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Marg, I, too, wish I'd done more for my mom.  I tried to be there for her, I was always there for her to talk to...now I know how she must have felt all those 32 years she was widowed and alone.  I'm living it.

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15 hours ago, mittam99 said:

 

Thank you both. Winter time is a struggle for me. Tammy was so sick that last winter and it brings back so much pain and anguish now. It feels so cold both emotionally and literally. Tammy's not here to snuggle up to and her empty side of the bed reinforces what I once had. The love of my life is gone.

Life seems to go in 24 hour cycles. If I have a bad day, I do try my best to make the next one better. I am trying to find some meaning and purpose.  Yet ultimately, it's still an unpleasant, uncomfortable Groundhog Day kind of life, devoid of love.

I've wondered how you're faring with the East coast weather we're hearing about on the news.  And to hear how it affects you because of the memories with Tammy, well that just makes it all the harder.  You're in my thoughts...

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Today would have been Tammy's 50th birthday. It is still so staggeringly painful knowing that she only got 45 years on this earth. How she struggled for more than half her life with catastrophic illness(es). Tammy had a heart of gold and an infectious smile. Everyone that got to know her, loved her. I was blessed to be the one she chose as her husband. I was blessed to have her in my life for 15+ years. I will always love her and cherish her and honor her. She was my everything. My one and only, forever and always.

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Mitch, yesterday was a poignant day...your Tammy, and my dad, both born on the same day of the year...he would have been 100 had he lived.  My parents would have been married 67 years.  Loss knows no bounds.

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