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kayc

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About kayc

Profile Information

  • Your gender
    Female
  • Location (city, state)
    Oakridge Oregon
  • Interests
    I lead a grief support group and I enjoy volunteering in my church (Treasurer & on Praise Team, choir) and the senior site, where I do the bingo prizes. I love stamping, hiking, nature, singing. I am a retired Office Mgr./Bkpr.

Previous Fields

  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    spouse
  • Date of Death
    June 19, 2005
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    Eugene OR

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  1. You are heavily grieving relationship so I advise strongly against turning to alcohol in it. It further depresses you. We can't go through life very well numb. I'm sorry you're hurting so bad. It helps to understand the science of our body. Sodas cause depression & anxiety too, not helpful. What we eat and do does make a difference in how we're able to handle things and cope, to give yourself the best possible chance at coping to the best of your ability, take care of yourself, get some exercise to release endorphins and give yourself optimal chance at getting through this with quality of life. Nothing good seems to happen instantly but in our society we're not taught patience. Prayer/meditations help too.
  2. I did that this year, insurance too, it was way more work than I'd imagined! I spent about a month at this, full time, unbelievable! It also meant change of pharmacies. I'm glad you get to see him even if only for a bit. I got to talk to my son on the phone for an hour the other night, it was an extremely rare treat, hadn't done that since Covid hit. Yesterday I got the laugh of my life...I'd told him I'd lost so much strength that I couldn't plunge my toilet. He laughed and said, "And that's not something you want to ask of your neighbors!" Yesterday I got a new plunger in the mail....accordian style, easy...I didn't wonder where it came from. Small interactions like this make our day, more than they could realize. Dee, I just think you're one strong cookie! And I understand vision problems, my eyes are complicated...STILL waiting on my glasses that I ordered June 18, the lab keeps screwing them up. I was NOT happy the third time!
  3. Wow, I lived in Phoenix a few months, moved back to OR because I missed the mountains and trees and our bodies of water, coast, did NOT like the stifling heat! And the hard water there was hard on my system. I do remember once when it rained, everyone went running outside and danced in the rain! No one gets so excited about it here but the last few summers here it never rains...if it did, maybe we'd dance in it too! Esp. since we're always in drought and threat of fires in the summer now, never used to.
  4. I hope I die shortly after Kodie, I've lost 24 dogs and cats, it's very painful with each one, Arlie was the hardest.
  5. OMG, this sounds the most tragic situation ever heard of, I am so sorry for your pain! Marty responded well to you so nothing to add here except my deepest sympathy.
  6. It will be! Thanks for sharing!
  7. That is true. No one to do anything with, alone, always alone. Dee, I can't imagine. I know someday I'll likely have to do this, hoping I die first.
  8. I notice several posts from a couple of days ago are just now showing up this morning! I check every day but they weren't there. Wow, Karen! And in July! Will be 90s here today.
  9. Oh no, I'm so sorry, Dee, another loss. I know you'll miss your granddoggy, I still miss mine and it's been almost eight years. My glasses got screwed up for the third time yesterday, I finally blew. The gal called me back and said "What do you expect me to do?" I told her, "Apologize instead of excusing, for a start." This cost me a 120 mile round trip needlessly, and 1 1/2 months after they got paid I still don't have my glasses. Took Peggy dinner again. How do you not feel anger when someone has done NOTHING their entire life and that makes them YOUR emergency now? I care about her but I'm angry too. Julie begged off mighty quick when she discovered Peggy's condition, and she doesn't know the half of it. While she's off having lunch with her friends, it's me, at the end of the day, taking her on long treks to the doctor, an all day job. Alvin, it's good that you have that creative outlet! To actually feel productive! I wish you well with your writing. I think Kodie would like Mel's diet too! Shh...don't tell him what SHE gets to eat! He's a mooch.
  10. So long as YOU understand that grief is not weakness...in fact it's anything but! It takes a lot of strength and effort to grieve. I hope she can realize we are unique in how we handle things, so she cannot judge you for grieving...also it is YOUR relationship to grieve as you need to! I'm glad you have a counselor and that you talked with your kids. Writing a letter is a good idea, I have a "Letters to George" file in my computer, it's helped me over the years (my husband that I lost 16 years ago). It sounds as if she's judged your dad and not considered him worthy of grieving, but people are multi-faceted, and we can feel differing feelings about them at the same time, all of them valid! That is often the case as we're human and not perfect.
  11. When you enter a group you stay there on their site unless you leave by clicking on a notification or other way of leaving it.
  12. She's so beautiful, I know you miss her. Just like I miss Arlie. It's pain inside my heart.
  13. Exactly! That's why I think growing old alone can complicate our grief. The pain and limitations narrow our world. I go to my grief groups & diabetic group every day, I take Kodie to his play date every day, I talk to my sister every day. I walk every day. I visit my neighbor across the street every week. Having this routine helped me during the pandemic of social isolation. None of my neighbors wears masks unless going to the store or doctor, but none of us go anywhere much. I go to church every week, it's small, it provides PPE but doesn't police people with it either, we have a lot of people with breathing issues. I've literally prayed no one gets it! What a year...and more.
  14. FB is like a t.v., it's a tool and whether it's good or bad depends upon how one uses it. Varies greatly depending on your friends and what groups you go to. Usually people recommend groups or FB does depending on what pages you view or what you look at. Trackers everywhere we go, FB is no different!
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