Jump to content
Grief Healing Discussion Groups


  • Content Count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

Everything posted by kayc

  1. I never know what to say on someone's anniversary when their partner is dead, never knew how to face mine either, but know you are in my thoughts and prayers today.
  2. Thank you for this statement, I needed that reminder this morning. Been getting hateful emails from Rainer ever since I left a message on his phone letting him know of Bert's passing. He accused my son of beating on Arlie 12 years ago, no way! That infuriated me! Said I hung up on him then too, no, never happened. My son has the highest character of anyone I know, to say that is beyond despicable. Then he wrote "GOODBYE FOREVER!" I don't understand where all this hate is coming from. Not once did he ask how it went with Arlie or tell me sorry for your loss. It just reaffirms my decis
  3. Tamera, I'm afraid the others are right, no one can say when, it depends on many factors, but it does take much time to process this. I lost my dog over a year ago and still haven't reached the place where I can smile at memories, sometimes maybe but not always, it creates a wistful longing inside of me. I think it's common to feel a mixture eventually, we love and miss our loved ones and long for them, and that hurts, but we can sometimes smile at fond memories or feel blessed for having had them in our lives for the time we did. I sure wasn't up to smiling in the beginning months though!
  4. Sandi, I am so so sorry to hear this, your pain is tremendous. It's all so wrong! I'm wondering if you won't consider suing them when you're more ready, I know it'd be hard, but honestly, these people shouldn't be in practice. Your number one priority necessitates your getting help for yourself though, and I hope you'll do that, as Marty suggested. So different from my mom's death, who was ready and in her 90s. I''m sorry for you and your sister and your dad.
  5. They have no kids and she isn't putting her best friend on for the same reasoning as I feel unqualified. She's going to ask a much younger friend that she trusts. They have no children. I have my son as mine but he's super smart and gets things done! They say to ask the busiest person... Oh Kieron, it's hard to believe you'd have a hard time making friends, I'd be your friend in a heartbeat! I read an article on it once that was really good, talked about how sometimes people are friends for a season and when it's time to let it go. Very helpful. I let this person go for multiple re
  6. He passed on Wednesday morning, we ordered cremation and I'm having my neighbor make a special wooden box for him. Peggy is doing as well as can be expected, she hasn't lived alone and she's very disabled but she's proven herself very capable this week. My heart goes out to her as I know what it's like, it's such a shock as it went so fast. It's sent my blood sugar up to 149 this week, the highest it's been in nine months, but today it's back down to 101. I'm having to work at de-stressing. POA is as simple as filling out a form and having a notary witness/sign it. I used to have
  7. I agree with JayJay, but I know that doesn't change your feeling as you do. This is just one of the toughest things to get through. No matter how it goes down, we seem to be masters at beating ourselves up in our grief, it's a process letting go of that. http://www.pet-loss.net/guilt.shtml http://www.griefhealing.com/article-loss-and-the-burden-of-guilt.htm http://media.wix.com/ugd/0dd4a5_e934e7f92d104d31bcb334d6c6d63974.pdf
  8. I never hear from Katie anymore. She's changed her email address so I got my message returned. Funny you mention that as I'd just run across messages with Butch yesterday when I was looking for something.
  9. He passed away Wednesday. She didn't ask me 25 years ago when she set it up, I'd remember. Besides things change, they sure have for me! She says she doesn't trust our brother because of how he handled our mom's estate. That he "stole from it." I told her he didn't "steal" anything, our mom left everything to him! That doesn't make him dishonest. None of us chose to contest it, so let it go already! I can't make it my issue though, but here my BS is up again today 128. Those are good questions for your doctor, Gwen, I hope you get a response soon. Your posting about these
  10. Wow, all of the posts here I can relate to! Dee, I'm sorry yesterday was so hard! Gwen, and you had another trying day! I'm sorry. I just found out my sister put me on as executor of her estate and I do not feel qualified or up to it at all, she's leaving everything to her 9 nieces/nephews, I'm going to suggest our brother do this as 1) he's done it before, 2) he's the youngest and still has an intact brain, 3) he has help 4) Five of the nieces/nephews are his kids who stand to benefit. 5) It's stressing me out and my BS was 130 this morning, the highest it's been in nine months in s
  11. He can obtain some through the obamacare, government health plan, they'll walk him through it and let him know how much it is over the phone. He needn't wait for open enrollment as losing one's health insurance qualifies as a "life event." https://www.healthcare.gov/coverage-outside-open-enrollment/special-enrollment-period/
  12. I am so sorry for your loss! 21 is a long life, but whenever they leave, it's never long enough. (((hugs))) Hoping this brings you some comfort...
  13. I am so sorry! This was an accident, you had no idea, that doesn't make you a bad person. A bad person is someone who intentionally harms an animal. I know I can't talk you out of your feelings though, but I hope you'll read these articles and please know you are not the only one who lost their animal through an accident. I lost my dog many years ago and I feel responsible because I should not have left the back end of the van open, he'd never snuck into it before...I drove to work, left it closed up on a hot day and when I opened the door that night he rolled out into my arms, stiff as a
  14. I am so sorry to hear this Marg! COVID changed so much in how we grieve. We aren't having services for Bert but at some point I'd like for my siblings to get together and share stories, memories of him. I think it'd help Peggy. She didn't even get to view his body.
  15. Good, I'm glad you're setting your sights high and know your own value! You'll be okay.
  16. My BIL Bert passed away this morning. I told Peggy I'd cover his cremation and my sister is going to provide her with a medic alert button. We'll go in and sign the paperwork when they're ready.
  17. Gwen, your day sounds like MY yesterday only on steroids! I'm sorry you had such a hard day, I hate days like that where everything is an uphill battle. I tried placing an order with Walmart on line last night as I have my disabled sister with me when I go to town today so don't want to stop there...it said deliver when I put it in my cart then changed it to me picking it up, which I can't and I''m too far away to come back, kind of defeats the purpose of on line ordering, don't ya think? Tried calling them, got their blasted voice crap that made me want to go ballistic, got hung up on twic
  18. Thinking of you and I'm glad you give yourself the gift of reflection on these momentous occasions. As trying as these times are, they don't interfere with our love and our grief.
  19. Marty put so simply what I was trying to say in a long round-about way! The neighbor's chow gave me my "fix" without having to make such a permanent decision. I love him but am sure glad I didn't adopt him when she offered it because I don't want to be responsible for an animal that won't let me take care of them w/o biting!
  20. She can be but I love her immensely and we're extremely close! I don't know what I'll do when she goes, we talk every day on the phone, we tell each other everything. She's very caring, she just doesn't take care of herself. And of course she has her addictions, which cost me having that last conversation with George before he died as she refused to bring me to him in the hospital because she wanted to stay and gamble (which I don't do, never have).
  21. Yes that is it, and I do have it saved, just couldn't remember what under! Thank you!
  22. I totally sympathize with your pain! I was just as dumbfounded by why my ex could be with his XW, neighbors, friends, but not want me around for support? It'd be easier if we had some decent explanation but to just come out of nowhere and blindside us, that's tough. I only know we can and need to make our own closure and move on with our lives in absence of them. I think you will recover, even if you never fully understand it. We don't have to understand to accept that what is, is; I learned that after my husband died 15 years ago. I certainly wish you the best, I know your feelings all
  23. I would venture to say a 99% chance you will not. I've read and posted in all of the threads here and remember only one out of hundreds that got back together, they weren't apart long and we didn't get a long term report so we have no way of knowing if they lasted past two months. Yes, Kieron, great quote!!
  • Create New...