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  1. So here I am, almost exactly one year after closure from the last time I was here. I have moved on, I have not seen, or talked to the girlfriend I wrote about here before in 13 months. I have a new person in my life I care for. And today. Her grandmother died. Now all I can feel is the rush of hopelessness and helplessness I felt for the majority of 2016. The pain is overwhelming. It has only been a couple hours. My new lady has not given me any indication that she would withdraw but I cannot seem to escape the fear that history will repeat itself. I have sent a reply simply a
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