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Found 12 results

  1. It has been almost a year since I have regularly posted on this specific topic of my journey through grief and healing. Next month it will be four years since my beloved wife(Rose Anne) died. This past year has been full of reflection, and real acceptance of her death. The time line is different for everyone of us and it has been full year of introspection. The loneliness and accepting the reality of all this is what my mind wrestles with daily. Irregardless, life continues to march on one day at a time. Initially, I was certain I was going to die from a broken heart but apparently
  2. Hi, my name is Nikka. It feels strange to be typing all of this out since it is personal but sometimes you have to let it out and get a strangers opinion and support. About 2 weeks ago, my boyfriend of almost 2 years and I made the harsh mutual decision to break up after months of repetitive arguments and a failed attempt at a month long break. These have been the longest 2 weeks of my life and my (now) ex and I have not been able to hault communication for more then 2 days even when we both agree in order to find ourselves we need to stay apart. Let me back up a bit. In April of l
  3. I'm not sure if this is in the right spot or not, but thought I'd share something I did in the wake of my father's recent passing from Covid. I'm an amateur photographer and have taken a ton of photos over the years. My younger sister is the "historian" of the family and has collected old family photos going way back. When my 88 year old father passed away, I found it helpful to create a video slide show using 41 photos dating back to his childhood and ending with photos from when we last got together with him. I then set it to music and uploaded it to YouTube for my siblings and others who we
  4. Hi All, i don’t drop in often, but since discovering this forum about a year and a half ago, it’s very presence has been an enormous comfort for me. It is strange the way grief can leave you feeling alone—exactly at a time when that can hurt the deepest: your greatest time of need. So, my guess is that many of you can relate to that feeling of just knowing there is a place to come to—even if you don’t often do so!—where others voice what is going on in your own heart and mind. It is immensely calming and tremendously supporting. Thank you. It has been an incredibly difficult 10 year
  5. As I was driving to my riding lesson I was thinking about healing and felt something was coming to me but I couldn't explain it. Then, a dialogue began and it was as if I was watching two actors on the stage. It was between a character named Grief and one named Life. The experience began with Grief dominating, and Life being dormant. As time went on Life opened up a little crack, but Grief said, "NO, there is no place for you. This is too tragic." Life said in a quiet voice, "I think I feel myself breathing again." Grief responded, "How could you, you've lost everything." As
  6. My word for this time in my life is "courage." It takes so much of it to live each day. Courage is not the absence of pain, but the ability to recognize it and allow it to flow as profoundly as it needs to. Every day seems to be an act of courage. Get up, move forward. Just put one foot in front of the other. That is enough for now. In time courage begets courage and grows strong and fierce. Fear begins to cower in its presence and pain never needs to hide. Courage is really trust. At times I wanted to lay on the couch and stare at the ceiling all day or allow myself to fall into
  7. I feel like I'm entering a new stage, a new time. I feel immobilized on one level and functional on another. I think I am withdrawing a little more as a realize what a solo journey from tragedy to transformation it is. It is not for lack of loving family and friends, it is just the need to resolve my own loss. I dream about people dying and being at Chloe's service, feeling very sad. It is almost as though the reality of the magnitude of the loss is very sharp now. I am feeling things about her death that I could not feel in those first days. I can see it all, and with that comes a new wave of
  8. Healing? Is that what I can hope for? When a wound heals, sometimes it closes and is no more, other times it heals and leaves a scar, either way there is restoration, repair. Does that mean I will “heal” from this deep gaping wound festering around my heart? How could there be healing, how could that even be a word in this journey? The whole idea angered me, but staying in my initial torchered state was not an option either. A wound closes in time. My heart would never close, and I would never mend or be restored to the person I was. Although Webster’s definition is an appropriate defi
  9. Healing comes by stringing the light together, one at a time. You won't feel like you're pursuing light, you won't even see it as light. It may all feel like darkness, but when you choose to meditate and clear your mind for 5 minutes, one light goes on in your soul, no matter how small. When you take a restorative Yoga class, another one goes on. When you walk in the woods instead of staring at the ceiling, another goes on. You probably won't see it as light, you'll see it as an act of desperation, survival. When you touch a horse, read a book about spiritual growth, read a holy book, le
  10. So my dad died on Sept 7th and I completely missed the 3 month mark. I realized it today. Given it is finals week and I literally spend 12 hours at the library studying and didnt go to bed until 7am, I still feel awful. I was upset and to my mom about it and she thinks its progress. She says that I didnt forget the date but I am not counting the days since he passed like I have been and there will be a day where I stop counting the months. She says that he wouldnt mind but I feel like I am almost forgetting him in a way. She says Im not but I feel like hes so far away. Just n
  11. To everyone that has lost a beloved pet, I am sorry. To everyone experiencing this grief during the holiday season and/or another special occasion, I am sorry. It is tremendous to get through such thoughts and emotions and move forward. Never did I appreciate this before losing Sir Greysby to pancreatitis on November 25th, 2014 after a 30-day fight wherein he tried to live and my husband and I tried to help him win the battle. Never have I gone through such - let alone his passing 2 days before hosting Thanksgiving at my house, which I did do in an almost an out-of-body manner and excus
  12. I had an songwriter and an singer so I could make this final tribute to my beloved Chinook. Unknown to the talent parties, this song was completed on 2-22-14, 2 years to the day Chinook went on to the Rainbow Bridge. Everyone on this site has been so kind and loving, I wanted to share this with you all. Everyone has been so helpful, guiding me to books and sharing your own wisdom and insight. God Bless Tim Smith Phoenix, Arizona. ************OMG, NOVEMBER 4, 2015..... I have been reading some old posts because I was very a little blue missing my Chinook and just realized now after all t
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