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This has been an entirely unexpected experience. My ex boyfriend from over 10 years ago passed away suddenly. I did not keep in touch. Our break up was hard and one sided by me. I know he married about 2 or 3 years ago and in addition to leaving her, they had a young child, an older child from her he adopted and his wife is due in August. I didn't realize how much I thought of him until every memory is filled with sadness now. We both moved on and I am currently married for almost 3 years. My husband has done his best to be understanding but I feel like I can't talk to him about it. I don't have anyone to talk to that knew him. I did go to and was welcomed by his Mom and we hugged but during the memorial it was like I never existed in his life, which is mostly understandable with having a wife. I feel incredible sadness and anger that he was denied a long life of happiness with his family. He influenced so much of who I am now and so many things in my present life make me think of him. It has been a month since he passed and I totally broke down today because of a broken computer because we took computer classes together in highschool. I feel very alone and my best friend who I had kept in contact with died 10 years ago so no one to talk to. Kinda in contact with his friends but I feel I cannot express this with them and they will not be sympathetic since I broke up with him. I feel like I lost both my best friends from highschool and part of college. My ex and I spent so much time together. It made me happy to know he was happy with his family. Now that is crushed and all these memories, good and bad have come back and I feel like it is not Ok for me to be this sad.
Hey, everyone. I need some help here, please. 7 weeks ago, I broke up with my depressed bf. We've been together for almost 3 years and I loved him so much. You know, that kind of love that's so warm, so comforting, so good to feel. It was great. Things started to derail when he lost two close family members last year, which contributed to his depression. I tried my best - for over a year - to support him, give him love and understanding. But his disease took its toll on me. Damn, depression is brutal! He drinks to cope with his pain and, for so many months, pushed me away the hardest he could. He seemed happy with everyone else, but me. I could feel I was losing him, I could feel him slipping through my fingers. And sadly, I'm the only one who realizes this (not even his freaking family acknowledge his depression). Well, he knows he's sick. But he won't seek for any kind of help. So I decided to break up, for my own mental sanity. He said we should go no contact, but, 3 weeks ago, started texting me again. Since the break-up, everything has been so tough. I can't find joy. I still feel this ache in my chest every single day. I miss him so much, all the time. I guess I was his rock, and now he doesn't have me, he started to see that alcohol and his friends aren't enough for him to cope with his never-ending pain. Did any of you go through something similar? Can any of you, please, tell me what I'm supposed to do? I can't stop talking to him - I'm pretty sure he will fall into a even darker place if he feels he's completely alone.