Response To Hans & Alice

[Sally]

Hans and Alice: I was so happy to read both your responses-not because you are suffering (especially you Alice), but because I felt so connected with others in my grief. This gave me some much needed strength right now. I am still struggling, but I am becoming calmer. I do believe in God in my heart of hearts. I have had too many "miracles" in my life occur, including during my mother's illness. I think that if one believes in the goodness of God, then one will probably face the fact the evil exists too. With that in mind, I think there is a great "discourager" just as there is a great "Encourager" surrounding us at all times. I think that I have been muddled in this discouragement, but I am beginning to lift out of it. God has always been faithful to me, so I will remain faithful to him, even in my moments of great sadness and anger. I think it is ok for us to question His existence when we witness things like death. It is normal. I think death is an ugly thing. In fact, I know it for sure now. That is why eternal life is so special-we know what the opposite is. I hope this is making sense. I am trying to work this all out in my mind, heart and soul as I type these words. I do know that my mother always told me that she could not live without hope. She had great faith-not like some kind of fanatic. She was just so kind and accepting of people. She really believed that we came from something incredibly good. This is her legacy-one I can't turn my back on. I pray for all of you out there who are grieving. God bless you all. Please email me if you want to talk.

[mermangel0416]

hello again sally~

so glad to hear that you are feeling more positive. actually your response lifted my spirits and inspired me...guess i was having a pretty bad day when i replied tp you. i still struggle with things but i guess mostly it is just coming to terms with what you can not control or understand. i guess that's what faith is, believing that even if we don't know all of the how's and why's we try to hold on to the fact that there is something greater that we are a part of and there is a purpose and meaning in all that occurs even if we don't see it immediately, if at all. your mother's statement that she couldn't live without hope is quite a profound one and i guess if we had NO HOPE then there would truly be no point in going on. i know that i have hope in my heart and i see that hope reflected back at me in the eyes of my son...and in the fact that i am 14 weeks pregnant with another child. they say that "a baby is god's opinion that life should go on" so i guess in my way, each day i choose to go on, to have hope and in that way i am honoring my dad...who was the wonderful father of six children: what WAS? IS and always will be. hope you continue to "have hope" and keep in touch, i have a feeling the holidays will be a hurdle! take care ~alice