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kayc

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About kayc

  • Rank
    KayC
  • Birthday October 7

Previous Fields

  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    spouse
  • Date of Death
    June 19, 2005
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    Eugene OR

Profile Information

  • Your gender
    Female
  • Location (city, state)
    Oakridge Oregon
  • Interests
    I lead a grief support group and I enjoy volunteering in my church (Treasurer & on Praise Team, choir) and the senior site, where I do the bingo prizes. I love stamping, hiking, nature, singing. I am a retired Office Mgr./Bkpr.

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  1. What I've learned is you can buy a generlink on line www.generlink.com and you have a generator (you'd want to make sure it's big enough to suit your needs, they usually have a calculator for that maybe on your elec. site? Then call your electric company to hook it up, ours doesn't charge. It goes through the meter box. No more cords except plugging the cable into your meter box. No more snaking! Don't let it bother you, we all seem to redistribute as we age. My waist is bigger than it was last time I weighed this amount! I wouldn't either! I'd love it if all I had to wor
  2. Wow, that is a lot at once! I will definitely keep you in my thoughts and prayers in December especially! True. My best friend after my husband died moved to TX a few years ago, I have not been able to find anyone like her again, just as I have not found anyone like my George (husband) or Arlie (dog), they don't exist as they were all one of a kind, unique, irreplaceable.
  3. II'm so sorry for your loss. I understand, anniversaries and anv. of death are very tough to get through. Sometimes it feels a lifetime ago (15 years) and I wonder, was he ever really here with me? But I have my memories, and yes, he existed, our life existed.
  4. I meant to give you this article yesterday... https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2013/10/how-we-mourn-understanding-our.html I hope you get some justice for your mom!
  5. There is, but it took me years to process my husband's death (unexpected and way too young), years more to find purpose, and more years yet to build a life I could live again. I want to share an article with you that I wrote of the things I've found helpful over the years: TIPS TO MAKE YOUR WAY THROUGH GRIEF There's no way to sum up how to go on in a simple easy answer, but I encourage you to read the other threads here, little by little you will learn how to make your way through this. I do want to give you some pointers though, of some things I've learned on my journey. Tak
  6. I hope you can set aside some time every day for YOURSELF to study, review in preparation for your test. Your dad is not the only one that matters, you do too! Peggy told me on my way out the door yesterday that she wanted to wait until today to go pick up his ashes and death certificates so it looks like I'll be gone all day today again, getting exhausted and will be gone the next six days in a row, I find I need to be home every other day as it's exhausting to be on the go this much and I need time to cook, etc. I got my house cleaned except for the dusting but have to order a generli
  7. Thank you for sharing this entire post, very wonderful and I'm sure it's of immense help. I'm sorry you also lost your dog, I lost mine 13 months ago and I'll never be over him or stop loving him, he's in my heart each and every day and I miss my soulmate in a dog, Arlie. I, too, can relate to your post.
  8. I'm sorry your friends responded so inappropriately. People often don't know what to say or how to respond and come out with the most ludicrous things. I would respond, I appreciate your concern but that invalidates my valid feelings of grief. It will take time for me to process this and ALWAYS I will love my cat/s. I am so sorry for your loss and all you are going through with it. I think Marty's quote of the Serenity Prayer is good, I know it's sometimes easier said than done. I wish for you some justice and comfort ahead.
  9. Marg, my mom would give out her ss# to anyone who asked it, strangers no exception! I got called last night from a local number I don't recognize so I said, "What have you to do with me?!" and he answered (sounded from India) that he'd heard I had back pain and I told him he was full of it and hung up. I despise these liars, scammers! That they do this to old people infuriates me all the more, I keep thinking about people like my mom who didn't understand how the world worked and how hard it was for them to navigate with dementia onset. I still get the "Apple" calls, I don't have an A
  10. Beautiful picture of the lake, I love the autumn colors. I'm glad you made it through the day.
  11. James, I am sorry for your loss of your wife, 27 years is a long time. I understand the Autism part, one of my best friends is Jim, he has Asperger's and high social anxiety. That needn't exclude you from relationships, I think once people understand your situation, it helps them to understand you better. When I first met Jim, I found some of his responses odd, it puzzled me because sometimes he could say things without a filter and could come across insensitive, but once I understood him better, I didn't put that filter on him, I just knew he is him and it's okay, he's a very dear man
  12. Yes, I understand. I do hope the investigation brings some justice for your mom. Your dad is handling things differently than you, perhaps it's too hard for him to talk about right now but perhaps later on. My BIL passed away six days ago, he took care of my sister and now much of that is falling to me, I'm exhausted, so can only imagine how you feel. I did this for three years when I was younger, but am turning 68 in eight days and feeling it! Strength for today... Your mom didn't deserve any of this, I certainly don't know why things happen as they do, it shows there is no fairness
  13. I am so sorry for your loss. Marty has listed several good articles, I hope you will read them and take what they have to say to heart. Here is another one I like: http://www.pet-loss.net/guilt.shtml
  14. I never know what to say on someone's anniversary when their partner is dead, never knew how to face mine either, but know you are in my thoughts and prayers today.
  15. Thank you for this statement, I needed that reminder this morning. Been getting hateful emails from Rainer ever since I left a message on his phone letting him know of Bert's passing. He accused my son of beating on Arlie 12 years ago, no way! That infuriated me! Said I hung up on him then too, no, never happened. My son has the highest character of anyone I know, to say that is beyond despicable. Then he wrote "GOODBYE FOREVER!" I don't understand where all this hate is coming from. Not once did he ask how it went with Arlie or tell me sorry for your loss. It just reaffirms my decis
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