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  1. Hey guys, anyone have difficulty relating to siblings while their parent was ill, ailing or recently passed? My siblings and I squabble here and there about how various situations should be handled, but more than anything, I think we are all paralyzed with fear. In a weird way, we remind each other of mom, and that reminds us that there is a problem. Also, when we do get together it is difficult to find other things to talk about and we often swirl the drain or depressing thoughts and topics related to mom. I know that we will need each other when this is all over, but I'm worried that we are losing touch. It's tough to be around each other right now. Anyone else experience this? Tips for getting over it?
  2. My sister is battling brain cancer. At first when she shared the news we had some good visits But now when I offer to visit she tells her husband to tell me she is too tired. I have a feeling she doesn't want me to see her like this and she feels she cannot keep up a strong front when I am there. I wish I could reassure her she does not need to do that. Her husband does not explain whys he says "no." and I don't want to push it on him because he is overwhelmed. He suggested that I phone her directly. But would that be intrusive if she is tired and can't concentrate? I don't want to make my sister's troubles worse with these contacts, but at the same time, I think once I am there and she sees I can handle it calmly, it will be okay. I did offer to help with the care or sit with her while the husband goes out, and her husband declined. I have been sending her e-mails with a gentle "I am thinking of you" but no response. I can't tell if she likes the e-mails but just can't respond do to failing control of her hands, etc. There is no one else in the family who knows what to do. The husband is the only one with her and said he would prefer I address this directly with my sister.
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