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Grief Healing Discussion Groups


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About kayc

Previous Fields

  • Your relationship to the individual who died
  • Date of Death
    June 19, 2005
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    Eugene OR

Profile Information

  • Your gender
  • Location (city, state)
    Oakridge Oregon
  • Interests
    I lead a grief support group and I enjoy volunteering in my church (Treasurer & on Praise Team, choir) and the senior site, where I do the bingo prizes. I love stamping, hiking, nature, singing. I am a retired Office Mgr./Bkpr.

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  1. Thank you for updating us, this is better than expected news and I certainly wish with you for the best! My sister seems to think she can get by with a cane now instead of a walker, I doubt it and voiced my concerns to her. If she falls she does damage! I reminded her of what it was like when she fell, compressing her vertebrae and now she doesn't have her husband with her. I hope for once in her life she listens. I think I'm getting somewhere with her with the air filtration system I want her to have, she gave a cut and dried NO the first time I broached it but I'm applying on her behalf
  2. I am sorry for all you are going through, and him too. While honoring/respecting his wishes, Marty's idea is a great one!
  3. I am so sorry. You and your family are in my prayers. The next few days will undoubtedly be busy as you tend to details and then it will hit...we will be here when you need us.
  4. We are with you all the way! This can be very emotional and difficult but as we grow through our experiences, also very enlightening. I hope you have good support around you.
  5. Well I can only say, GOOD FOR YOU! It's your hard work paying off! Good luck with the roofing...
  6. I would hate taking something that increased my anxiety! I don't need any more! None of us do. I hope you get some respite. I haven't noticed side effects from stopping my inhaler. Would that be weird, to learn I've taken something for 16 years (and very expensive!) that I didn't need! Now to get the COPD out of my records, I believe it's erroneous as I haven't seen any sign of it and no one discussed it with me and when I confronted my former doctor about it being in there, she said Asthma was under that category...my new doctor nixed that. Not 100% positive of the Asthma either, I
  7. I hear you. Today I was looking to give Jazzy the toys that Kodie never plays with as they're too big/strong for him...they were my sweet Arlie's. Not sure I'm ready. I agree. I just felt it was so far over-reaching! I wish people would think about the effect of their words before speaking them. I mean, she's just three years younger than me, how would she like it if her husband died and everyone suddenly felt they had a right to tell her what to do and muddle in HER business! Not well appreciated, I can assure you. Next time I will say, "None of your business" or "Not open for
  8. OMG, this is a lot at once! There is no judging your dad, he is beyond capable of being in his right mind or making decisions. It sounds like perhaps he was looking for bed sheets/blankets and maybe looked under the bed and then couldn't get back up? He's confused, his brain not working right. Of course he's given up, what incentive does he have to fight, he can't make thinking decisions with you in mind, he can't even make thinking decisions for himself. In his right mind, he would not want this, but he's not in his right mind, hasn't been for a long time. I'd start by finding a job
  9. @Alisa, I almost missed your post sandwiched into this thread, but am glad I saw/read it. I will be blunt, as an outsider looking in, it seems clear to me that he is at best, immature & a user, at worst, possibly a narcissist. Either way, not relationship material. You gave and gave and gave and gave to the point of it being unhealthy for you. What did he give in return? Not much! That he broke off with you and then wanted you to do his taxes?!!! NO!!! No more. Let him go. Your life is better off. One thing that really concerns me, and I speak of myself when I was younger
  10. This is a common grief response, we go through all of the "what ifs" in an effort to find a different possible outcome, only to find that there is none but the one that happened. What ifs are our way of trying to find a solution to something that really has none. At least none we find palatable.
  11. And right now you are going through no less. Forgive yourself. All we can do is learn from our new experiences. You are grieving the loss of his companionship, your relationship, your friendship with him! Yes, he is going through much, but that doesn't detract from what he's putting you through in the least. You are BOTH suffering, there is no comparison between grief/loss, only caring...and you do care. We have to make our own closure in absence of their giving us one. Usually they do not give nice neat closure when they leave a relationship (or with death either, for that matter!)
  12. I am so sorry for your loss. My last dog had acute chronic colitis and I had to cook for him his whole life. I had people tout raw food to me too but no way could he tolerate it, it took me trial and error to find what worked and I stuck to that, his veterinary was no earthly help. I searched on line and talked to others going through digestive issues with their dog. But in the end, cancer got him, the vet didn't catch it in time to treat it, he even got a clean bill of health at his exam two weeks prior to diagnosis. I go to a different vet now with my puppy. To me, if anyone let hi
  13. Maybe it's helped your BS! Would not want to do that long term though! I hope you can soon rest! Glad your cat loves it there! I wish you many happy years there!
  14. No, trust me, you do NOT have dementia! I have a family it runs in, you do not exhibit it. Forgetfulness is normal as we age and all the more so under stress!
  15. I'm concerned my new doctor won't be able to keep up with this town's needs now that the other clinic in town closed. Sigh. But I remember when I worked for a doctor here and our vicinity was double the size it is now, we had two doctors, a PA, a FT lab technician, FT nurse and PT nurses, as well as Bkpr/Office Mgr (me) and a receptionist. We kept up just fine. But those were the days when we worked late, whenever need, at no extra pay, they did surgeries, handled emergencies, delivered babies! When someone broke a bone, they x-rayed it, cast it, gave them their therapy, no going to six d
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