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EveryShadeOfBlue

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  1. Hi everyone, I've been reading about the losses you all have had and I am so sorry for them. My heart and prayers goes out to you all. I lost my husband and my children in a car crash. A drunk driver hit them. I just don't know how to go on. I don't know what to do. I blame myself. I caused this to happen. I asked my husband to go back out when he got home from work. If I hadn't of asked they would still be alive. My kids were twins, 4 years old. I feel like I'm going day to day in a daze. Some days I feel guilty for breathing or eating or even smiling. After it happened I stopped everything. I didn't care about anything. I am litterally killing myself by not eating or sleeping right. I've been hospitalized for letting my weight get down to 86lbs. I'm mad at the man that killed them, I'm mad at myself and I'm mad at them for leaving me. My mind tells me one thing but my heart tells me different. I'm so scared to be alone. Some days I feel like I'm going crazy. I feel like I am who I am because of them, they were what made me, me and now I am nothing alone. They were the biggest part of me. I just can't find that place inside of me where I know I'll be "ok" again. I just feel lost.
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