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Grief Healing Discussion Groups


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About kayc

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  • Birthday October 7

Previous Fields

  • Your relationship to the individual who died
  • Date of Death
    June 19, 2005
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    Eugene OR

Profile Information

  • Your gender
  • Location (city, state)
    Oakridge Oregon
  • Interests
    I lead a grief support group and I enjoy volunteering in my church (Treasurer & on Praise Team, choir) and the senior site, where I do the bingo prizes. I love stamping, hiking, nature, singing. I am a retired Office Mgr./Bkpr.

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  1. Hahahaha. Good question, I'm alone, on my own. I can get the bandages off with the duct tape idea, but still need someone to apply the Neosporin & bandages after I shower, so will have to go without them until I can get a neighbor or someone to apply them. Growing old alone isn't for wimps! It's been six days, usually it's a couple of weeks but could be 2 1/2 if they don't call before the weekend starts. I hate the waiting. meanwhile, snow will be piling up. They won't tell us anything, let alone make appts here. My age group was supposed to get them in two days, now i
  2. Marg, whatever the situation, know I am praying for you and I care. Sending you a big cyber hug, and I love the saying you posted, right on!
  3. That actually is in the Bible so it's an age old adage that bears some wisdom. We don't know what we don't know until we do, and the best we can do is yes, forgive ourselves and others, and take with it the positive learned so it can cease to be merely a regret but becomes a positive going forward. I am so sorry for all your grandma, and thus you, are going through. I've never known a harder time to go through something like this than right now. My heart goes out to you both. Did they say what her liver problem was? If it was Cirrhosis, you'd have to realize the cause. Half of Amer
  4. Absolutely! That's why I don't lay blame to the dumper, it is not someone's "fault" but fallout from grief. In my situation I was the dumpee by my fiance of a year, and he did it by FedEx to my job, I faced the humiliation of getting this information at WORK instead of the privacy of my own home, which seemed passive/aggressive to me. It's preferable to talk in person as this involves both of you but he was an Aspie and had a difficult time with confrontation/conflict. It was hard for me to understand why he'd let his XW and neighbors, friends help him during this time, but not me. Perhap
  5. Good for you! And to not have damage to kidneys, liver, BP controlled, EKG good, and bad cholesterol borderline, all that is great news and quite a feat! I agree about the crazoids. They are scary and some of them are unbalanced enough to do something violent.
  6. My daughter is suffering greatly with her "loss to breakup/divorce" and has been for years the way he's drug it out and Covid doesn't allow for it to just be over as they aren't processing divorces in court. She's been with him for 20 1/2 years and was very much in love with him, thought it'd be for life and he suddenly changed. We still can't wrap our heads around it. It's shattered her ability to trust, to believe in relationships. One can't be compared to another. With some breakups the anger fuels their moving forward but not in her case, she has a mixture of feelings, none of which a
  7. I have to mete out my showers now because no one to change bandages on my back, I can get them off with duct tape/ruler but can't put the Neosporin & bandages back on and no one here to do it. Prefer to save the hard stuff for if I have to have melanoma surgeries again, not for the scrapings, still waiting to hear from the doctor about the biopsies. Hoping NO! Sounds like you go through what I am with the ins. but to find out my doctor is not covered after all my precautions & their falsehoods?! I'm beyond angry with my ins. Probably what has my BS up. I don't even know how t
  8. @kanjay I also called mine my soulmate in a dog, it's been 1 1/2 years since he passed (cancer). Had she been sick? Was she old? I am so sorry for your loss. We can't do different what we don't know/realize. All of the what ifs we go through in our early grief are our way of trying to come up with a different possible outcome but there's only one and that's the one that happened. Your dog knew you loved her, just as my Arlie knew I love/d him. How could they not! You did not cause her death nor could you have prevented it, she may have been waiting for you before letting go, so no ma
  9. Yep! I've learned to do that too when the other is too cowardly to do so when they ended it. Don't look there, that's why no contact includes access to social media and "friends" reports!
  10. It still kills me that I lost Arlie. I've lost 24 dogs & cats but none were as bad as this one! He was my constant companion! And such a good boy! To me, there is no "healing" from it, only trying to live with it. And that's rough. I wish there were some way to wave a magic wand so we wouldn't hurt but I don't know of any. Same with our guys.
  11. Yep, like the lady screaming at me in Winco, totally nuts! It's scary! Gwen, I was totally deceived by Healthnet. Checked on covered doctors, Rxs, etc, now they tell me they won't cover her but never bothered to let ME or HER know? Trying to straighten out, another hour on the phone last night and now have to wait a few days, call and see if they did and if not (anyone want to lay wagers?) go through undesirable phone calls again... Found this on FB this morning:
  12. Gwen, I hope you're faring better with the phone calls today than I did. I called Healthnet and they said my doctor is NOT in network this year! After an hour's discussion (the person talked over the top of me and didn't listen), they contacted the doctor's office and said it was a mistake and hopefully will get corrected. No way of knowing if it was on their end or the doctor's, but I hope it DOES get straightened out! I do NOT wish to switch doctors and too late to switch ins. now. Makes me mad as I verified everything before renewing, I guess all that is for naught.
  13. Fortunately "religions" don't know everything, but I believe God knows and loves His creation at least as much as we do and can't imagine him not having them there...imo they make it first! And I hope your dog makes Arlie's acquaintance, he's very gentle.
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