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Grief Healing Discussion Groups


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About kayc

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  • Birthday October 7

Previous Fields

  • Your relationship to the individual who died
  • Date of Death
    June 19, 2005
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    Eugene OR

Profile Information

  • Your gender
  • Location (city, state)
    Oakridge Oregon
  • Interests
    I lead a grief support group and I enjoy volunteering in my church (Treasurer & on Praise Team, choir) and the senior site, where I do the bingo prizes. I love stamping, hiking, nature, singing. I am a retired Office Mgr./Bkpr.

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  1. Well I can only say, GOOD FOR YOU! It's your hard work paying off! Good luck with the roofing...
  2. I would hate taking something that increased my anxiety! I don't need any more! None of us do. I hope you get some respite. I haven't noticed side effects from stopping my inhaler. Would that be weird, to learn I've taken something for 16 years (and very expensive!) that I didn't need! Now to get the COPD out of my records, I believe it's erroneous as I haven't seen any sign of it and no one discussed it with me and when I confronted my former doctor about it being in there, she said Asthma was under that category...my new doctor nixed that. Not 100% positive of the Asthma either, I
  3. I hear you. Today I was looking to give Jazzy the toys that Kodie never plays with as they're too big/strong for him...they were my sweet Arlie's. Not sure I'm ready. I agree. I just felt it was so far over-reaching! I wish people would think about the effect of their words before speaking them. I mean, she's just three years younger than me, how would she like it if her husband died and everyone suddenly felt they had a right to tell her what to do and muddle in HER business! Not well appreciated, I can assure you. Next time I will say, "None of your business" or "Not open for
  4. OMG, this is a lot at once! There is no judging your dad, he is beyond capable of being in his right mind or making decisions. It sounds like perhaps he was looking for bed sheets/blankets and maybe looked under the bed and then couldn't get back up? He's confused, his brain not working right. Of course he's given up, what incentive does he have to fight, he can't make thinking decisions with you in mind, he can't even make thinking decisions for himself. In his right mind, he would not want this, but he's not in his right mind, hasn't been for a long time. I'd start by finding a job
  5. @Alisa, I almost missed your post sandwiched into this thread, but am glad I saw/read it. I will be blunt, as an outsider looking in, it seems clear to me that he is at best, immature & a user, at worst, possibly a narcissist. Either way, not relationship material. You gave and gave and gave and gave to the point of it being unhealthy for you. What did he give in return? Not much! That he broke off with you and then wanted you to do his taxes?!!! NO!!! No more. Let him go. Your life is better off. One thing that really concerns me, and I speak of myself when I was younger
  6. This is a common grief response, we go through all of the "what ifs" in an effort to find a different possible outcome, only to find that there is none but the one that happened. What ifs are our way of trying to find a solution to something that really has none. At least none we find palatable.
  7. And right now you are going through no less. Forgive yourself. All we can do is learn from our new experiences. You are grieving the loss of his companionship, your relationship, your friendship with him! Yes, he is going through much, but that doesn't detract from what he's putting you through in the least. You are BOTH suffering, there is no comparison between grief/loss, only caring...and you do care. We have to make our own closure in absence of their giving us one. Usually they do not give nice neat closure when they leave a relationship (or with death either, for that matter!)
  8. I am so sorry for your loss. My last dog had acute chronic colitis and I had to cook for him his whole life. I had people tout raw food to me too but no way could he tolerate it, it took me trial and error to find what worked and I stuck to that, his veterinary was no earthly help. I searched on line and talked to others going through digestive issues with their dog. But in the end, cancer got him, the vet didn't catch it in time to treat it, he even got a clean bill of health at his exam two weeks prior to diagnosis. I go to a different vet now with my puppy. To me, if anyone let hi
  9. Maybe it's helped your BS! Would not want to do that long term though! I hope you can soon rest! Glad your cat loves it there! I wish you many happy years there!
  10. No, trust me, you do NOT have dementia! I have a family it runs in, you do not exhibit it. Forgetfulness is normal as we age and all the more so under stress!
  11. I'm concerned my new doctor won't be able to keep up with this town's needs now that the other clinic in town closed. Sigh. But I remember when I worked for a doctor here and our vicinity was double the size it is now, we had two doctors, a PA, a FT lab technician, FT nurse and PT nurses, as well as Bkpr/Office Mgr (me) and a receptionist. We kept up just fine. But those were the days when we worked late, whenever need, at no extra pay, they did surgeries, handled emergencies, delivered babies! When someone broke a bone, they x-rayed it, cast it, gave them their therapy, no going to six d
  12. I have always had strong faith, long as I remember. I wasn't raised that way as my parents were atheists when I was growing up, but this was a faith all my own. They changed later on in life. But I've had two NDEs although I think of them more as deaths and a choice/decision to stay...I went through the out of body, seeing below to what was going on with my body, etc. It is not what shaped my faith, however, but merely confirmation of what I already believe. I know there is something more than this, something unexplainable, and not everything that "is" needs to be explained away or unders
  13. @Missmirr I am so sorry you find yourself going through this, when it happened to me, it completely blindsided me! We were engaged for a year when suddenly his mom was dying and he broke up with me by FedEx, without the benefit of a discussion. I want you to know that you did NOT fail him or do anything wrong! This is about HIM, not you, and it's a classic grief response for some. I've since figured I would want someone to go through thick and thin with me in life, not break up when things got hard (as they do for all of us) or when they suffered loss (as we all do eventually). The
  14. I am so sorry for the loss of your companion, the hardest thing in the world we ever have to do, be it human or furry. I lost my "soulmate in a dog," Arlie, 8/16/19, that date forever etched into me as the one where my world went from color to black and white. It's amazing the joy they bring into our lives. I am so sorry she had to suffer...that any of them ever had to (mine had inoperable cancer and his liver had shut down). I agree with you that euthanasia, under the circumstances, is the kindest option, but never easy, by any means. Hoping this short video brings you some pe
  15. I understand. I would not want my husband with me either if it meant undue suffering. But the day he died is the day his suffering ended and mine began. Although there are varying degrees of sexual assault, knowing there are worse degrees does not lessen in any way what you experienced. Wrong is wrong. I hope you get some justice. I understood that your lawsuit was against the employer, not the man. You're a better woman than I am, I reckon, because I still think your number one concern should be for yourself, not for him. He did wrong and if he has consequences, he earned them. I
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