"princess"

Hi everyone. My husband passed away March 12, 2005. He was only 38 and I am only 30. I can't believe that God has taken him. He was my everything and gave back to the world in so many ways. I love and miss him every moment of the day. I am glad that I found this web site. In my support group I am the youngest by atleast 15 years. They are wonderful people but no one understands that I long to have a baby with my precious husband. No one understands exactly where I am in life and how hard this is. They look at me and say, "You are young and will remarry," and I think-I DON"T WANT TO!!!!I want my husband back!!! For those of you with children, please hug them and be thankful for them everyday. They are your strength and your link to what you use to have. When you are guiding them, remember what you both wanted and instill that in your child. I wish so much that we had a baby. He would of made the best dad.

I have no words to say except that I am so sorry. If you ever need to talk please know we are here. I know your husband and precious babies are with God. I know it is hard to believe in anything right now but that is who will guide us through this horrific pain.

kayc, i have no idea why it gets better than the emotional rollercoaster takes a nose dive. it has been 4 months since I lost my husband and it seems like the last three weeks have been the hardest. I laugh and joke at work but as soon as I am by myself I break down and can't stop. This pain we all feel is so unreal. I compare shock to a really good pain medicine but as it is wearing off my heart just wants to explode. there is this pain that just will not let up. i don't know how long it will last but i am more afraid of when it does ease up. how do we go on living without our loved ones? why us? the only comfort i get is knowing that my husband will never go through this pain. when we all walked down the isle we all knew that one day one of us in the mirrage would have to face this. the thing that stinks is that regardless of when it happens it feels like it was to soon. when i have days like yours i just walk away. i am fighting just to stay afloat. i am not going to let things drain the little energy i have. stay strong and remember that we are here for you.

Ahna, I hate to tell you this but you may be the only person she feels comfortable breaking down with. I know it is a major ordeal especially since you have not broken down yourself but she needs you more than anything. If I were you I would set some time for yourself, even if it is only 15-30 minutes a day to handle your grief and recharge. If it had not been for my sisters, I would hate to think what emotional state I would be in. It is hard to completely break down and let go with people you don't know. Tell her to come to this chat room and write down her feelings but strangers do not fulfill the emptiness that she has nor are able share her memories, only those who knew him and loved him. It has been 4 months today that I lost my husband and I am still afraid to lean on anyone except my sisters. I know it is an emotional toll on them but thanks to them I am able to laugh at times. She is having to find her way again and she needs someone to be her legs. Please be patient with her and just love her. Her world has just ended as she knows it and it will never go back to what it was. I know you know all of this but it is so true that in just one instance your life can be changed forever. Please tell me her name so I can pray for her. Beth

I lost my husband 4 months ago tomorrow. I still cry like it was yesterday and I don't think that time really takes away the pain but we just deal with it. Walt, that is the most amazing poem. When I think my husband has gone on I get another sign. He lets me know that he is still with me loving and help guiding me. Thank you so much.