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kayc

Contributor
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About kayc

  • Rank
    KayC
  • Birthday October 7

Profile Information

  • Your gender
    Female
  • Location (city, state)
    Oakridge Oregon
  • Interests
    I lead a grief support group and I enjoy volunteering in my church (Treasurer & on Praise Team, choir) and the senior site, where I do the bingo prizes. I love stamping, hiking, nature, singing. I am a retired Office Mgr./Bkpr.

Previous Fields

  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    spouse
  • Date of Death
    June 19, 2005
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    Eugene OR

Recent Profile Visitors

12,059 profile views
  1. kayc

    Losing Jim

    Thank you! I wasn't on line yesterday, too sick, just saw this. They shocked Jim, he sounds like a different person, realizes he was at death's door. Came home from the hospital yesterday, I talked to him briefly today (I have no voice). Will find out in a month about a defibrillator.
  2. Marty, Kevin was merely asking if a couple of things were affected by the shutdown, it was no reflection on his or my views at all when I briefly answered him. I didn't feel his or my comment was either one of a political nature, he's in Canada so it seemed natural to me that he should wonder what's affected here.
  3. Gwen, I've been horribly sick all week, don't know how long this will last, but it's been very hard taking care of my dog and cat. Everyone says to take Nyquil but I can't drive like this so have to do w/o it. This is one of those times I need my partner back, I can't begin to imagine how you must feel on an everyday basis. I watched what my sister went through this year, and she had a husband who did everything for her! She barely made it through the year. He is still doing all of the cooking, cleaning, dishes, laundry, driving. There needs to be a place you can rent a husband.
  4. You are all doing the best you can with what you have., all any of us can do. Ana, I too quit asking why years ago, never got any answers anyway. I had to learn to accept what is and where I go from here.
  5. kayc

    Losing Jim

    I came down horribly sick yesterday and it's worse today. I have no energy or strength to do anything, let alone drive, and no way would I expose him to this if I could drive. I haven't been this sick in a long time. His daughter Tammra that he didn't want to see because of her stress and drama, came in to see him yesterday along with her mom (his XW), son, friends, etc. They were loud and stayed way too long. April wasn't any too happy about it, too bad the hospital didn't make them leave. I hope he got rest last night.
  6. It helps me to know that I can turn to God and He cares for me. Right now I am super sick so it's hard to even think straight, but that's what stands out to me. That I am not alone.
  7. The embarrassment isn't on you. You did your best. Hold your head up. You can unfriend or block him w/o totally deleting it.
  8. kayc

    Losing Jim

    I just got an update...he's sleeping, hasn't been up to eating today, cardiologist checked him again, they've been giving him the medicine in an IV. The nurse said it'd be 50/50 chance of it working...well it seems to be working! His color is coming back although his breathing is still labored. They plan on shocking him tomorrow, I hope he can take it. They have on the agenda, once he's stabilized to put a defibrillator in him. I hope he can make it through all this. If I can talk to him at some point today/tonight, I may go see him tomorrow, if he is up to it. April is with him today but she stepped out to let him sleep.
  9. kayc

    Losing Jim

    Today he isn't up to it, I haven't even been able to talk with him, his kidneys are shutting down, his life is in God's hands now. His daughter April is with him, I thank God for her, she's a godsend. I should know by this afternoon if I'm going to come down with a cold or not. I may go see him tomorrow if he's up to it. Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers.
  10. Jim and I have been close friends for years, able to talk to each other about anything on our hearts, and I care about him very much. A couple of years ago he scared me when he went into the hospital with CHF. He seemed to be doing a bit better, kind of up and down. Then recently he went into the hospital with his CHF worsening and A-Fib on the radar as well. He got out of the hospital and was up and down with it...lately it's been worsening. His insurance refused to cover the medication the doctor said he must be on, life or death. The doctor prescribed another medicine as well which he was supposed to have filled Friday but the pharmacy kept giving him a run around. Monday he was struggling to breathe so his daughter took him back to the hospital. It took from 10 am to 5 pm for them to get him into a room. The denied medication a friend gave him a three months supply that she'd just had filled and then been taken off of, so he was going to try to get it from the VA for the future. His daughter is trying to find a pharmacy that carries the other medication, meanwhile the hospital has him started on it. His resting heart rate is 138. The cardiologist told him Friday that he should be dead, it's a miracle he's alive. He cautioned him not to do ANYTHING, it could kill him. They also started him with a shrink to work on some of his issues, like why he lets people take advantage of him, that he needs to start taking care of himself first, he had his first session Friday. I have been so proud of him for the strides he's made recently, I want so much for him to live, to continue the work he's begun so he can have some happy years...I pray he doesn't die yet, but that is my fear. His life is very tenuous right now. I'm angry that someone knowingly exposed me to their cold Friday and Saturday and I can't go see him in the hospital, can't take that chance, today is day three after exposure so I should know by the end of the day if I'm coming down with it or not. I want to go see him, I'm the only one he asked his daughter to call. I feel he's too young to be going through all this, he's only 64. Any prayers on his behalf are coveted. I'm feeling like everyone is going to leave me and I'll be all alone, the older I get, the more losses I endure. I feel I'm losing my sister Peggy little by little to dementia. Everyone I love...I'm scared.
  11. We did that at the coast when teenagers, it was a lot of fun! No lizards though.
  12. kayc

    I know I'm not alone, but.....

    I am sorry for the loss of your dad, I don't think anything prepares us for this, they've always been there for us and then suddenly can't be. It's a huge burden to carry to feel like you have to be the strong one for everyone else but feel you are alone in your own grief. I hope you can continue to turn to your husband, I doubt he minds and would want to be there for you. Regardless, you have this place now. (((hugs)))
  13. You can't even begin your healing until you go no contact. I would not be in contact with his family either, at least not for a good long while, you need to begin the healing process. It's like poking yourself with a needle constantly and then wondering why it continues to hurt.
  14. I loved Shawshank redemption, and that was an important message in it. I hadn't thought about it's application to grief before, but it's true. Yes this can be a lonely life. It takes a lot of hard work to build a life that is meaningful to us. I do a lot of volunteer work and spend time with friends, but at the end of the day, I am alone with my dog and my cat. The three of us are a family, but for how long I don't know, Arlie is turning 11 next month, Kitty will be 24 soon. This is a challenge for each of us, what we do with our time, how we do it. That would not satisfy anyway, so good choice. Now if GOD chooses to bring someone into our lives, that'd be different. So far, that hasn't happened.
  15. I have warm memories of kids sledding here, glad you had a good time!
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