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One Month Anniversary


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April 3rd was the one month anniversary of my darling husband's passing. One month.  I can't believe it's only been one month since he's been gone.  It feels like it's been forever already.  I miss him so badly and I desperately long to hear his voice, to feel his hug, to see his sparkling eyes smiling at me, to talk to him about my day and share a laugh, everything.  I can't sleep. I can't eat.  My life as I knew it is no more.  I go to work and put on my happy face, but once I'm home, I crumble.  The house is quiet and cold now.  It's a shell that holds memories of a once wonderful and joyful life.

We've been happily married for 24 years, happily together for 26.  I was 24 when we met and now a widow at 50.  He's been with me for half of my life.  He was my best friend.  How do you recover from the loss of the love of your life?  The loss of your soulmate?  How?   How do you stop the deep pain in your heart where there is now a gaping hole?  How do you stop the sickening panic and terror from settling in when you realize that he's gone forever and you won't see him again until you meet up in Heaven?  

I guess it's all really starting to hit me that he's truly gone.  The first couple weeks were a blur of family and friends swooping in to help me out.  Now that the newness of him being gone has worn off and everyone has gone on with their lives, I'm finding myself facing my worst nightmare come true.  He's gone.  

Lord, help me to pick up the pieces.  Help me to take these first frightening steps as a newly widowed woman, into my new life without him.  I didn't want this new life, but I have no choice.  It has been forced onto me without my consent and there's nothing I can do about it.  All I can do is remember the beautiful life I had with the love of my life and realize that I was so blessed to have him in my life and I probably won't be blessed like that again.  

I'm sure there are a lot of you that can relate to my story.  How do you do it?

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... one moment at a time.

My wife and I were married for twenty five years and together for almost 26 years.  I couldn't imagine one day without her yet it is now over two years since she suddenly passed away . I was in such shock for a long time.  Most people outside of this group really do not understand the grief and saddness we experience.  I was just not prepared for the aftermath.  Fortunately, I found this forum after two weeks and you are welcome to read my initial posts as well as many others to realize that you are not alone.

The grief you and many of us here experience is a result of the deep love we have for our beloved.  It is another expression of the love we have for them.  I have learned many things in this forum and there is a great support group here of people who, love, share , and care. 

It really helps to share and express to someone who will listen and care. My prayers are for you daily and welcome to the group that none of us wanted to join.  And yet it does help to share in this grief journey.  There is much to learn and MartyT, has many helpful resources here.   You are not alone or crazy.  You miss your beloved husband. - Shalom, George

 

 

 

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As George said.....we all take it one moment at a time....that's all we can do. And as for your question "how do you recover from the loss of the love of your life?"....unfortunately you don't you just learn to live with it. I'm almost at the 4 month mark and I'm barely holding on. I wish I had some words to comfort you but all I can say is after awhile you learn to accept the new reality....wander through it.....at least that's what I do. This new life could never be like the old one though we all wish it could be but it's still a life nevertheless....your still here for a reason....a purpose as we all are. 

Remember you are not alone....we are all here to listen and support you. 

 

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3 hours ago, Mike's Girl said:

 All I can do is remember the beautiful life I had with the love of my life and realize that I was so blessed to have him in my life and I probably won't be blessed like that again.  I'm sure there are a lot of you that can relate to my story.  How do you do it?

Mike's Girl,

When my wife Tammy died suddenly on March 6th 2015, I didn't think I could go on. She was, after all, my whole life, my world. In an instant, my world felt like a cold, empty place of nothingness. Well, nothing but sadness. As others have said, all you can do is live in the moment and take things one step at a time. Often, those steps go backwards. It's just the way this new life is.

You're only a month into grieving the man you loved. This is a process. A learning experience in many ways. When I was early in my grief, I had no idea how I was going to live without my Tammy. Somehow you find a way. I mean, life will never be the same (it couldn't be) but we really only have one choice as survivors and that's to try to live our life the best we can.

One thing a member here told me a very long time ago gave me the "oomph" I needed to change my mindset a bit. They told me that, I was no longer the Mitch I was before I met Tammy. That I was now a combination of the two of us. And that resonated with me. Tammy will always live on as a part of me, heart and soul.

This kind of loss is as difficult as anything any of us will ever handle. We lost someone who loved us like no other. Who we loved more than life itself. We lost our best friend. Truth is, when they died, our world came to an abrupt and grinding halt. It will take time and effort to find your way. I know right now everything seems so gray and bleak. You're lost. All you want is to rewind the clock and go back in time to be with him. That's all very normal. It is a monumental loss.

I found it really helped me to post here. I knew others would understand my loss. It's just about the only place I found that actually gave me some comfort when I was near the brink of simply giving up.

Mitch

 

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