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About kayc

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  • Birthday October 7

Previous Fields

  • Your relationship to the individual who died
  • Date of Death
    June 19, 2005
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    Eugene OR

Profile Information

  • Your gender
  • Location (city, state)
    Oakridge Oregon
  • Interests
    I lead a grief support group and I enjoy volunteering in my church (Treasurer & on Praise Team, choir) and the senior site, where I do the bingo prizes. I love stamping, hiking, nature, singing. I am a retired Office Mgr./Bkpr.

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  1. I hope and pray your day goes well for you...I know it's hard being away from them on their day, but I like to think they've been able to pop in through their spirit, at any rate, they know we love them and are thinking of them...as always!
  2. kayc

    Living with Loss

    Thursday eve. I went to one of those high pitched sales things that sells scents, diffusers, pills, etc. Starting kit $780, up to $1500, yeah right. Cheapest thing was $57, I passed. But I did learn something, I can give my dog Milk Thistle and SAMe for his liver! I take them both myself and checked the ingredients on line, they're both okay. I started him on the Milk Thistle yesterday and if he does okay will add the SAMe in a week. (Never start on two products at the same time, if something's wrong, you won't know which one it is). It'd be great if that would help, plus the SAMe is also good for mood elevation and joints as well as anxiety. So happy to discover this!
  3. Yes. I had a cat also named George (before I met him) so we dubbed the cat King George to differentiate. He passed 14 months after my husband, he was 19 years old.
  4. I know there is nothing I can say that will make you feel better, you are bereft, I get that. I would be too. I'm having a hard enough time dealing with my dog's impending demise, just knowing it will happen. One thing you need never worry about...you will never forget Parker. Not any part of him. It's been 14 years since my husband died, I haven't forgotten anything. I think about him each and every day of my life. Never forgotten. Today is his birthday.
  5. BTW, your dog is so cute! Very cute face! My dog has anxiety too and I appreciate it when vets work with him, taking the extra time to calm him and get to know him. I think they forget that from a dog's point of view, they have no idea who they are or why they're shoving something up their butt! And they're the first to complain if your dog growls a warning! I've often told them if a stranger suddenly shoved something up my butt, I'd growl too! That's their cue to turn and look stupid at you. Honestly, do they know anything about animals? You've gotta wonder sometimes. I had one vet who would get down on the floor with Arlie and look at him on his level, give him a treat, a belly rub, then listen to his heart, he was totally cooperative with her!
  6. I also have a positive. This weekend I went to my son's and got to see my son and daughter and grandkids (DIL was gone for the weekend so I was able to look after the kids while my son worked on my daughter's car.) Have to brag on my son, he's the best brother to his sister! Her car was broken into and her cleaning supplies for her business stolen...He cleaned all the glass out, replaced her window, rotated her tires, replaced her brakes, checked her rotors and calipers, AND installed a stereo and backup camera as a surprise for her! He restores her belief that there really are good people in this world. My grandson calls me Bocka and even said "I love you" to me, as plain as can be! He just started talking recently and he is saying everything! I had the best interaction with him I've ever had. And of course my granddaughter keeps me hopping, she loves drama, singing, dancing. I can see her in theater when she's older! Arlie ate well the three mornings this week, which is a positive. I've managed to coax him to eat all his food but there will come a day that won't work. Every day with him is a good day.
  7. Wow, I only wish I could have 30 years with Arlie. Alas, with his Colitis and Cancer, it's not to be, if ever a dog were deserving, it is him. Yeah, feather indeed!
  8. Today is the most beautiful of all...it is the day you were born. Without it I never would have met you, never would have learned so much, never would have had my life enriched so! You were God's blessing to me, the most beautiful gift, the gift of love and understanding and acceptance. I can't even put into words all that you mean to me, but I thank you. I don't know if they celebrate birthdays in heaven or if they even keep track of time since it's but a moment in eternity, but if they do, I hope the angels are dishing you out a big piece of birthday cake, icing and all, for finally sugar can't hurt you. I miss camping with you, for that's what you always wanted to do on your birthday, but maybe you've found a spot by the river somewhere, and maybe just maybe you're even thinking about me...telling me to come to you when I can. I'll be there, George, I'll be there. I love you. Happy Birthday!
  9. I didn't know what Shalom meant, thank you for telling us. Shalom, George, I am glad you and your father have perfect peace. My heart is with you.
  10. In reading your posts here, George and Marg, and my own, I realize that coming to terms with their death is a process. We might start out saying "No!" but we have to remember we didn't have but a moment in time to even digest it! We absolutely do need to be understanding and forgiving of ourselves if we feel we didn't respond as perfectly as we could have. Remember to throw the "shoulds" away! This is a process that takes oh so much more time than merely a moment. it takes a lifetime.
  11. Johnny, That's how it was for us too...Arlie was a rescue and when I saw his picture in the paper, I had to have him! I called and told them I'd come get him after work. They gave him to someone else and didn't even call and let me know. I got over there and the other people never showed up or called. His smile was infectious! I wanted him so bad! They called the other people and they'd changed their mind. I wasn't taking any chances on them doing that again, so I took him home with me right then. I later found out they were wrong about his age, weight, health, and he wasn't housebroken. Never mind, I had my baby. He's the smartest dog I've ever had and utterly delightful! My son is right, God had to give him an extra large body to fit all his personality into. It's been a beautiful journey and I've received more from him than I could ever pay back. He is my heartsong, my little boy. He got up to 140 but is at 106 right now. I don't want him to lose any more weight but alas with his condition, he's likely to do just that.
  12. Marg, I think that it is natural we want them to stay. It was the same with us. He was having a heart attack, they were working on him (in the hospital) and I could tell he was going, I cried out "Hang in there!" and he shook his head no. Again I cried out, again he shook his head. Had they let me stay I would have told him it was okay, and reassured him I would be okay to relieve his mind and let him go, but I never got that option, the nurse shoved me out the door and locked it behind me. I couldn't even get on the ward. I've always felt angry about that, she had no right. I wish I could have stood next to his head and reassured him, been with him when he went to his other place. Instead I too have beat myself up, wondered if he felt I deserted him. I don't know how conscious he was of what was going on in there, did he realize I didn't leave of my own accord? He was in so much pain, his eyes were bugging out. I only hope he hears my heart's cry now and KNOWS I would never leave him willingly, I wanted only to be by his side through everything. Damn this is hard!
  13. Not one vet ever mentioned anything about Arlie's tumor, it was about the size of a 50 cent piece and in his gummy area, so many organs intersect there, several vets have charged us for exams, doesn't seem they earned it. But at this point my focus is Arlie, not the vets. It's in giving him the best quality time that he has left and letting him go peacefully when that can no longer be achieved.
  14. kayc

    Living with Loss

    That's one thing I've learned in going through grief, right here! When we've lost the person who would have been that to us, it's important to learn to be that to ourselves. Self-care, so important. Sometimes that's eating right, sleeping enough, etc. but sometimes it's standing up for ourselves and who we allow in and who we don't.
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