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Everything posted by kayc

  1. I had a very hard day yesterday, had to work at the church all day making the changes for payroll/taxes since the secretary decided to cut her hours. Since we don't have a payroll module, it's a tremendous amount of work (manually) with a LOT or brain work! Took hours and hours. Got it done, also had her clean out the files. All I have left are the budget meeting, showing her how to enter the new budget in, and I think I'll let my successors write the letters to the bank to add her on and take me off. Need her to sign up for the insurance contact too, will be due next month. We'll have t
  2. This gave me a laugh another I read your next sentence. Baptists are kind of stuck in their ways, I've noticed, that's one thing that's driven me nuts. But I don't think Baptists are any different than anyone else in their ability to sin...no human is any different...some better, some worse but unfortunately bad seeds in any large group. It definitely is NOT in their "belief system" but the problem lies with pretenders, lipsayers, not those who earnestly strive to please God and live for them. I've seen them in all denominations and outside of church as well. I've told you all about my
  3. Beautifully put!!! Kieron, the emoticon didn't display here, not sure if others can see it. I think I expressed my vehemence pretty strongly w/o swearing in my response with Missy, I can't believe the things people say, I'm so sorry she experienced that and wish I could have a word with them!!! I feel protective of grievers, knowing all too well how it feels.
  4. Gwen, you DO have purpose, HERE! I, for one, appreciate you! And you too, Nash! We have our own little support group right here, not only for loss of spouse, but with our daily lives/struggles. We CARE about each other! And it's not like our everyday stuff isn't connected to our loss/grief because we all know how different it would be if THEY were still here! Gwen, I'm sorry you have another day ahead of you of struggle to sort things out...I hate stuff like that and unfortunately, that seems to be our world, now. Peggy and I were just talking about that last night.
  5. Here's another article that might be of help: http://www.griefhealing.com/column-helping-another-in-grief.htm Your feelings are totally "normal" in grief.
  6. I'm glad you are able to express all of this, but you like most of us, wish so much we could change what happened, but we can't. I pray you'll forgive yourself and realize she has already. We are human and don't have the benefit of hindsight ahead of time. (((hugs))) http://media.wix.com/ugd/0dd4a5_e934e7f92d104d31bcb334d6c6d63974.pdfhttps://www.pet-loss.net/guilt.shtmlhttp://www.griefhealing.com/article-loss-and-the-burden-of-guilt.htm https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2019/08/pet-loss-when-guilt-overshadows-grief.html https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2017/07/pet-loss-when-guil
  7. It's not horrible and I hope you can let go of the guilt. We NEED our sleep! If we don't take care of ourselves we can't properly be there for THEM! The same is true for children. I had to learn this early on in life and it is NOT selfish, it's a requirement. My Kodie sleeps in a crate in a back bedroom. During the daytime he has free run of the house, but I NEED my sleep to function! He doesn't have a problem with it, although sometimes I wish I could sleep with him, maybe someday when he's past the puppy stage.
  8. I hear you. It's not as bad for me as the very beginning (it's been 1 1/2 years) but I DO love and miss him each and every day! He is in my thoughts a lot. Getting Kodie helped in that he keeps me company but as we all know, animals don't replace another, they create their own spot in your heart, they are so uniquely different! I love the things Kodie brings to the table, but I'm afraid they broke the mold on Arlie, I will never have a dog like him again with his advanced communication (Husky talk), gentleness, goofiness, devotion, amazing watchdog, loyal, so careful not to pull on me (did
  9. Is there a memory card in it? They used to have those, not sure if all do still, don't know how that works. I know my son can do most anything but getting a minute of his time/attention is the hard part. He's always busy, day/night. I try not to bother him anymore. But I sure do miss him. I miss both of my kids. Exactly. When they have backgrounds we don't know about, all we can do is speculate. Arlie had separation anxiety. He did not appear to have ever been in a house or car when I got him. He was starving when the dog catcher picked him up, he gained 16 lbs in the
  10. I agree. We all hate that early grief, nothing fun/good about it, but I hope you can see that it does evolve into something we can better carry with us later on as we process our grief. It doesn't seem real or possible, but honestly, the beginning was truly horrific to me! I am living all these years later but other things have affected HOW my life has gone, combine health/Covid isolation/getting older/missing the one I wish was still here AND my Arlie dog, all combine to make this not as smooth a journey for the time being as in some times in the past or as others are doing...but I'm afrai
  11. We have Oakridge Chat on FB that lets us pass on info relevant to our community and helpful for that. Tried Neighborhood group but it never took off here. The chat does the same thing more effectively. I do the same with Dish Network, pretty similar. I can't always watch the news when it comes on as sometimes that's when someone calls but I find recording/fast forwarding/deleting has the same purpose. So important to mete out a balance between being informed and protecting ourselves from over-saturation of all of this bad news. I don't need the constant daily Covid statistics in every ar
  12. Oh Hon, I am so sorry! Your gpa was more like a dad to you so of course this is hitting hard! And it's horrible in these Covid times that people don't get to say goodbye, don't get to show support for them when they're dying. It's beyond words to describe. My BIL had stomach cancer and died 5 days after discovering it metastasized, no time to process it. My sister and him were married 50 years and he was more like a brother to me, living only about 10 miles away. We were always there for each other. She sold his business since she's disabled and can't run it. The following week
  13. There are some situations and OTHER people's choices that dictate outcomes, I think that is the case with your situation. I don't think your devotion or your letting go affected the outcome in this situation so much as HER choices/way of handling her grief & relationship. Sometimes our hands are tied and all we can do is recognize that and do what we can to help our healing. To have false hope and continue with that will not help our situation any.
  14. I am so sorry for your loss as well. As Agemgem said, it helps to come here and read/post, we want to be here for you. One of the hardest things we can go through in my estimation.
  15. Janice, thank you, I do wish you peace and consolation going forward. The good memories that bring you pain right now will bring you a smile someday.
  16. I didn't want to take my tree down, Kevin, but I did about a week ago. My hands really suffered for it but I got it done. Today I will be picking up branches from the storm we had last night.
  17. We had power outages all over the state last night, I got woke up at 2 am with it coming back on. don't know how long it was out. Gwen, I do understand what you mean, it's like life went from living color to black and white, greys. We get by, we survive as best as we can, we handle the decision making on our own, but their spark is gone, the energy of connecting with them, they brought zest into our lives, love, and caring...and it's been so long since I've felt that...
  18. Oh yes! Been wanting to all year! It all overuses my hands and brain. I've been training Kelley to take over since Sept. 1st, hopefully will be done the end of January. Still have to show her how to handle the salary changes, enter the budget (that's easy at least), clean out the files for the last two years and where to put them (in the attic with no light). Hopefully nothing more! The vet only comes here on Wed. but THAT is the vet that caused my fall 3 1/2 years ago and instead of taking responsibility put a private detective on me and tried to blame it on Arlie! I had 11 witness
  19. My sister called me yesterday, I was scared to answer but did. She acted like nothing happened, all chipper and upbeat! I thought, "Is she Bipolar or something?" I know she has off the charts anger issues, but wow! I feel like I was just there at the wrong time and caught it. I get those all the time on FB, as long as they don't post on my wall, I'm cool, I can ignore them, but my cousin used to post them to my wall all the time and I did NOT appreciate his lack of respect for me and our differences. I'd told him not to, still did it, so I blocked him...his sister blocked him too,
  20. Your post is showing up as a quote from me, but isn't, that had me confused! I can't Skype here. May be limited with internet & cellphone service here but the trade offs are worth it to me, being in the country around nature/animals, and not only such beautiful surroundings but everything a wee bit more slowed down and caring neighbors. More like things USED to be! Yeah, I don't see any excuse why our government seems to have dropped the ball on working this last year. Went through a nightmare trying to do the church' year end forms, soc. sec. would not let me on to file the W
  21. I find a balance between fate and free will...I do believe that the choices we make affect our lives. But I believe I was fated to meet my husband, George. I believe some of the things I've gone through with other relationships were life lessons, I used them to learn something from and find some purpose in therefore, but that is a choice on my part, not everyone does learn.
  22. That sounds like a great idea! Yes, like keeping her with you.
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