JeepGuy, I, too, am all alone! I took care of my 51 year-old husband Rick myself for 6 months (from November 15, 2004 to May 29, 2005) until he died from Stage IV Lung Cancer. Nobody came to my aid until the last couple of weeks. I, too, am all alone. Both my parents are deceased, any extended family lives back in the NY area and my only sibling, a brother who lives in Vegass has no "soul". He cannot reach out and give me support at this terrible time of need, yet I have always been there for him! Needless to say, i am very hurt! It is going on 4 months now and I seem to do fairly well during the week. I find weekends unbearable, tho. Everyone is busy with their own life. The phone doesn't even ring. And September 9th would have been our 8th anniversary. I have been unable to get out of the depression since then. I think about him constantly...about everything we did, his touch, his laugh, his fear of dying, his unconditional love and I cry...I go to church on the weekend but it doesn't seem to help much. Everyone is in pairs...everyone is holding hands and I am the "fish out of water" or so it seems. I feel so all alone. I feel indecisive. I want to work and I don't want to work. I want to move and I don't want to move (although I took care of that by signing a "Exclusive Listing Agreement" with an ambulance chasing Realtor who knew Rick and caught me at a vulnerable time). I panicked and tried to get out of the agreement and they refused. After pleading, the manager of the agency said she would let me out of the agreement for $8,000.00. At that point I got a lawyer who quickly advised them that I would not pay $8,000 or anything for that matter but it looks as though it will be stand-off until the end of next June when the agreement ends. This makes me cry, too, because I am not normally accustomed to doing stupid things...I am just not in my right mind right now and to think someone who acted as a friend could set me up is ugly. Anyway, I empathize with you from the bottom of my heart. KC...thank you for your response!