Jump to content
Grief Healing Discussion Groups

Psychic Reading With My Mom.....?


Recommended Posts

I've been rather quiet here of late, because of what just happened. I'd waited 2 years to try a reading with my Mom, through a psychic I've used a few times in the past and finally had this done this week, along with the other 2 readings I needed - one for my living furbaby and the other for her brother, who's been transitioned for 6 years now. I'd had successful validations from this woman before and she's the only one I know of who reads both animals and people, and having just had the first 2 readings done, and feeling they were pretty accurate on the whole, I was looking forward to finally getting more directly in touch with my Mom, for whom I had a TON of questions, plus things I needed to tell her myself. Among my questions, there were a couple that dealt with family/her history which have been praying on my mind ever since she passed - very important to me to get answers to, and no one in the family left who I could check these things out with on this plane. I even told my Mom beforehand that I really needed her to cooperate in this, to ease the many aches and confusions in my heart, so to please open up fully to this communicator, for the sake of me, her only daughter, who's been suffering long enough already from having the misfortune of being a member of our family!

I also always operate on the assumption that my loved ones KNOW my heart already, on a daily basis, which only makes sense if we're truthfully connected to everyone, especially the ones we've been so close to on earth. The funny thing was, 2 days before this reading, one of the main pictures I have of her had gone askew in its frame, which I KNOW I would have noticed ( and corrected ) the last time I'd dusted 2 wks. before, and even after that, as I'm always looking at it....so it seemed like a sign that she was ready and waiting to have a chat with me. I was hopeful, and was fully expecting that, if we got through to her at all, there would be much healing between us, as this was the main point of everything. To put some 'completion' on things was my goal, so that I could really feel, wholly, like 'getting on with my life'.

Now I'm so bitterly disappointed, and worst of all, ANGRY, I don't know what to do. During the reading, it really seemed at times like this was my Mom speaking, with some of her 'former' personality coming through, but at other times I wondered if this was more a reflection of the communicator's own thoughts. The first while turned out to contain many apologies from my Mom for essentially not having loved me well enough as a mother, which I'd fully expected ( and the communicator not having known a thing about me and my family of origin's relationships ), so I was buying this as valid. After all, for all this medium knew, we'd had a wonderful relationship. Some of the reading was too general in nature for me to feel it was definitely the truth. Other little snippets were quite specific to my Mom and our relationship. I couldn't get any names of other loved ones at all, except for one nickname that might have been a possible. While I did get quite a long answer to one of my more troubling questions, and it validated what I'd been told by one aunt, it wasn't the more important question I'd had to ask.( However, it was so bang-on that it seemed to be quite the validation that this was indeed my Mom )

For that very specific question, my Mom came back saying she refused to discuss it! It was too 'upsetting' to her, even while on this different plane, and was something that was supposed to have been left buried, forever. Now, I could argue that this reaction certainly echoed how my Mom would have been about this matter on the earthly plane, I also believe most if not all of those earthly contraints to being at peace with things should disappear once we've crossed, at least after 2 years, earth-time! But since she seemed to have realized much about our relationship, and more specifically her role in it in the past, and also that I'd been pleading with her beforehand to help me to heal by giving me these answers to these mysteries in our family, I would have thought she'd be able to get beyond her earthly reactions in order to effect the healing between us that she'd just talked about earlier in the reading. Not only that, but because a central theme with this particular question was its relation to my living brother, the one who's made life an absolute hell for me since our Mother died. The answer to this question might have even had the after-effect of providing some healing for me, if only in my head, with this brother, my Mom's 'favourite' son. I would have thought that she would most certainly 'get' that, and want that, especially after having talked also about the "wisdom" one gains after crossing. But NO....she wouldn't discuss this 'touchy' subject with me...even though she's now dead to the earth and no one's left who's even capable of ever talking about it, except for me and this brother, who won't talk to me anyway. And in fact, from the few comments I heard about it, it seems there might have even been a bit of a twist to what I'd already heard tell of, that would also fit into the story quite nicely and would help explain all sorts of other things that went on in the past....again, bringing some closure and healing to ME, through the understanding of what went on. However, since I wasn't 'allowed' to ask anything further about it, now I'm left with even MORE of a mystery than the one I've already lived with for about 17 years! Now, I figure, if my Mom really loved me as much as she said she does, she'd also be well aware of how this would only ADD to my consternation, grief, frustration and anger...and who would want to do that to their own daughter? How could any of one's past still bother someone supposedly surrounded by so much peace and love?

So I'm left wondering if the whole thing was totally bogus, which also doesn't make sense because of all the previous readings I've had done with this woman, some of which just blew me away with their accuracy. So if it was real, what I realized awhile after this reading is that.....my Mom STILL doesn't love me the way I'd choose to be loved, and all that fancy chatter about how wronged I'd been by her, can't be very sincere, either! So MUCH to my surprise, instead of coming away with a sigh of relief, I ended up angrier with my Mom than I've EVER been before!! I'd never even gone through more than a couple of tiny moments of anger at her ( as is suggested by so many grief 'experts' as one of the hallmark reactions of grief ), but NOW.....NOW I'm filled with utter disgust and rage! This is TOO ironic....just as almost everything to do with her death has been, all along! Now here's another irony! I'd expected some peace, but got a whole ton more aggravation!

The other thing really bothering me is that I've heard about and read about, and even seemed to partially experience myself, the 'involvement' of passed loved ones working behind the scenes, so to speak, to help the ones left behind in matters that concerned and worried them. I've read about some of the most uncanny turnarounds in situations, which were believed by others to be direct manipulations of events to aid those wronged over someone's passing. Considering the number of abominations that I've been subjected to from within the family since my Mom died, I also half-expected my Mom to offer to help with some of the remaining problems.....if she loved me as much as she claimed. I mean, if it's happened to other people, why not me? But there was also none of that apparent in this reading. All I got was that my brother has a real "attitude" and "shame on them!" for doing what they've done to me, and that it's just "not worth it" to fight for my legal and moral rights in this situation. I wanted to argue the point, just as we would have in real life when we didn't agree with each other's viewpoints, but didn't have the time to spend on that, since my list of questions was so long and I didn't want to miss anything. BUT...upon reflection afterwards, I realized that if this reading was to be believed, then my Mom had done the same thing my father and brother had done, that being not recognizing and acknowledging my status, role and history, and the rights associated with all that, in our family. :angry: After about an hour of this reeling around in my head and heart, I was furious!! My Mom had left me out in the cold just as surely as had everyone else! Too bad, so sad, I'm at peace and having a wonderful time, and you're not - oh, well...tra-la! And supposedly here she was, STILL feeling "sorry for" this rat-bastard of a brother who's been the driving force behind all of this injustice!

There was more, but the long and short of it is that I was not left with any of that peace myself.....in fact, the entire opposite! I can't totally discount this psychic's abilities, yet I want to be able to do that because of what came through being so awful to me, personally. And all I know now, for certain, is that I'm so damn MAD at my Mom for still being so selfish and unhelpful, taking away all the forgiveness that had sprung naturally from my heart when she died. And here, she even wanted me to take on a huge project for her, in her honour ( I was foolish enough to ask whether there was anything else I could do to that end ).....ironically, this was just her typical style in our lives - YOU, daughter, do THIS, because it's somthing I'm interested in but don't want to do it myself..so YOU do it so I can get pleasure from it through you! So this certainly sounded like her, making the whole thing harder to discount. I've LOST, not gained...and I'm mad as hell about that, too! This has turned out to be such an unexpected slap in the face.....the same sort of garbage I've suffered from within my family, and without, for far too long and too many times in my life already. Now I don't know WHAT to do, or think, or even BE, to carry on! I feel like I've been betrayed......AGAIN...even by our Creator, who has allowed this to unfold this way...as if creating even more anger in my life is going to benefit me more than the softer feelings of forgiveness and love that I'd carried towards my Mom, which I'd considered real blessings up 'til now. All of that is GONE now, in one short hour's time. I'm completely lost now...all that progress, shot to hell.

Edited by Maylissa
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Dear Maylissa,

What an experience! I don't know whether I believe in psychics or not. I've never been to one. I believe in physchic powers, just not sure about the people who do it as a business. It's funny you bring this whole "trying to get answers" thing up because I have recently been going through the same thing. I have been trying to find out exactly what happened to "the love of my life". He's been dead for 26 years and his death was always a mystery of sorts. I decided to try to find out any details I could and finally put to rest the whole thing in my mind. I wanted to know exactly what happened. Well, to make a long story short, even after talking to many different sources, it is still a mystery. I will never know for sure what happened. I've had to accept it. As hard as it is for me to give up a losing battle, that's all I can do at this point. I guess there are some mysteries in our life that will always remain mysteries.

Sorry you had such a bad reading. Maybe it's sometimes best for us to just figure out what we THINK was the case and let it go at that, I don't know.

How is your baby doing?

Hang in there, and try to put your mind at rest,

Shell

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Shell,

I guess what really bothers me about mysteries is that my whole family life involved never knowing what was really going on with everyone, or why, and the feelings of great insecurity that that caused. Most of their behaviours were so unpredictable, in the sense of never knowing when anyone would be nice, or nasty....half-normal, or seemingly insane! Hence my love of logic, honesty, straightforwardness, and the KNOWN....with a concurrent fear and loathing of the opposites of those. Additionally, some of these mysteries surrounding my Mom could have a direct impact on my own health issues, as I may have an increased risk of certain, female problems....or NOT, depending on which stories are true and which are false. And so again, if my Mom really cared about me, you'd think she'd want to alleviate those concerns if they weren't valid, and conversely, alert me to them if they were. I don't want to have to try to get this info. from her medical records, because in Canada we now have a medical privacy act which is a real b**** to try and get around, and I'm so afraid I'd just add to my frustrations if I tried to access her records. Plus, this would only give me the bare facts, and not the explanation around them, so it would have been nice to hear about that side 'straight from the horse's mouth' instead.

There was no sense in asking her about these things when she was still alive here, as I'd already been given her versions, many years ago, and one aunt already told me my Mom didn't want me to know about one particular thing ( the thing she actually DID talk about in the reading, strangely ) because she felt it would only upset me and add to my burdens.....which also tells me my Mom never knew me very well, either, which is incredibly sad for me. And when I'd tried to see if she was ready to discuss anything when I was back to see her the last time, she simply said, "Don't talk about it!". My Mom was a "stuffer" in many ways and remained so until the day she died - her choice, but my problem, now. This is another reason why I'm so furious at her NOW, as there were also some inappropriate things she told me...things a mother shouldn't be sharing with her daughter, especially at the age I was at when some of them were shared...and yet....when I WANT to know about other things, and am certainly now a more appropriate age to hear and handle them, and I tell her it would now help me to know them...THEN I'm refused! What kind of nonsensical thinking is THAT? Oh!! I'm just SO MAD!!! She may be in spirit, but she's still gotta lot of 'splainin' to do!! :angry:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Wow, I am so sorry to hear about all that you have went through with your mom and family. That is really tough not to get the answers or receive help from your mom even when you need it the most. I believe a little about psycic readings, but sometimes have a hard time believing accuracy. I have read a lot of books and I have been to a lot of seminars where mediums have demonstrated psyhic powers. I like going because it brings hope that someone can see and hear spirits. I always think about it, but I guess for me, what it really comes down too, is that my mother is not physically here and that's all I know, and can see. So I leave it at that.

But back to what you were saying. Accuracy plays a part in knowing if you were really communicating with your mom, etc. You say she's been accurate in the past, so hopefully this time you were really communicating with your mom. Also I heard that the spirit keeps their same personality even after gone from the earthly plane. My mother would always tell me this story of how she contacted her mother and grandmother years ago through a medium. She said her mom was real nice and generous, but her grandmother was really mean and strict. Well, when the contact was made, her grandmother jumped into the medium's body before her mother could. Even though the mother was called first. They were all shocked, but knew that's how her grandmother was when she was on earth. From there they believed they were really talking to the grandmother. So if the personality came out, then you were really talking to your mother. I'm not sure why she wouldn't give you the answers you needed. That's a good question. You'd think that once they left this plane (the selfish human plane), that they would be spiritually growing and would want to help someone who needs them. I don't know, I guess that's where it gets confusing with me. I don't understand. I rack my brains all day thinking about my loved ones in the spirit world. Sometimes I just have to let it go. I guess what it comes down to is, my mommy is not here. And I try to leave it at that. I don't know.

I hope you find the answers you need. It seems really tough even after so many years to still be wondering about the mysteries.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Maylissa,

I have no idea if these things are legit or not, but there are tons of sites that supposedly can get medical records and all sorts of other things. You probably have seen some advertised, but if not go to a search engine and put in "people search" or "records". It will give you tons of them. Might be simpler than going through the red tape of the regular way. Her medical records should give you some kind of info on her health conditions.

I know how mad you are and how hard it is to accept not getting answers. Especially when they concern your health, both physically and emotionally.

Is there any one relative that you trust more than others that might be able to give you some of these answers?

Good luck with it,

Shell

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Shell,

Spent some time yesterday looking through those search services, but it doesn't look like any of them can 'skirt the law' anymore than I can. The newer privacy laws on medical history/info here go beyond reasonable now. ( and ironically, these just came in in the last few years - had Mom died a bit earlier, I'd be having no problem with this! ) I might have a slim chance of getting certain pieces from my Mom's history, ( through govt. avenues ) but they would have to be considered relevant to my own health, and I'm not sure everything I want to know would fall under that sort of consideration. I'ts just unbelievable to me how getting health records about an already DEAD person could be harmful to them! If you ask me, NOT having access to my own parent's records is part of what's ruining my physical and mental health!!

No, I have no other relatives who don't already have dementia who could verify what I need to know....maybe just gossip, but that's not good enough. ( I just found out yet ANOTHER one of my Mom's sisters has it, too! ) One cousin had heard some of the same things, but this was also from her mother, the same Aunt who'd told me...and now I just found out this last week that this Aunt has what's called late-stage schizophrenia and there's little telling how long it's been affecting her - so maybe as long ago as when she first told me these stories.

From what she told me, and from what little was said during this communication, what it's looking like to me is that it's possible that my evil brother maybe had a different father than I and that that's also related to why he's handicapped. ( it's the HOW and WHY of his physical problem that I need to know about, as it may involve my father, too and would explain TONS about lots in our family ) This wouldn't surprise me, as my Mother claims she's with an old boyfriend who she knew in her late teens, which jibes with her having told me about a man she dated before she knew my father, a man she was really in love with and who she'd actually kept in contact with all through the years. Another communication someone did for me ( a free one ) had mentioned this man's name, which was verified by this Aunt for me as the one I remembered and the one that was mentioned in this other reading. In that one, too, my Mom also said she was with this man....and they have a beautiful garden ( my Mom was a consumate gardener, as am I ) where they're busy growing tomatoes. This was a key message for me, as me and my Mom always compared successes/failures about our gardens, but most notably our tomatoes. But I digress....what's important, record-wise, is that certain things would tell me if my Mom lied about the reason for my brother's condition, and ultimately this would also tell me if she also lied about something concerning her health around my birth. I've had my own suspicions for many years, and now I just feel that since she's gone and never 'came clean' with me, I've carried around fear about things I might be at risk of getting for too long....especially since they may not have even existed in the first place! Is it any wonder I'm so mad at my Mom now?! How UNloving is that, deliberately setting up fears of disease in your child's life, when it was possibly just a story to cover up another reality?!?! I even remember, vaguely, one of my own doctors raising her eyes in puzzlement when she'd asked about my Mother's medical background...and all I could say was that's what I'd been told...should have asked her what exactly was a red flag for her about my answer....but you trust your parents, at least until you grow up and find out maybe too many things they told you didn't deserve your trust!

Whichever way it really is, I NEED to know! I can't properly process ANYTHING unless I know what I should be reacting to and what I can drop. Why should I have to process more than what's really 'required'? My own Mother set me up to hate mysteries and the unknown.....not the nicest thing to do, given that that's what any supposed continuing life is all about from our earthly perspective! This is why this reading was so ironic....just like everything else concerning my Mother's death. My Mom could be so generous, but also so incredibly selfish, too, and this is how her personality seems to me to be coming through in this reading, telling me the reading is to be believed. Yet that also means she didn't and still doesn't seem to know what real love is all about, even for her own, lone daughter...and that's what's killing me. I don't want to waste my time grieving so much for someone who didn't really love me, or doesn't love me still. Yet, if it wasn't a true reading, that changes my perspective. YAHHHHHHH!!!!! I'm going CRAZY with this!!!! :wacko::wacko::wacko:

Edited by Maylissa
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Maylissa,

I forgot about the new privacy laws, although I shouldn't have, considering all the junk you have to fill out and sign now when you visit a doctor! That would put a stumbling block in the whole process. I think you should definitely be able to get access to your parents health records after they pass on. It's ridiculous! Of course, I think the whole medical field is getting ridiculous!

Wow, the readings with your mom are really fascinating. Frustrating for you, but fascinating. Have you talked to your doctor about all this? Maybe he/she would have some suggestions. I'm thinking there might be some tests or something that could rule out (or in) some of your health concerns. Or maybe they could request your moms records for you in some way? If they have reason to "suspect" you might have something, then they may be able to get access to the records. I don't know, I'm just throwing ideas around!

You sound so much like me. I, too, cannot let go of something that I feel I have to know to "set myself free", so to speak. I am like a dog with a bone when I'm trying to find information. I'm very persistent! So I also know how maddening it can be to not be able to settle this. Keep thinking, and hunting, and trying different avenues!

Good luck,

Shell

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...