kayc

I know. I had a meeting with the music planning (for church) Sunday and they wanted to know who was going to be around this summer...it's sad to realize you have nowhere to go and no one to go with. Guess they can count on me all summer.

Hold your own with them, fae! I understand, I don't go in for blood tests every three months as my doctor tells me, stretching it to six months instead...I just see no need. It's always pretty much routine, the same old, same old, and I do my best with what I have, so what's the point? I walk twice a day, eat healthy, spend time on me, do all of the things the doctors and dentists tell me to do. Do you know how much time it takes to exercise, eat healthy, brush your teeth, use the water pic, floss, use the wooden pick, gargle? And that's just the dentist! At this age it's a full time job taking care of ourselves but we also have to keep track of all of our tax deductible items and file them away so that we can find them again. My son would like it if I would keep everything paperless and organized on the computer (probably will never happen) and I figure I do well just to make it to work on time every day! Then there's all of the stuff I SHOULD be doing on the house that I'm not...spraying the roof for moss, painting, etc. And the yard work...picking up limbs, mowing (I used to weed the whole place without chemicals, now I just move over and share the yard with them). Then in the house there is all of the dusting, vacuuming, getting cobwebs down, laundry, dishes, organizing...and I should be digging deeper and throwing some things out. I won't even get to the garage...hopefully I'll die before that has to be done... Isn't it funny all of the things we're expected to do, and then they tell us we should balance family/work, de-stress, spend time with our pets, oh and we should be taking care of our parents and meeting all of their needs too! For those of us with grown children or grandchildren, that adds another dimension. I think it's amazing if we get 1/4 of all of this done and still have time to flop down at the end of the day and veg out!

My sister's front yard is a small little place, enclosed by an ivy covered fence and some shade trees...some bushes here, some flowers there, it reminds me of a garden where fairies might go...it's enchanting, secluded. She has a little bench out there under one of the trees where she likes to read. A fountain would look great tucked away there. She said her husband just put up an overhead thing so she can enjoy it whether rain or shine, I haven't seen it yet. Jan, when you get a good start on your garden, you'll have to share some pictures with us! I don't have a garden but I do love decking my patio out with flowers and watch the hummingbirds come and go.

I LOVE IT!!!

Ahh, thank you, but it is how it is sometimes. Thank you for your good wishes!

Do you have a local Goodwill? It's nice for people to find a suit there to attend a wedding or funeral, esp. as you say, they do not wear them there...it must seem such a luxurious expenditure to be used so rarely!

I am so happy for you! I can imagine how it must feel to bring that violin home and begin to draw the string... You are right, sometimes we need to do things just for us, we are all learning that. We must pamper ourselves, now that there is no one else that will!

I'm glad you'll have help putting all back in order, even if only a room or two to start. Arlie and Kitty are both doing well, thank you!

fae, I love staying in my robe and slippers until 9:00 on the weekend...alas I have to get up and get dressed and walk Arlie though! Last night it froze, I had to build a fire, tonight it will be 30 so another fire to build. Anne, I'll have to remember to watch the videos later at home (no sound here). Thanks for sharing!

What you say here, Mary, is so aptly put! It is how it goes. And Anne, as you expressed it, that is our journey...one moment thinking of everything wonderful and the next engulfed in the pain of loss. Ahh we've come to learn to roll with the tides...

fae, I want to see a picture of this dragonfly tent when you are done! What do you use it for?

Mary, it sounds like it's coming along nicely, and I like how they're taking care of you, even though not always to your timetable...it's getting done. Soon it will be done!

I'm not seeing him, not at all! Just talked that once on the phone.

I feel the same way, Mary, I'm glad I donated to Sponsor's (inmates reentering society, they have nothing). It would have been nice to save a few old workshirts or something for a quilt, but most of his clothes were not worn out excepting a couple of shirts that had outlived their usefulness (isn't it funny how men don't want to retire a favorite shirt?).

Thank you for sharing this Mary, I went on line to check it out when you first sent it to me and it seems like they wanted $35 or so and not having it, I didn't go any further. But I agree, I like reading Henri Nouwen and have some of his books.

Anne, the quote you posted is so true. I'm glad it was a good day for you. I have a lot of solitude in my life and have learned not to "rush to fill the silence" but view it as a friend. I tried some of the meditations here this weekend. I'm not used to having a meditation done up for me to use, but rather to just meditate by myself w/o sounds or pictures, but the one of the ocean was nice...I could listen to that for hours.

That is so like you, Anne. Always thinking of others, thank you. How did your day "off line" go?

I think it's important to listen to that voice inside when it comes to grief. Is there any way you could have it reopened to get your pictures? I mean, if it's big enough to bug you, it's big enough to do something about it. You shouldn't have to live with regrets and shouldn't feel pressured to do things a certain way. I'm sorry you're experiencing these feelings, it's hard enough!

Plum, You're doing great and your attitude is terrific! It will all be good someday.

I think Jim is messed up and maybe doesn't know what he wants or doesn't act on it...whatever, that's his place to figure out, not mine. I would have so many requirements in order to give a go at this relationship that in all honesty, I can't picture him going for it. So I don't go there, don't hope, don't encourage it, don't anything. I'm truly feeling that being on my own is better. But I do like him and can't see throwing a perfectly good friendship away. He's the sort of person that stays paralyzed in something rather than doing anything about it so I don't see anything ever changing. It could go on like this the next 20 years. That's okay by me, I'm not dating, neither is he, so no one to be bothered by our continued communication. You are right, Pollara, people do grieve differently. I think at the end of the day we must do what's best for ourselves and let the other person decide for themselves and respect each other's wishes.

Helena, I don't know how much you care about this guy, but if you continue to push him, you'll lose him for sure. I'd back off and give him some space. This is a fairly new relationship and he's going through so much. If this is a relationship worth having, it's worth being patient for. I think the goal would be here, to keep the relationship strong enough so it doesn't totally blow up, at least until you guys have some time to see down the road if it's something you want to have long term or not. You need more time and right now he can't think clearly and it looks like you aren't either. I'm sorry, just being honest, that's how I see it. I hate to see you lose something that could be just what you want. If the relationship does survive, you can work out the logistics of where to live later on. I wouldn't let distance get in the way if it is the right person. Pollara was typing the same time as me...I would leave relationship talks aside altogether right now, text or otherwise. He's not in the place he needs that or can respond to it. Sometimes just taking a deep breath and letting things be as they are...there's time enough for that on down the road. Anything else is going to seem like a demand right now and he just can't handle that right now. Do you not understand what grieving is like? It puts your head in a deep fog and you can't even think! Try just being his best friend, someone safe and easy for him to come to.

Shannon, Thinking of you as the day began and hoping this chemo isn't too rough for you. Also a prayer for Leo, hoping they get him stabilized. I'm glad you got some time in with him before his seizures. (((hugs)))

How true...no way to speed it up or circumvent it, it just goes it's own pace like it has a mind of its own.

He doesn't have a clue. He will probably drown his sorrows in women and/or other things, and we all know that doesn't work well. I know he's hurting, I know he loves his wife, I also know he hasn't a clue what to do about it. He's working around the clock, trying to keep busy so he doesn't have to think. I get that. But I won't be a pawn. fae, I love interference paints (I've used them in my cards and coasters...stamping), so fun! I also love dragonflies, so much fun to paint! Only I cheat, I start with my stamped image.

I saved some of George's clothes, usually it's his bathrobe when I feel the need to wrap myself in him, but I also have a shirt/jacket of his...we had them matching in different colors/sizes, but sometimes I like to wear his even though it's too big. I realize Ann was off line yesterday, but figured she'd read when she got back. I haven't done any quilting for years, don't really have the time, but I do wish I'd thought of it before getting rid of everything. Oh well, at least they went for a good cause and I know he would have been delighted with that. You sure are ambitious! I'm wishing I'd gotten to some yard work this weekend, I was so busy in the house I never did get around to it, now it's back to rain.