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Showing results for tags 'family estrangement is the new death to grieve'.
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After my Mom died, my sister's family no longer approved of how my Dad lived his life. They stopped communicating with him -- and have now stopped talking to me (since I still have a close relationship with him). I have lost most of my family members because we disagree about how an old man, our Dad/Grandpop, should live his life. Family estrangement is the new death that I am now grieving, and for 10 people all at the same time, who no longer speak to me. I read that this is common -- don't know if that is a new thing, or if it always has occurred -- but family ties seem more flexible. I was taught to stick by your family, but apparantly, all don't feel this way -- not even a sibling that grew up in the same household, with the same parents (and in our family, no physical or mental abuse, rape, or murder occurred, Thankfully). Trusting my sister's family didn't work that well for me, but, at least I have some good memories, and know who they are -- and I learned that if you're not with them 100% -- your against them (in their eyes). They have estranged many important people in their lives, so my Dad and I (and my husband) are not the first. As I have previously written...I work two days a week with my sister (my Dad no longer works with us). I didn't just evaporate when I was dismissed. I don't involve myself - other than to say "goodbye" at the end of the day, but I am not interested in opening myself up to them -- just to feel this loss again. I do love them all, and wish them well in my heart and prayers (as it takes more energy to be angry at them, which, ultimately hurts me). So, I get to see that they are alive -- and that is good enough for now. There are other people who care, and have a gracious spirit towards me, my husband, and my Dad -- they just aren't my sister and her family. I sometimes do wonder how they rationalize and communicate their shunning to people who ask them how their Dad and sister are doing? Sorry -- from my perspective, I see it as disgusting on their part. I also pray for their Souls, as honoring Mom and Dad was a Commandment -- and I wasn't willing (even though I'm not ultra religious) to test my fate when I meet my Maker. I hope there are some who will read this and relate to it -- and maybe you'll even write and share what you have experienced -- and, mostly, how you are coping with it. Thanks for reading...