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Grief Healing Discussion Groups


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About kayc

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  • Birthday October 7

Previous Fields

  • Your relationship to the individual who died
  • Date of Death
    June 19, 2005
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    Eugene OR

Profile Information

  • Your gender
  • Location (city, state)
    Oakridge Oregon
  • Interests
    I lead a grief support group and I enjoy volunteering in my church (Treasurer & on Praise Team, choir) and the senior site, where I do the bingo prizes. I love stamping, hiking, nature, singing. I am a retired Office Mgr./Bkpr.

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  1. Not really, it's part of his routine, I'd have to hire someone and things are tight financially. I've been taking him for play dates with the husky puppy down the street, Jazzy, and that gets a LOT of energy out of them both, a win-win for them and for me! I may try the Halti on him again, haven't for months, it was too big, but maybe since he's grown? IDK Dee, that heating pad sounds great, never heard of one like that! Good news! I switched doctors!!! Starting Monday I will be with the local clinic. I will switch insurance and pharmacies when open enrollment allows...I have a
  2. Not always, just sometimes, he cuddles with me on the couch before bedtime, I love it when he cuddles, but he doesn't every night, sometimes he moves to the other couch, I think he sees it as his. I got him started on the kennel because he was so young when I got him, not housebroke, chewing everything, and I frankly needed a break, I'm not young anymore! It's like watching a baby/toddler 24/7! Now we are more down to routine, he's been housebroke nearly a year, finally stopped chewing on MY stuff and limits it to HIS stuff, fortunately. I have rugs everywhere to protect what's left of my
  3. My little sister missed our dad's funeral, she had moved to TX and his funeral was the first day of her new job. She cried all day, they must have wondered what was wrong with her! But fortunately, she kept the job. I think it was real hard for her to not be able to be with the rest of us or view his body or say goodbye to him. I am so sorry you weren't able to go to her funeral. I hope you are able to connect with family by phone or zoom, and thus feel part of them as you're all going through this.
  4. Volunteering is wonderful! It's something positive we do for others but it benefits us the most! It's not merely a welcome distraction, but you won't be volunteering 24/7, your grief will still be with you. I've learned to coexist with my grief. I lost my husband nearly 16 years ago and not a day goes by but I think of him, it took me years to process my grief, years more to find purpose, years more yet to build a life I could live. Covid kind of blew that up but I am confident I'll build it back again when things have settled down. I learned to take one day at a time, and I do that stil
  5. I am so sorry for your loss. Loss of our mom involves not only loss of the person who raised us, our friend, the person we shared traits with, the person who taught us in life, but also our connection to our family history, the one who carried the torch, so to speak, and now it's passed on to us...it can all feel overwhelming. I lost my mom 6 1/2 years ago, lost my dad when I was young. All my adult life I focused on being there for her, listening to her, taking her to appointments, making sure I spent time with her. But now suddenly I wanted to talk with her and she was gone. Something c
  6. I am so sorry for your loss. My dad was an alcoholic too. We can feel love for them while not liking the parts of them that caused pain and anguish to us and our siblings. My dad was a weak man, my mom in control, my dad ineffectual, so I looked for men the opposite...ended up with a controller for 23 years! Nope, not good either! Learned from it, sometimes we go completely the opposite from our bad experience, but then learn to find something more aligned with what we truly need, honoring ourselves. I miss my dad, the good parts of him. Not the dad that stood me up for the father-d
  7. No kidding! That's what I hated the worst about that snowpocalypse two years ago, being all alone and hearing all the trees crashing down all around me, pitch black...
  8. It's been snowing and hailing all day, finally quit, electricity on & off. I know how to hook up my generator but don't have the strength to run the 60' heavy duty cable to the meter box, my neighbor said he'd do it if/when the power goes out for long duration. I start up my generator once a week and let it run so the battery doesn't go dead and also so it comes natural to start it up when I need it. Debating whether to take Kodie for a play date today as it's so cold & windy! It won't daunt him, I might have to wear thermals under my jeans! Freezers that are full of food
  9. Still not over this. Am going to look into new doctor, new insurance, new pharmacy. After what I've been through, I feel it's high time! May not be able to switch insurance until next year, but put a call in to the local agent, waiting to hear back. Called the local clinic and need to pick up a packet from them but right now it's snowing hard and very windy, so may wait until next week sometimes to go pick it up. Once I get new insurance then I can switch pharmacies, can't come too soon for my liking! My Arlie dog had Colitis, so did my granddoggy that lived with me for 3 1/2 years,
  10. I don't see myself that way, I'm not able to do a fraction of what I used to and live with pain, hands, knees, and now throat/tongue/mouth, I HOPE it goes away...SOON! I hurt my back yesterday so was down with the heating pad. Still have to get wood in, load the fire, walk Kodie, etc. so don't have the luxury of staying down, remember when our husbands used to take care of us when we were out of commission? It seems a million years ago when I had someone who cared for me. Making those phone calls is the worst, I hate straightening out medical stuff especially! Right now it's snowing
  11. @DaisyMinniI am so sorry to hear of your loss, esp. to something so sudden it sends you reeling. It takes time to process our grief, and much time to adjust to the changes it means to our lives. Your mother will live on in your heart and as we carry with us the things they taught us in our lives. Again, I am so sorry! https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2014/08/grief-understanding-process.html https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2013/02/parent-loss-continuing-their-song.html https://healthmatters.nyp.org/how-to-cope-with-grief-amid-covid-19/ https://www.funeralservicefoundation.org/grief-book
  12. Yes, I've studied it, we had a class on it in high school plus a church I was in did a study of different denominational beliefs, it was interesting. I have been learning about it all my life. Christianity is not something you are born into with your family, but rather a decision you take to accept Jesus as your personal savior. There are a LOT of churchgoers who consider themselves "Christian" but are not. It's not necessarily that they're deceptive but rather that they don't understand. The difference between Nazarene (I went there nine years growing up and 23 years as an adult) and Bap
  13. They're predicting over a foot of snow the next couple of days, but the same site predicts only a couple of inches depending on zone forecast or my latitude/longitude. So we'll see, so far nothing. I hope to God it's not more than a couple of inches a day! I hate the shoveling, I didn't mind so much before I damaged my knee and my hands went kaput. I'm getting old.
  14. As a kid we're more agile and rebound from falling a lot easier! When I fell last time (a month ago?) there was no stopping it, my great-traction boots hit that ice and whoosh! Down I went, hard! My doctor doesn't give out painkillers either. Gwen, we walk our dogs without masks here but respect others with the masks/distancing whenever we go somewhere. At least my neighbors and I get to smile at each other and talk from a distance. It helps! I, too, love the Pacific Northwest, to me it is the most beautiful place in the world! We have ocean, dessert, valley, flatland, mount
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