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kayc

Contributor
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About kayc

  • Rank
    KayC
  • Birthday October 7

Previous Fields

  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    spouse
  • Date of Death
    June 19, 2005
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    Eugene OR

Profile Information

  • Your gender
    Female
  • Location (city, state)
    Oakridge Oregon
  • Interests
    I lead a grief support group and I enjoy volunteering in my church (Treasurer & on Praise Team, choir) and the senior site, where I do the bingo prizes. I love stamping, hiking, nature, singing. I am a retired Office Mgr./Bkpr.

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  1. kayc

    Living with Loss

    He has bitten dogs but she doesn't know about people, the owner died so this is a third owner. I'm fine, any more problems with him though and I won't continue walking him. I'm doing this for free, just so I don't have to walk alone (getting my dog fix) and to help them out.
  2. kayc

    Living with Loss

    I had a long talk with the owner last night, I wish she'd let me know his backstory BEFORE.
  3. kayc

    Living with Loss

    I'm okay, a little bruised, skin broken but okay, it hurt me more inside than physically. Arlie never would have done that. I've been around dogs all my life, this is my first bite.
  4. kayc

    Living with Loss

    Joe bit me yesterday, three times in succession, no warning, no growl, no curled upper lip, nothing. I cried because Arlie never would have done that, never. It really surprised me. I don't feel the same now because I can't trust him.
  5. Kyla, I am afraid you'd be in for more of the same if something happened...the thing about life is, things WILL happen, it's when, not if. Maybe consider being friends and see how that goes? And don't be quick to try to go back to how things were...you are right, things HAVE changed, something of this nature changes things so that they AREN'T the same again. And you wouldn't want everything "the same" or you'd have the same results with you going through this pain again. Be protective of yourself... Is he willing to get therapy/counseling? He needs to understand what happened and why in order to ensure it won't again.
  6. Me too although they haven't said when, they're still keeping an eye on it.
  7. kayc

    Memories of Arlie

    Arlie has been my sole companion for 10 1/2 years. He got up to 140 lbs, but last weighed in at 106. When I broke my right elbow, he walked so careful with me, never pulling, The same when we walked on pure ice. He takes pills down his throat like a chump! He's so considerate...he doesn't wake me unless he has an emergency and needs to go out, and even then he'll try to tell me real quietly like he doesn't want to wake me but needs me to know. I love him more than life itself! (Incidentally, when he weighed in his last day, he weighed in at 107.5, gaining 1 1/2 lbs during his cancer time! That's very unusual but I attribute it to all of the special treats I enticed him to eat his food with.)
  8. kayc

    Living with Loss

    I don't have anything against PBs either, but I'm not going to get one if it means I can't have my grandchildren around, I'll choose another breed, it's not my place to argue the point with my son & DIL. Huskies are very strong. I trained Arlie not to pull but even so, they are headstrong and given the right circumstances, they can easily overtake an elderly person, that is a very real consideration. The rescues wanting to do home visits is the very reason for their criteria of being within 30 miles, something I have no control over.
  9. kayc

    Living with Loss

    Yes, it is Petfinder that was not helpful to me, wanting me to drive 3 1/2 hours away to stand in line at 6 am for a dog that may or may not be available, that may or may not be okay with my 25 year old cat...that isn't acceptable to me. I wrote to them for TWO WEEKS w/o an answer to my question, even called them, they did not return my call. Alas, I will have to keep my eye out and it could take a year or better to find the right one. It is discouraging to say the least. I am not anywhere near a major city. Apparently most of them go through Portland, but I am closer to Eugene, although even that is some distance. Most of the rescues I have seen want you to live within 30 miles, I do not. I agree that Pitbulls can be wonderful, my neighbor had the sweetest one, but I as I am not allowed to have a PB mix near my grandchildren, that is not an option for me. Chihuauas are not my choice as I've seen too many snarling yippy yappy ones to want one for myself...I realize there are many who love them more than other breeds, but they are not me. I prefer large dogs, quieter dogs, but alas can't consider a dog that will be too strong for me as I age...my next dog could take me into my 80s and I have to consider that...otherwise I'd be looking for another Husky. From what I have seen of the "local" (65 miles away) humane society, those fostering get first choice and it seems the fosters do not make their way into the adoption centers. It's all rather complicated. I guess I was very lucky when I met and adopted Arlie!
  10. kayc

    Living with Loss

    I am still bawling every day. Everything is a reminder of how much I miss him. He was the perfect dog for me, there is none like him. I hope he knows how much I love him and that I didn't want to euthanize him, I hope he doesn't feel betrayed. I don't know that I'll be at peace with this until heaven. I still struggle with eating and not being able to give him the "last bite." My home feels so empty. I finally heard from that dog rescue I inquired of, they want me to drive 3 1/2 hours to stand in line before 6 am, to maybe get a dog that may or may not be good with cats. They can't be bothered to check that out. They should have known that before they listed him! $550 for a mutt! No guarantees they won't sell him to someone else first. They've cut off the "holding him" part because of THEIR lack of response in time! I tried getting them to answer my question for TWO weeks! I am still bawling over Arlie and it feels hopeless I'll ever get a dog. The humane society just has chihuahuas and pit bulls, the ones I'd consider are on a "found" list for three months and they won't even show them, let alone adopt them out. Their fosters get first pick. And the other rescue places I checked require you live within 30 miles of Eugene, I'm 60-75 miles away depending on where in Eugene. It's ridiculous. I looked on Craig's list, unless I'm willing to take a Chihuaua or Pit Bull or something large, nope. Cats everywhere, but not dogs. I had the perfect dog for me, perfect.
  11. Good for you! Doctors of any sort don't seem to like us standing up to them, but I do too. I get that, I struggle with it. It's an ongoing battle.
  12. kayc

    Memories of Arlie

    Arlie needed to go to the vet but I was working so I asked a neighbor friend, Rich, if he could take him there. He loved this neighbor, he was his favorite person in the world and he loved nothing more than riding in the back end of his Dodge Ram, which made my truck look wimpy. Arlie enjoyed the ride all the way down the mountain, taking in the air, looking at deer and elk on the way! He was king of the mountain riding in the big truck! Down the hill they went, getting to the bottom and stopping to get out. Rich took hold of the leash, and out Arlie leaped, with momentum! The leash slipped from Rich’s hand and away he went, 350 lb Rich huffing and puffing behind him! People were starting to gather, laying odds on which one would win out. Arlie headed back behind the bank…by the time Rich got alongside of it, Arlie was emerging from the other side, grinning! Over to the post office! People lunging towards him, trying to catch his leash…at last someone got him and returned him to Rich, who took him inside the vet, still huffing and puffing, but not taking any more chances with him! Arlie’s big adventure!
  13. Well I got put on Prednisone yesterday, ugh, and it was challenging to get ointment on my back w/o a husband to do it for me...I ended up taping a cottonball to a long pair of scissors and putting it on with that, it worked! I took antidepressants when I was married to my kids' dad, it was all that helped me withstand it, but when I married George I went off them. I didn't notice any adjustment, really, but he said he did. It was short term and minimal though. I haven't been on them since, even though I get down too, the loneliness is hard. And concerns about growing old alone, those are real concerns. I think it'd help if I had more of a support system. My son is so far away and busy that I have to save counting on him for the hardest of hard things...he usually only comes here once a year, this year he had to twice already.
  14. That's for sure! I've reminded myself of everything I've learned about grief and it has helped to know what to expect, but that didn't prevent my heart from breaking in two or having to go through the pain...we have to in order to process it. And dang if it's not hard to go through. Just keep reminding yourself that the intensity of pain will lessen as you begin to process and adjust to the changes it means for your life. We will continue to love and miss them forever but eventually thoughts of them, instead of bringing pain to us, will bring us comfort and a smile as we remember them.
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