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Grief Healing Discussion Groups

Rep1Right

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  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    Hospice of the Valley
  1. JeepGuy, I, too, am all alone! I took care of my 51 year-old husband Rick myself for 6 months (from November 15, 2004 to May 29, 2005) until he died from Stage IV Lung Cancer. Nobody came to my aid until the last couple of weeks. I, too, am all alone. Both my parents are deceased, any extended family lives back in the NY area and my only sibling, a brother who lives in Vegass has no "soul". He cannot reach out and give me support at this terrible time of need, yet I have always been there for him! Needless to say, i am very hurt! It is going on 4 months now and I seem to do fairly well during the week. I find weekends unbearable, tho. Everyone is busy with their own life. The phone doesn't even ring. And September 9th would have been our 8th anniversary. I have been unable to get out of the depression since then. I think about him constantly...about everything we did, his touch, his laugh, his fear of dying, his unconditional love and I cry...I go to church on the weekend but it doesn't seem to help much. Everyone is in pairs...everyone is holding hands and I am the "fish out of water" or so it seems. I feel so all alone. I feel indecisive. I want to work and I don't want to work. I want to move and I don't want to move (although I took care of that by signing a "Exclusive Listing Agreement" with an ambulance chasing Realtor who knew Rick and caught me at a vulnerable time). I panicked and tried to get out of the agreement and they refused. After pleading, the manager of the agency said she would let me out of the agreement for $8,000.00. At that point I got a lawyer who quickly advised them that I would not pay $8,000 or anything for that matter but it looks as though it will be stand-off until the end of next June when the agreement ends. This makes me cry, too, because I am not normally accustomed to doing stupid things...I am just not in my right mind right now and to think someone who acted as a friend could set me up is ugly. Anyway, I empathize with you from the bottom of my heart. KC...thank you for your response!
  2. I lost my husband, Rick, 51 years old, to non-small cell lung cancer on May 29, 2005. A good number of the items on your list are very familiar...but the worst one I've experienced thus far comes from my own brother who cares only for money and material things and has lost his soul somewhere along the way. He lives in Las Vegas with his family and lives to make money and show off his material possessions. It was one week after Rick had passed away (my brother has only called me twice since May 29th and the last call was July 24th). As both my parents are deceased, he is the only immediate family I have left. I was very depressed and called to talk to him around around July 1st. At hearing how I sounded, he stated, "Listen, we're all gonna die some day...it's too bad Rick had to die...but you need to get on with your life". And then he proceded to invite me to Las Vegas to party for the 4th of July. As I said, he doesn't even call me to see if I'm alive. From strangers or acquaintances I could be more forgiving but not from my own brother. It has been almost 4 months since Rick passed away and I feel as though I am reverting backwards. Friends have gone back to their lives and very seldom call me. If I want to carry on a conversation, I have to call them. I hate my life, I hate the emptiness, I hate the lonliness, I hate missing all the wonderful things we used to do together, and most of all, I hate the thought of feeling like this for the rest of my life for I will never be the same as I was before no matter how many people keep saying, "it's going to take time"...I am 58 and as far as I'm concerned, even if I live to 100 it won't be enough time.
  3. Barb, I know what you are feeling...I lost my husband, Rick, 51 years old, to lung cancer on May 29th. I don't care about life any more. I go through the motions every day...as if I am trying to get it over with... Rick was everything to me ... my best friend, soul mate, lover, confidante, and we never let a day go by without telling one another "I love you"! His illness took him in 6 months practically from the day of diagnosis. He suffered so and he did not want to die! The worst part was he developed 22 brain tumors at the end. The doctors insisted he needed Whole Brain Radiation...they gave him a stroke....his brain was scrambled...he was unable to talk to me for the last week and a half! Now...i just live breathe from moment to moment. I don't care what happens to me. I don't find enjoyment in anything any more. I miss all the little things we did together...i miss laying next to me....I miss his touch, his kiss, his unending support. I have had my life...now it's counting days until i can go home, too!
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