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4 months


slw60

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My baby boy has been gone almost 4 months now and tonight is another night where grief has overcome me, and I'm crying uncontrollably instead of sleeping. Tomorrow is another day I will go into work with puffy eyes, and if someone asks me what is wrong I will just brush them off, because I don't feel like dealing with the odd looks and half-hearted sympathies I receive when I say I'm grieving the loss of my dog. I miss him so much and feel like a part of me just fell away into nothingness when he died. I know that time heals and it won't always feel this way, but right now it is unbearable and even still, I can't accept that I will go the rest of my life without ever seeing him again. All I can hope for is the possibility of an afterlife that I don't really believe in, and that leaves me with a feeling that I can't exactly put into words, but if I had to describe it as something it would be desolate. I would give anything to see him again.

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My dear, my heart goes out to you, our dogs mean everything to us.  They have been our faithful companions when all others failed us, they are uplifting, de-stressing, and always happy to see us.  I can only try to imagine your pain.  I have lost many dogs over the years for I'm old now and I have had dogs all of my life.  The one I have right now I am closer to, partly because I'm alone and partly because he is the perfect dog for me.  When he goes, I don't know how I'll survive, but probably much like I did the loss of my husband, one day at a time.  The intensity diminishes with time, which is good because I don't think I could handle it if it didn't, but we continue to miss them always.

Anyone who thinks you should be over it hasn't lost a dog that they were close to and invested in.  There are some who don't even let their dogs in the house!  The ones that haven't interacted with them and developed a close relationship with them, are not going to understand.

If you're having a hard time getting enough sleep you might want to see a doctor about getting a sleep aid that is safe and right for you.  It's hard to function at work without sleep.  It's important to take care of yourself, all the more so when you least feel like it.    Eat something healthy, take a walk, drink plenty of water.  And try to get sleep.

This will take however long it takes, it takes quite some time to get used to the changes it's made in your life.  

If it's any consolation, most people, not just religious people, believe in some form of afterlife.  Energy does not die, it merely changes form, so I think of "death" as more of a "transition" than anything, to what is to come.  I believe with all my heart we will be reunited with those we love, including our pets, we are connected so deeply, I don't see how it could be any other way.  I do believe we will remember them, but even if that were not so, what drew us together to begin with would still draw us together again.

(((hugs)

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  • 2 weeks later...

I will say it to you then! :)  I firmly believe we will be with our beloved pets again, I count on it!  We've talked in the spouse section about having faith as the grain of a mustard seed, which is really tiny, and believe you will be together in the next life.  Energy doesn't die, it merely changes form, and we are very much energy...the physical body dies but the spirit lives on.  It's something hard to "prove" but there's been countless times people have physically died and been brought back and their stories are remarkably similar.  We may not know everything about what is to come, but I think of them as transitioning rather than dying...their body gives out, but their spirit continues.  It gives me great hope just to know my husband, parents, pets, etc. are still out there somewhere, we will find each other.  I believe we retain our memories but even if I'm wrong, what drew us together once will do so again.  

 

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