I have to share my pain with somebody, Last year we had to put to sleep within six months of each other our 16 year old cat Blue and our 14 year old dog Fyfe, this was the saddest time in my life, but i knew in my heart that they had long happy healthy lives and in the end it was a relief to know they were free from pain, this left us with just 2 cats , so we decided that we would have to get another cat as it seemed so strange only having two cats and i wasn't ready to have another dog,so one most joyous day we brought home not one but two beautiful little kittens, little tortoiseshell sisters who we named Gypsy and Pixie, oh the joy of having little scamps running around our house again it was trully wonderful and it made my heart sing. our cats have access to the outside world and after keeping the little girls in for 8 months, we let them out into this amazing new world, both of them took to this like a duck to water, they loved being outside and it was lovely watching the fun that they had even though i clucked over them like a mother hen - much to my neighbors amusement!! But as you can probably gather, i have lost one of my girls, my baby pixie was killed by a car outside my home, i was telephoned by someone who cared enough to look at her identity tag, i am not sure if i will ever forget that man's words, they haunt me, i can't even find the words to describe the pain, i have never felt such sadness and numbness before, and then of course Gypsy is looking for her friend, playmate and sleeping pal, she is very confused i think and watching her just rips my heart into pieces. i feel so devastated as Pixie was not even a year old but i had such love for this little funny creature i miss her so much and i am crushed . i am so sorry for rambling on here but i think i will be better getting this all out. i just can't imagine ever feeling joy again. To add to my struggle 4 days after pixies death we brought home a 4 month old rescue pup- the timing was awful but the pup who we've named poppy was going to be destroyed so we had to take her. its stressful enough introducing a new dog into a cat household at the best of times but Gypsy is taking the new arrival pretty badly and this just adds to my sadness for her, i just can't make any sense of pixie's death, or my sadness, i so want to learn from this or understand that it was just Pixie's time but i am so grief stricken i find it hard to cope, and i question whether i have done the right thing by bringing in a very lively puppy to an already distraught household,Thank you very much for listening, i would be so grateful if anyone can share their wisdom with me XX elkira
