For some they feel guilty for what they gave to the relationship instead of the parent that died. Rationale need not enter in, this is emotion based. They can be with their friends, etc. but not with you. Of the hundreds who have written threads about this very thing here, I only remember maybe one who made it through intact. I was one who lost my fiance of a year when his mom was dying. It's been almost ten years ago and he currently has his XW living with him, not romantically involved but because he didn't want her homeless. It takes time with no contact to begin to heal and to get clarity on this. I hope you will consider doing that for your sake; also out of respect for her wishes. It's not likely to change given any amount of time, I'm sorry.
  7. I loved that! I had to give Kodie dewormer a couple of days ago, made him really sick, he vomited throughout the day. Called the vet in the afternoon, they said to give him rice and cottage cheese. I don't normally have cottage cheese but thankfully had some. I thought I had cooked white rice in the freezer but it turned out to be chopped onions, finally found a tiny bit in a tupperware container I'd missed throwing out so made that up for him. Guess I'll have to buy some for when he's sick. Esp. since I'm so far from everything and can't drive at night, it makes emergency runs difficult. My neighbors said they have some in survival kits if I ever need some again. You know, another moot point if George were alive, he'd be glad to make a run for me.
  8. Hey, we have mountains here, I live in them...something in Oregon for everybody...ocean, desert, flat farmlands, you name it! My sister has COPD real bad too, I'm glad she's finally back on her inhaler!
  9. Sometimes you need to know someone is listening and cares...we're here fore you.
  10. Sometimes it's hard to find meaning in life. Fortunately I don't feel that all the time, it's hard enough when it drifts my way. Gwen, you seem in a catch-22, they want you to be active but then you get worn out or feel it's too much. All you can do is pace yourself, mete it out, rest in between. I'm like you, I don't sleep in the day, I have a hard enough time sleeping at night, if I did in the daytime it'd throw me way off. I do hope it gets better for you. You've been knocked way down and kept there so it's going to take time to come back from that. I'm one that wants instant results but sometimes that's not realistic. Darn I wish your psychiatrist had a different demeanor. Any chance of switching to another one?
  11. @Pete Mac I am so sorry for your loss. I've lost so many, but I can't begin to imagine losing a child. I'm glad you found this piece...it gives validation to what we feel as we're all here because of our grief.
  12. Yes! And I wish you the best with it! I know it can be a struggle sometimes...just don't give up!
  13. Thank you for sharing this. I totally get it, it's hard not to go into denial, my journey through cancer with Arlie (dog) shows the struggle I faced. It's hard to process and let go. We want to hang onto them for dear life! All of our feelings are valid, but in the end you did let him go. It's the hardest thing in the world.
  14. Isn't it funny how different they all are? Kitty never flirted with anyone! She was all about demanding Easy Cheese!
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