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Found 3 results

  1. Jelo

    Help me, I’m broken!

    My baby of 8 yrs whom We spolied and loved more than ourselves was attacked & killed by another dog while boarding in a kennel facility while me & hubby were on vacation.We have no kids and he is our life!There is a huge guilt on our part.What if we didn’t leave him, what if we didn’t go on vacation, all sorts of “what if.”We’re so broken that we both can’t sleep sincecwe found out (12.22.18).We cry ourselves to sleep & wake up crying.We skipped the Christmas celebratiom as we’re both on bed and miserable.I myself can’t & won’t do anything.We haven’t gone back to work.I’ve been so depressed & can’t forgive myself!I’m still grieving for the death of my dear dad in Aug.And now this.. I can’t handle all the pain!So much emotions overwhelmed me.I don’t want to leave my bed as I can’t stand seeing the rest of the house especially our family room where he stayed for 8 yrs.We have our daily routine that haunts me every second.Please I need advice & help! Thanks!
  2. Hey, this is my first post ever, anywhere, and I am not sure if I am posting in the right place, but thought I might give it a try. I'll give a little bit of an overview with a background so hopefully I am not repetitive. I just recently lost my 25 year old brother to a heroin overdose...I was living in a different state just waiting a few days later to leave back to my hometown. I got a call from my mom on November 5th and my life changed from there. Now let me tell you, my brother has overdosed 5 times before that (but this last time he was 4 months clean prior). He was struggling for YEARS with drugs but I am not too sure how long with heroin. I remember seeing him "jonesing" and the aggressive, manipulative, withdrawing side of him, but never understood why until my parents told me. Ok so fast forward back to this past 5 months. I was in a different state and my brother called me up asking for money, I contemplated on and on as he sounded so desperate and I needed to figure out what his actual motive was, so I called my dad and asked if he was okay. Conclusion included me NOT giving my brother the money he begged me for. We had a falling out and I, regretfully, did not talk to him after that, but I did not block him, in hopes that maybe he WOULD be better one day and reach out to me if he wanted to talk. I guess I waited too long to go home. I can't help but feel like if he knew I was coming home, that he wouldn't have taken that last shot of heroin. I can't help but feel that I didn't show him exactly how much I loved him, but the old him, the sweet kid I remember. The sweet older brother that defended me, held me when i was a baby and just see the love in his eyes being an older brother. Along side him was my oldest brother, they were BEST friends. I miss my brother so much and I wish so badly that things didn't leave off this way... I don't think I have been able to fully grieve due to the fact I am extremely empathetic, so if I am either busy, on the move, or with someone that is happy or peaceful, I generally feel the same...but in the back of my mind I am depressed. The only way i was ONCE able to get my true feelings out was the day after I got home, I got a 6 pack and went to my friends house and broke down. That was the 1 time I feel I actually started truely feeling the effects of this loss. Ever since then I have not drank, so in hand I feel my mind does not let me go to that place where I need to go to start healing. I feel like I am stuck in a loop with my feelings. I mostly feel regret, anger, and sadness all at once but again, my mind won't let me get that out. I don't know what to do and I am truly hoping that I can get some input on this, because I feel like Im not grieving the right way. Please help
  3. Hi, I have read lots of different stories on here, and I feel like id like to vent, and also be able to have some people to talk to and for you all to give me advice, I would like to keep you all updated on every stage, and will come back regularly, so that people in my postion can follow what is happening. Okay so me and my girlfriend have been together 1 year and a half, we have had the most amazing relationship, i constantly smile when i am around her, and get so excited to see her, she is my world. she is the girl i would one day like to marry, and have children with. but that is a long way off, its just when i look to the future she is always in it. My girlfriend lives in the UK with me, not with me but in the same area. Her dad lives in America. He is a cowboy, she thinks the world of her dad. At christmas she went to visit him, she had the most amazing time, and couldn't wait to come back to me to tel me all about it, and for us to start our new year together. She left to the airport, got to london, and as soon as she got back, not even had a chance to get to me, she had a phone call that her dad had a accident, it was bad enough for her to have to fly back that day to him. He was in intensive care, had tubes everywhere, and the future wasn't looking god. He hung in there, he fought to survive. She came home a month later,her dad was recovering, but couldn't move from the neck down. My girlfriend was devastated, she told me before she come home, i should read up on grief, because she will be going through it, I did a little, but when she got back she seemed okay, she did seem not like her normal self, but that was understandable. We tried to enjoy ourselves but things started to not be the same, we weren't as close, she was living with me at the time in my parents house, because we got broken into before she went to america, she is so independant she didn't like it and needed her space, i guess we were probably annoying each other with that too, it wasnt ideal. anyway back on track, things weren't the same, but she never spoke to me about any of it, i felt like she didn't love me any more, i kept hassling her, asking why she is being like this, i didn't even think about the grief, i think i was being selfish but didn't realise at the time. She fund a flat to move into, a few things happened and we bickered a bit, and then she split up with me, telling me she needs to be on her own.. she didn't give me any explanations, i had to come to my own conclusions. its not a situation i have ever been in before. so its hard to get my head around. I love her, i wish she needed me so i could help her through this horrible time she is going through. I have spoken to her a bit, at the beginning i was pressurising her, asking if we will be okay, she kept saying she thinks we will be, but after a few days of not hearing from her, id end up calling her again, wanting to hear the same thing, eventually i think i pushed it too far, she said she is happier on her own, and this is the right decision for her. After reading these posts, i know that i cant pressure her, i text her last night, saying I've read up on greif and understand why she has done this. she seemed happy that i read up on it, and that i am understanding. Next week she is going to see her dad for easter. i hope it is a positive trip. We have tickets to see a concert on the 6th, i hope we still go, before i pushed her too far she said she wanted to still go with me. i will let you know how everything goes, i just want some advice really, how do i play it, if she wont contact me shall i still contact her, just to let her know im thinking of her, i dont want to push her away, but i dont want her to move on with out me. Reading other posts have really made me feel better about it all, knowing its not as uncommon as i thought, however i really hope we end up okay. I know she loves me, im hoping its just time she needs. I want to be there for her, i hope this doesn't end us, its seems so unfair for something that is beyond our control to finish our relationship, when it has not ended naturally. Any stories where this has happened and it ended happily ever after would be amazing, im trying to think positively about it all! Thank you guys if you reply, i really need some support that aren't my friends and family right now.. they cant seem to understand why she is doing this, and think she is doing it on purpose, and are not being very good about it, they have to understand, that if the accident didn't happen, wed be together, she told me that.. its this that has done it to us! Please help!!!
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