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Hi everyone! I have been dealing with anticipatory grief most of my life but it is only after a year in therapy that i realised it. My mother has been nearly dying many times in my life (freak asymptomatic double pneumonia, botched surgery leading to constant infections, grapefruit-sized ovarian cyst, breast cancer, septic choc and more). I have always treated those events with a bit of distance. Moved out of the family home as soon as i could as i am an only child and my dad works full time. That allowed me to choose when and how i would help rather than trying to do as much as possible
My dad past away in May of this year. My grandad called and told me this sad news and told me he got with the city program and eternity funeral home so he can be cremated because the family didn't have money to bury him. Now this is going to be long but I have been dealing with this since May and I have to let this out. He also discussed this with my uncle over the phone while he was at the funeral home making the arrangements. I know i didn't have the money and my uncle didn't either but my thing is my grandad did not make the effort from the start or even bring up the idea to have a proper b