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  1. Just at the start of COVID my long term (2.5 years) boyfriend lost his father unexpectedly. That same week he was furloughed, and moved out of state temporarily to handle family affairs. During this time I spent many weeks with him, working remotely, to support anyway I could. In all honesty, I was grateful for the time I could spend with him since my normal job wouldn’t have allowed for that kind of time away from the office. Two months ago he accepted a new job even further away, out of fear of not being brought back on to his company. As painful as it felt, I wholeheartedly supported his decision, hosted a farewell dinner (which he requested), helped him pack and drove cross country with him to settle in. Fast forward to this past weekend & he’s telling me he wants to break up. Says that he knows he’s neglecting me and that he can’t promise our future together anymore and is basically losing it over his work, and juggling it all. I’m destroyed. He ultimately said that he would like to just get some space, though we couldn’t be further apart as it is. He suggested no contact this week & reconvene Friday, by phone. I was literally just with him three days before this sudden shift for Labor Day weekend. What do I do? He’s the love of my life- and to make matters even more complicated, my two daughters have now witnessed me crying, etc. I’m literally just holding it together- I missed him like hell as it was and now it’s been going on 3 days with zero contact. I’m afraid he’s isolating himself and won’t ever come back. All the threads are so very similar to this but I can’t let him go.
  2. Hello Everyone, This is my first time posting in this forum, though I've been reading it for quite a while - many thanks to all of you for your heartfelt sharing which has helped me know that my own feelings are normal. What's got me writing now is that I have become more and more aware of how enraged I feel at nearly all my so-called friends who over the past many years have acted basically like nothing has happened, when in fact my beloved husband died 16 months ago after a long journey through Dementia. It's like I'm invisible, or my pain is invisible - though I have openly spoken of it many times. Or maybe it's like they suddenly learned that I have a deadly communicable disease so they run the other way. Only one friend has drawn closer to me, and that has been a real lifesaver for me. Same story with my family. I mean, I literally tell people that I feel like my life has collapsed because the central pillar is gone. Does anyone hear that? Does anyone care at all? I'm just so enraged right now I don't know what to do with all these feelings. Sometimes I want to scream at all of them, sometimes I want to suddenly just move away and tell none where I went, or whatever. OK, so maybe they haven't experienced this kind of loss so they just don't know - but it sure seems to me that they don't want to know either. The information is everywhere if they cared to find out what it's like for us living with these profound losses. Thanks for hearing me. I'm just so fed up.
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