Trying to forget the abusive bf

[Gettingthrough79]

I'm not stupid. I said hurtful things to him and I understand he feels insulted.

I've apologized over and over and I never cheated or (atleast in my opinion) did anything that bad to have him put me down so bad.

He said once he feels so insulted all feelings were lost for me. 

 I am so scared to be alone and miss both him and my mother so much it makes me sick. My whole world got turned upside down. Normally I would be asking her advice and talking to her right now but instead I am sitting alone in an empty house pining for both of them.

I also just lost my mother but he never mentions her nor seems to care about my grief. I am suffering from a doubly broken heart and do not know how to get through.

I always ignore red flags. He told me in the beginning when he would break up with someone, he would just be sitting at the bar and his friends would come over and tell him how devastated the girl was, yet he would just shake his head and not care.

I never learn.

[kayc]

He's given you a host of red flags, my dear.  We can't help the past...NOW is that time to learn.  Come away stronger, wiser.

[JanBlu]

I can relate to this after having to let go of a relationship. To this day I still don't know if it was the right thing to do or a major mistake :/ Sometimes life is very grey and has to be accepted as such. I am so sorry for your pain

In my situation, I have to remind myself that it wouldn't have worked to stay with them and that it was the best thing I could have done for the person- letting go. They blossomed and their life got better.