Eliza

Dear Lori, Thank you so much for checking in, even though I know how hard it must be for you to have to report that your Miss Mia isn't back with you yet. I, too, have been thinking about you and worrying about you both and hoping and praying for a quick and happy reunion. I am so proud of you for all of the wonderful effort you're putting in to find your sweet girl! (What a beautiful girl she is, too! She reminds me so much of my Tigger!) You are such a loving and devoted mama to her! But, I know it must be an emotionally exhausting time for you. My heart just breaks for what you're going through and I wish so much I could be there to help you, too. I agree that, even if the unthinkable should happen and you don't find your girl, you will at least know that you did everything possible to find her. But, for now, I'm keeping the faith, and continuing to pray for you both. Please know that we're here for you and sending out positive vibes!! You're not alone!! Love and (((HUGE HUGS!!))) Eliza

Dear Skyebean, Your post touched me so deeply that I had to reply. I agree with Maylissa that you express what you (what we all) are feeling so very eloquently. I can feel the pain coming through so clearly, but also the gratitude for a life so full of love! Thank you for introducing us to your wonderful girls. Akasha and Jellybean sound like exceptionally sweet puppies! They certainly brought a host of wonders to your lives and you to theirs! How lucky you've all been to have each other! I'm so glad for you that you're surrounded by loving family and friends who understand the depth of your loss. That is of critical importance to our healing and one of the reasons that I'm so grateful to have found this site. I, too, know the intense pain and bewilderment that you're feeling. My beloved Winnie girl (nearly 17-year-old calico kitty) passed two months ago, and the first few days (weeks) were nearly unbearable. Life seemed completely pointless and I felt utterly lost. Everything that made sense about my life seemed to leave with her, and all I wanted in the world was to have her sweet, warm, fuzzy body back in my arms again. There is something so intensely personal and hard to accept about losing a furbaby, in part because of they are so wise and teach us so much and offer such devoted, unconditional love, and in part because they are so dependent upon us to care for them. Their very health and well being is in our hands, and it can feel like a failure when, despite our best efforts to care for them, they leave us anyway! I know exactly how you feel about doing everything you can to keep your furbabies happy, healthy and safe. I also will go to any length to ensure these things for my little furry ones. But, sometimes we just have to accept that their little bodies just aren't designed to live as long as ours. My Winnie girl held out for me for a long time, despite the fact that her poor little body was giving out on her (she passed from complications from cancer). Since her passing, it has given me such comfort to think of her healthy and happy and completely safe in Heaven! I know she's there, watching over me, and glad to be free of a body that was letting her down. You are such a wonderfully compassionate person to have done all you could to help Akasha pass in the most comfortable way possible for her, at home, surrounded by love! Jellybean and your new little bundle of joy are so fortunate to be in such loving hands! I'm still in the first stages of my grief journey, so I'm not sure how much comfort I can give regarding the healing powers of time, but I have found that I'm making small measures of progress every day, and that I've come to understand things about love, life and the afterlife that I apparently wasn't ready to understand before the loss of my beloved girl. Now, I feel a complete acceptance of the reality of Heaven and I believe totally that I will see all of my loved ones again when the time is right. I wish you and yours peace and comfort at this terribly difficult time. Hugs to you all, Eliza

Dear Meow-Meow's Mommy, I'm so very sorry to hear of the loss of your beloved Meow-Meow. I lost my beautiful Winnie girl (calico kitty) eight weeks ago, just shy of her 17th birthday. So, I know what a terrible hole is left in our hearts when our furbabies have to move on. I also believe that Winnie and Meow-Meow are in Heaven and that you and I will be reunited with them one day. But, you're right that that thought can only bring so much comfort right now. It's the loss of their physical presence that continues to make our hearts ache and our throats feel tight and our lives feel pointless. And having them in our lives for so many years (although it does mean they were blessed with long, happy lives) makes it even harder to let go when they have to make their transition. Although Meow-Meow certainly is still with you and watching over you, because love never ends, it's so very hard for those of us left behind to get used to the new reality we have to face. I understand completely how you feel about not wanting to clean -- like it will somehow erase your Meow-Meow's presence from your home. Of course you know that's not true, but there's certainly no need to push yourself into cleaning. When you feel up to it, you will find that you can bring yourself to do it. Please be very gentle with yourselves right now. Losing a devoted animal companion is no different than losing a human loved one, and in fact can be harder because they are so wonderful about giving us uncomplicated, unconditional love! All of our loved ones are loved and missed when they have to leave us, because love is love and loss is loss. Unfortunately, we have to go through the journey of grief for everyone we lose. I hope it helps a little bit to know that there are so many of us out here who understand exactly how you're feeling. I thought I would never get through the first day without Winnie. Now I've made it eight weeks, and I'm happy to tell you that it does get better. It just takes time, and progress can be very slow. Take it a day (or an hour) at a time and do the things that mean the most to you to honor Meow-Meow's memory and give comfort to yourselves. I also understand your husband's desire to have kitties in your life again, and for some it's critical to do it right away, while others need more time to adjust to the idea. I think that it probably will help to have them with you, even while you an your husband continue to grieve for your sweet girl. So, try very hard to appreciate your new little ones for who they are, and know that while they can never "replace" Meow-Meow in your hearts, they are very deserving of your love and care. And I'm sure Meow-Meow is glad to know that two more lucky kitties are getting to live in such a loving home! I wish you and your family the best of luck. You and Meow-Meow will be in my prayers tonight. Keep taking deep breaths and telling Meow-Meow that you love her. It will get better, I promise! Hugs, Eliza

Dear Lori, I know this must be very frustrating and upsetting, but I think you're definitely doing the right thing! At least it's good to know that people are responding to your flyers. There's certainly hope that the next sighting might be her! I would definitely try the methods on the website Maylissa suggested. They seem like they could be very helpful. Keep the faith! I'm still praying for you and Mia to find each other, too! Best of luck, Eliza

Lori, I'm so glad to hear that the search for Miss Mia is gaining ground! I'm praying for you both to find each other! Please keep us informed because I know we're all thinking of you and keeping our fingers crossed! Wishing you the best of luck!! Eliza

Dear Lori, I'm so very sorry to hear about Mia's disappearance. I have found this site to be very helpful, so I encourage you to keep coming here. But, I'm going to go ahead and direct you to another site that, I think, will be even more useful to you in this circumstance. It's at www.lightning-strike.com. It is a grief site that is exclusively for pet loss, and they have a special section for dealing with the grief that goes with losing animals this way. I don't want to encourage false hope, but they may even be able to help you do more to find Mia. One week really isn't all that long. Some pets have be reunited with their people even after several months. At this point, I wouldn't give up. At least keep checking with your local animal shelters (they say to do this every day) to see if she turns up there. Also, there are animal communicators out there who might be able to contact Mia and get information from her that will help you find where she is -- or even to determine whether she's still in her body. That last sentence may make you wonder about my sanity, but I do believe that this is possible, and I encourage you to look into it. You can check out www.hurricane.net for animal communicator Annette Betcher. Her website includes testimonials from people who have found their pets with help from Annette. In any case, please keep reaching out for support and comfort from those of us who understand what you're going through. Losing our beloved furbabies is so extermely difficult, and to lose a pet without having the chance to say goodbye can be especially painful. We understand and we're here for you! Hugs and best of luck, Eliza

Hi DB, I'm so glad to hear that you've experienced ADCs from your Smokey! It IS really comforting, isn't it? Granted, it's not as nice as having them physically with us (yes, I do continue to think of my Winnie girl every day...), but it's so nice to know that they're still around, perfectly safe and healthy, and keeping in touch! The book on animal communication that I found to be most helpful after losing Winnie was "Animals and the Afterlife" by Kim Sheridan. I got my copy from amazon.com, but I think they have a website for the book and you can buy it from them directly. I found it to be very inspiring! And this is definitely coming from someone who never would have dreamed such things were possible a few months ago! Now it feels like my eyes have truly been opened to what is really possible! I've now talked with two animal communicators. Annette Betcher is the one who helped me contact Winnie. She is located in Washington state, where I am, and has a website at www.hurricane.net. She has some interesting stories on her website about contacting lost animals and helping them get found! I found those to be the most helpful, because what she was able to tell people about where the animals were located was corroborated by the owners when they found them! The other is Mary Getten, who helped me communicate with the two kitties who are still with me. I was really impressed with what she told me about what they were saying because she totally nailed their personalities and what they'd been up to and I told her NOTHING about them at the beginning except their names! Her website is at www.rockisland.com. Of course, you may want to look for an animal communicator that is close to you. Not because they need to be physically close (they can contact Smokey from anywhere), but you will be paying the long distance charges. Just be very sure that you've found a good one. I've heard that there are some charlatains out there who will mess with your head and take your money. This is far too important a communication to leave it to criminals! Those animal communicators with websites usually have testimonials from people who have helped them, which I found to be useful. Best of luck on your talk with Smokey! Let us know how it goes! Eliza

Hi Maylissa! How nice to hear from you again! I loved reading about Sabin's ADC's! He sure is a loving little boy to be so good about sending you reassurance when you need it! His contacts with you are certainly nothing you can explain away or doubt. He absolutely has been staying in contact with you, and that is such a miraculous gift!! I guess I have always been open to the idea of an afterlife / spirit world, but like you, I have grown up always wanting scientific proof of everything! The gift that my Winnie girl has given me is the absolute conviction, without scientific "proof," that she does indeed live on and that we will be reunited. I know that she was with us in the house just after she passed (she passed at the emergency vet clinic, but she followed me home!) I may have mentioned some of this already, but on the evening she passed, I was in my living room and my cat Charlie was crouched down behind the recliner (which was odd anyway) growling like I've never heard him growl before (or since). I just felt sure that she was back there with him and freaking him out! A day or two later, our neighbor's cat was hanging around our front door, and decided to make a play for one of the catnip toys behind the recliner. I was watching her do it (because I thought it was cute!), when I noticed her draw up short and look very startled when she reached the same place behind the recliner that Charlie had been. She turned and ran back out the front door! I know Winnie was back there again, telling her to find her own catnip toys! Also, in the first week or so, Winnie came to me in a dream so vivid and reassuring that I know it was her letting me know that she is healthy and happy. I was lying in bed in my dream when I heard her running into the room (she didn't really run the last couple of years of her life because of arthritis in her hips). She jumped right up onto the bed (which is very high -- she normally needed to get up by way of the footstool I placed at the end of the bed). She walked very purposefully over to me and threw her body against me to be petted. It seemed like she wanted me to see how young and healthy and strong she is now!! I could feel the solidity of her lovely body and her soft fur and it felt so absolutely real! When I woke up, I did feel disappointed that she wasn't physically there with me, but I also felt happy and peaceful knowing that she was sending me a sign that she's O.K.! A couple of days later, I heard her sweet voice outside near my car. My cat Charlie was there, but I was looking at him when I heard her, so I know it wasn't him. I looked around for other cats, but there was no one else nearby. Plus, it was a very special "chirpy" sound she used to make when she was trying to get my attention regarding something important to her! So, I know she was trying to get a very important message across to me! Also, I have felt her on the bed with me. (This has happened with all three of my furbabies after they passed.) I haven't had quite the vivid experience you did with Sabin right after he passed, but I definitely feel their presence and their weight on the bed, walking up from the foot of the bed to my side. There is a definite pressure on the bed, moving up the bed. And about a week and a half ago, I was waking up in the morning when I felt a pressure, the size of a paw, on the back of my hand. I knew it was Winnie, so I kept my eyes closed and enjoyed the sensation and sent out a thought to her that I knew it was her and that I was so grateful for the visit! When I finally opened my eyes, the pressure stopped. Other things have happened, too, that I think were signs from her. Like little objects moving within the first week after she passed. And the fact that I saw a butterfly on the day after she passed. Lots of little things like that. You also know that I've contacted an animal communicator and have talked to Winnie directly. I believe that Winnie led me to find her. I talked to Winnie a couple of times before she passed, saying that I wished there were some way to communicate with her better so that I could hear her thoughts on the chemotherapy we were trying. (I didn't want to put her through any discomfort if she would have preferred to go another route.) On the day that Winnie passed, I saw a movie called "Broken Flowers" in which Jessica Lange plays an animal communicator. This was the first I had heard of such people. I'd heard of animal psychics, but in the movie, Jessica Lange's character explains the difference between animal psychics and animal communicators. Then, in my grief after Winnie passed, the first book I bought was filled with references to animal communicators. I felt this certainty that I HAD to try to get in contact with Winnie. When I called to make the appointment, the animal communicator said, "Oh, Winnie is really eager to talk to you. She knew you would be trying to get in touch with her this way!" The appointment took place a couple of days later. The communicator said a couple of things that didn't make sense to me, but mostly what she said was right on. I asked Winnie to tell me things that only she and I would know so that I would know it was really her. One of the things she said really struck me as the proof I needed. She said that one time I put her in a backpack and she didn't like it! (Yes, it sounds like a very strange thing to say!!) Well, I didn't exactly put her in a backpack, but one time my ex-husband, Dan, and I had just bought a Snuggli (a baby carrier you strap onto your back or front to carry your baby close to you) for my sister-in-law's baby shower. Before we wrapped it, we tried to put all three of the cats in it. Winnie was NOT going to put up with it, so we stopped trying with her, but I do have a picture of Dan wearing the Snuggli with Tommy in it! How in the WORLD would the animal communicator have come up with this on her own?!?!? Impossible. It was Winnie. The thing I haven't told you is that one of the first things Winnie told me through the communicator is that she wants to come back! Tigger and Tommy are happy in Heaven and don't desire to come back, but Winnie wants to come back and be with me, and keep coming back until we can be together again in Heaven! Those were her words! I've been a little freaked out by this, but also the thought has given me more peace and hopefulness than I could have expected this early on. (It's only been six weeks!) I'm still grieving for Winnie in the lovely form I'm so familiar with, and so it's been hard to think of her inhabiting another body. (Will she be at all the same? Will I be able to tell it's really her? Will I be disappointed if she's not exactly the way I remember her?) But, I'm starting to get used to the idea. The more I read about this phenomenon, the more I realize that I have to make sure my expectations are reasonable. Winnie wants me to keep an eye out for a body for her, and says that she will come back as a kitty or puppy, boy or girl. This has been a really interesting experience for me. Until a couple of months ago, I might have scoffed at the idea of an animal reincarnating to be with a loved one. Now, I'm convinced that it's true, and not just because I want it to be! True, I like the idea very much that she's safe where she is and not having to go through any kind of pain. But, its such an extraordinary gift for her to be willing to come back and be with me, even though she will have to face danger and pain again! I'm so grateful to her for such love and devotion! Anyway, this has been a very transitional time for me. I've become much more spiritually open than I have ever been before, and I have my lovely Winnie girl to thank for it! Just like your Sabin opened your eyes to things you've never thought possible before, Winnie is doing the same for me! What an amazing thing!!! Thank you again for sharing your stories about Sabin and Nissa. I'm positive that these experiences are indeed contacts from your boy, and I'm glad you can feel some peace in knowing that you WILL all be together again someday! Please write more soon! Eliza

I'm so very sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved Smokey! What a wonderful kitty he sounds like -- and what an amazing relationship you must have had! I'm so sorry that you didn't get all the years with him that I'm sure you thought, or at least hoped, you would have! Poor baby! His passing sounds like it was difficult for him and for you! What a gift you gave him to release him from his pain and let him pass as peacefully as possible! You are indeed very loving to have done that for your boy! I'm glad you posted here, because it is very important to tell the story of our furbabies' passing. We have to keep telling the story until the reality of what has happened can sink in. I know that that will hurt very much to accept this new, terrible reality, but it is an essential step on our journey through grief. I'm so sorry that you had to lose two beloved furbabies so close together! It must be so terribly difficult to go through that! I understand completely what it feels like to be loved so unconditionally and have to lose such a devoted and loving companion! Please keep an eye out for signs from your Smokey that his spirit is out there, watching over you, and still loving you! I'm absolutely positive that he is, and that he will try to show you, if you are open to it. Please take good care of yourself and your family during this terribly difficult time. There are many people out here who understand what you're going through and are keeping you in our thoughts. Wishing you strength and peace, Eliza

Dear Haberdash's Mom, I am so terribly sorry to hear about the loss of your sweet, wonderful friend! It must have been so heartwrenching to go through what you did with him! I understand what it feels like to feel utter despair at the passing of a loving, devoted friend. I'm not sure how much help I will be to you, but I'll try. I, too, lost my best friend and soul mate four weeks ago. Winnie, my nearly 17-year-old calico kitty, had sudden complications from cancer and I had to make the heartbreaking decision to humanely end her suffering. It was the hardest decision of my life, yet somehow it felt like the only one I could make. I hope very much that you are not feeling guilt about helping your darling boy when he needed you to be strong and wise for him. You did exactly what you had to do for him and it was done out of love and kindness. I am positive that he is grateful for the release from a body that had let him down. I am equally positive that his spirit lives on and is waiting for you, healthy happy and whole, in Heaven. I have previously had trouble believing in the afterlife, but certain things have happened since Winnie's passing that give me all the proof I need that she's still out there watching over me and that we will be together again. I don't think your posting was melodramatic. I understand that that is exactly how you feel and you should tell people how much you're hurting. I also felt the urge to let go of life after I lost my beloved girl. Life seemed so completely pointless, and worse than pointless because it seemed like an endless line of further pain and loss and sorrow. I didn't want to live without Winnie! I had lost every reason to smile or feel hope. But the good news is that that feeling has lessened over the past month. I still feel it sometimes, but not all the time. Part of what has given me comfort and hope for the future is a book called "Animals and the Afterlife" by Kim Sheridan. It's filled with stories of people's beloved animal babies visiting them after passing. Again, I may not have given these stories much credence before I lost my Winnie, but now I understand their worth. There is no reason in the world to believe that they CAN'T be true. And I have come to believe fully that they are. I'm glad you found this site. It's important to tell our babies' stories, and it is important to be reminded that there are others out there who feel exactly like we do. I can assure you that you are not the only one who doesn't want to keep living when they lose someone so beloved. But, it is such a wonderful honor to the memory of Haberdash and the love you share to continue living and loving as fully and enthusiastically as he did! (Of course, getting to that point can, and probably will, take quite a bit of time.) But remember that the bond of love that you share with Haberdash has not been broken. You will always be connected by that bond. I hope you can find some moments of peace as the days progress. The journey through grief can be very long, but you will get through it. You will never stop missing your sweet boy, but the memories of the time you shared here on Earth will start to make you smile again. And if you can come to understand that you WILL see him again in time, then I hope you'll be able to see that life continues to be worth living. Please take care of yourself. Your heart is wounded and you need to be gentle with yourself. Nothing will make the pain go away entirely, but keep taking lots of deep breaths, allow your husband and the rest of your family and friends to give you the comfort they can, and take it an hour at a time. And believe in miracles, because anything ... ANYTHING is possible. (((Hugs,))) Eliza

Dear Babysmommy, I'm glad you kept trying to come back to this site! I'm very glad to hear that the Humane Society and the local police haven't let you down! It must help to have others know what truly happened and to have the property manager told that the police are keeping an eye on him! Good for you!! I know that nothing will bring your darling Baby back, and it doesn't help to dwell for too long on the evil that exists in the world. What will help more is to remember all the love that Baby brought to you and to continue to honor that love. I hope you've found some comfort in the past couple of weeks. It is too soon to really be feeling better, but I hope there has been some peace that has creeped in. You are such a loving soul, and I know that Baby is in a better place and is watching over you. I would definitely look into getting a discount on cremation. It would be nice to have him back with you in your house. I have all of my three beloved furbabies' ashes in my living room, and it is such a comfort to me to have them there with me. Whatever it takes to make you feel better is what you need to do! Take care and trust in God that he's taking good care of your Baby! Hugs, Eliza

Marty, Thank you so much for sharing such a beautifully written piece. It expresses so well what our beloved animal companions can teach us and how our lives are changed forever once our furbabies come into them. It is so terribly hard to give them that one last gift of freedom to move on without us. But, they deserve that selflessness from us after a lifetime of selflessly giving us their total and unconditional love. I'm so glad to be reminded of all of the wonderful moments I've shared with my beloved babies, and I will keep those memories close to my heart until our paths cross again. Eliza

Hi Maylissa, Thank you so much for checking in! It has definitely been a roller coaster ride over the past two weeks and two days. I can't believe that I've even made it this far, when every day it feels like I should be able to walk into my house after work and find my sweet girl there on the couch or recliner looking up at me happily and expectantly! I miss her so terribly. I absolutely ache for her presence. I definitely still have parts of the day when the grief is just as fresh as it was the first day, but I also have parts of the day when I feel more peaceful (or maybe just exhausted!). I know I've made some progress, but I also know that this is going to be a very long journey for me. I'm still taking it an hour at a time. You may be right about Post Traumatic Stress. I hadn't thought of that. Tigger's loss was definitely a hard blow, as well, and to lose Winnie so soon after definitely made it harder to take. I'll have to look into that. Part of what has helped me get through the past two weeks is all the stuff I've done to try to comprehend this terrible loss. I've found a wonderful counselor, who I'm sure I'll see for a while. She really understands what I'm going through and has been able to give me some good insights into this whole process. I also read a book called "Animals and the Afterlife" by Kim Sheridan, which has been enormously comforting. I would recommend it highly, if you haven't read it. I found it on amazon.com, but I think there is a website at www.animalsandtheafterlife.com. I've also started volunteering for a cat animal shelter, which has been really nice so far. There are so many worthy kitties out there! Thank you again for your suggestion about the other pet loss support website. You're right that it is a bit more active and there are so many caring people on there. It has helped to know that so many people feel exactly like I do. Did you happen to see my post on there about animal communicators? Someone who responded to me suggested I read an earlier post by someone whose cat's name was Sabin. Was that you by any chance? I didn't see your name, but thought it might be you. In any case, I did have an animal communicator help me contact Winnie. I'd never done anything like this before (in fact, I hadn't even heard there was such a thing as animal communicators until the movie I saw the day Winnie passed! And then the first book I bought on pet loss, which I mentioned above, talks a lot about it.) I was a bit skeptical, but I just knew I had to try it. I was really anxious about it becasue I wanted so much to have absolutely concrete proof that it was indeed Winnie and that I wasn't just being taken in. In the end, I decided that I needed to take some of it on faith. Some of what this woman said didn't make sense to me, but much more sounded absolutely correct, and Winnie's messages for me were so very comforting, that the whole experience was worth it for me. So, when I'm feeling really low, I remember what she said to me, and it helps me to not feel quite so sad. I still miss my beautiful Winnie girl, and always will, but at least I have a little more hope now for the future. I do believe that we'll be together again. How are you and your girl cat doing? (I don't think I've learned her name yet!) I hope you are both feeling well and enjoying each others' company. You said something once before about how Sabin helped you both after he passed. I would love to hear more about that when you have some time! I'm still trying to connect more with my other two furbabies, Charlie and Sophie. They're so young and energetic, though, and don't want me fawning over them all the time. And I know it's not fair to expect them to just step in and take over for Winnie. That hasn't been their role. I'm going to try to just get to know them better individually and appreciate them for their own unique strengths and sillinesses. Anyway, thank you again for your continued friendship. It means a lot to me. Hugs, Eliza

Dear Babysmommy, I have to say I agree with Maylissa's advice here. Your senseless, horrible loss is so much harder to bear because of the way your Baby was taken from you. If I had faced my Tigger boy's death as an adult, I'm sure I would have gone crazy if I hadn't done SOMETHING to channel my rage. As it is, I was in shock as a child (I was about 8 years old) and have harbored a hatred in my heart for such evil people as an adult. I still grieve for Tigger and am absolutely heartbroken for you and Baby. Even if you find that there is little you can do to obtain retribution for Baby against these people (because of difficulty finding sufficient evidence, etc.), at least you can call attention to such senseless violence and help others to protect their own loved ones. That would be a lovely way to honor Baby's sweet, loving nature! And I also agree that it will help ease your fear about further acts of violence by protecting Baby's little pal and your other loved ones. I would definitely look into a safe place for Baby's pal to go. In my area, there are several really good no-kill shelters, so I hope very much that you can find such a place where you live. And I think it is important to honor your bond with Baby by holding a ceremony of some kind. Many people participate in a Monday evening candle-lighting service. Please look at petloss.com for more information on that and on the Rainbow Bridge. This has given me comfort and helped me to celebrate the love I have shared with my dearly departed loved ones. I am so sorry that your friends have continued to let you down. Please keep reaching out to those who DO understand! Pet loss websites are a good source of information about what you're going through, and you may be able to find a pet loss support group in your area that you can attend. It is so important to surround yourself with people who understand how strong and important our bonds with our animal babies are! Also, I have found that a book called "Animals and the Afterlife" by Kim Sheridan has been a wonderful source of comfort for me. It's available on amazon.com. I hurt so much for you and Baby! I am thinking about you and praying for you and I hope that you can soon feel some relief from the terrible emotions you're feeling right now. Take good care of yourself, Eliza

Dear Babysmommy, I am so, so terribly sorry to hear about the loss of your Baby! My heart breaks for you both and you will both definitely be in my prayers tonight! What a horrible, pointless loss! I am so angry for you at those horrible people! And I am so sorry to hear that your friends and neighbors haven't been there for you the way you had hoped they would. Maybe they will still come through for you. But, in any case, please know that there are many caring people out here who understand completely what a real, and devastating, loss Baby's murder is for you. Baby sounds like a really sweet kitty, and I can just imagine how difficult it is for you and his little feral pal to lose him -- and in such a violent manner! I had a similar experience when I was a child. Some horrible teenage boys who used to pick on my brother captured my beautiful Tigger (a wonderfully sweet, smart boy) and cut his head off and threw him behind our house. I was absolutely stunned that other human beings could be so cruel! I've never gotten over the anger I feel at them or people like them. My only hope is that they ultimately feel the wrath that is due to them! But, I know that such hateful sentiments are not helpful to you right now. Although we have to acknowledge that such people exist, we cannot change them, and so cannot be responsible for their behavior. Please don't blame yourself for being distracted by other events in your life or somehow make this your fault. You couldn't have known what evil was lurking in their hearts. The guilt you feel is a natural response to your feelings of loss and lack of control over this situation. It is part of the "anger" stage of grieving. While appropriate anger can be beneficial by relieving your feelings of pain temporarily, when you turn it toward yourself in the form of misplaced guilt, it can be very destructive. What will be more helpful is to remember all of the love you gave Baby. I'm sure he knows how much you loved him and cared about his happiness, health and safety. What's more, I know that he has gone to a much, much better place where only caring people and other animals go. He's not in pain anymore and he can run free in the knowledge that he will always be safe. Maybe he and my Tigger will meet up and play together! Above all else, please know that warm, loving, compassionate people like yourself will also get their just reward, which is an eternity in heaven with all of your furry babies! Please hang in there. I will be thinking about you. Eliza