My father's ashes

[MartyT]

I am relieved to learn that your time with this district is ending, Laura. I don't think it was a healthy place for you to be, and I think on some level you've known that for some time now. We're all pulling for you, and we know that like your beloved Lena, you have nine lives and you'll always land on your feet. ♥

[enna]

I wrote the first part and then added t it...

 Hi Laura,

Just voicing my opinion ~

I am reading your posts and I admire you for your guts and determination to do what you are able to do for one child at a time.  As you and others have said it is quite different today working with children in school.  As an educator for over forty years I have seen the pendulum swing from one end to the other.  I retired from a classroom over a decade ago and continue to hear from teachers how difficult it is today.  It seems like teachers and administrators are not the only ones dealing with paperwork.  Doctors are getting lost in all the coding and paperwork they are expected to do on a daily basis.  What I am hearing over and over again is that those who need the help (students, and patients) are just not getting it because those who are in this service spend too much time either looking at a computer documenting or fighting with administrators over what the needs of their chargers are. 

I was in administration the last decade of my teaching career and I know how frustrating it is to try over and over again to make changes.  All that can be done is keep bringing up concerns and hope for a listening ear that can/will help.

No teacher or teacher’s helper should ever have to deal with a student who lashes out in a physical way.  Those students should be removed so the teacher is free to do his/her job ~ teach. 

I know this sounds simple but it isn’t.  Today, a teacher is expected to deal with disruptions as well as teach and if they can’t then it more often reflects on their inability to manage classroom 101! It is very sad for me to hear from teachers who are frustrated on a daily basis. Those of us who love what we do find it hard to throw up our hands and quit.

I just read your last post and I must admit I am glad for you that you are going to be getting out of the toxic situation you have been in. I am sad for you that this last job is not working out for you.  I wish you could come down to the Litchfield Park – Goodyear area and apply for a position here that you love so much.  I know you do not like a busy city area but the area out here is not as busy as Phoenix.  I have lived here since 1999 and I know how great the Litchfield Elementary School District is since I taught here from 1999 until 2007 when I retired to take care of my beloved husband before he died in 2012.  I know you love being up north but if you want to continue in the line of work you are so qualified for you would not be disappointed.  I am only a three-hour drive (or less) from Sedona.  We met in Scottsdale when Steve sponsored the Art exhibit to keep this discussion forum going.  I still have the origami piece you made for me when we met. I agree with Marty.  You do have many lives just like your Lena. I would like to meet Lena. Hospice of the Valley has the greatest pet therapy program and you and Lena would fit right in ~ just saying.

Hugs to you,

Anne

[kayc]

14 hours ago, Clematis said:

I mostly feel relieved.

Laura, that is how I felt the day my boss told me that my job was ending, effective immediately.  I was done, so done!  I've never looked back, and I know it was for the best.  You will find work and hopefully with people that appreciate you so much!  I've gotten to know you well enough to know that you are an asset any place you are and they will be lucky to get you.  I'm sorry you've been through so much with this "supervisor" but it'll be good when it's all behind you and nothing but a bad memory.

I join George in prayer for you!

[Clematis]

11 hours ago, iPraiseHim said:

I pray that though this door may be closing there will be other doors open to you that are more conducive and productive to use and express your skills and talents

I think I will be ok...I'll just have to drive further and hustle for work. Nevertheless, I feel very angry about the way this has all gone. I have been working for someone who doesn't like me, and school psychologists are notorious targets for ill will. Someone is always unhappy with what you are doing and if the special ed director doesn't have your back you are sunk. My evaluation was that I am doing a great job on the evaluations, which is essentially the job. The rest of the evaluation was negative and self-contradictory... Every negative part he wrote had some other part that directly contradicted it.

Even though I know it's really crazy, it's demoralizing to get tossed out like this. I have had a bad feeling about it for some time, but there really wasn't anything I could do about it, although I certainly tried. As it turned out the only ally I really had didn't believe I was in any trouble until it was too late. 

Every school psychologist I have ever known has said the same kind of things; people are always complaining about the school psychologist and even people who seem to be your friends and allies may suddenly turn their back on you and complain about you. People may have totally opposite complaints about the same meeting. I have had people say I was too rigid and controlling and another person at the same meeting said I was too flexible and unstructured. The other school psychologist said the problem was that I was "just too nice", but then reportedly said that "it was always my way or the highway". My evaluation said that I was too open to input from the team and should just tell them the bottom line and allow no further discussion. Later it said that I would not listen to input from the teams at all. 

It's been really awful. I think probably the best thing that could be said is that this was a poor fit - for me to go back to working for a district. Almost no one ever goes back after doing contract work. When you do contract work, you are running your own business of providing services. A school or district contracts with you to provide a valuable service and they treat you like a professional. You do your work and leave. You aren't caught up in whatever weird thing they have going. Of course, someone may still decide they don't like you and drop your contract. I know a guy who runs a small charter school and he gets someone new every year for the tiny amount of work he has. I think he loves the power of it all. Nevertheless, there is always more work somewhere because there is a shortage of school psychologists. Contract work also pays better in a lot less time...as well as avoiding the politics and social drama.

I miss my dad so much. I went through all of this before in 2009, except in some ways it was worse because the bottom had dropped out of everything. My house was devalued, there was very little work, and I didn't know how to find what work there was. But my dad was here with me and not only was he always available to listen, he helped me financially. Now I am in better shape financially, the economy is in better shape, and I have connections and tools to get contract work, but I am still scared. Nevertheless, I hear him talking to me through it all...

[Clematis]

7 hours ago, kayc said:

Laura, that is how I felt the day my boss told me that my job was ending, effective immediately.  I was done, so done!  I've never looked back, and I know it was for the best.  You will find work and hopefully with people that appreciate you so much!  I've gotten to know you well enough to know that you are an asset any place you are and they will be lucky to get you.  I'm sorry you've been through so much with this "supervisor" but it'll be good when it's all behind you and nothing but a bad memory.

I join George in prayer for you!

Thanks, Kay, and George too!

One often has insights after a night of sleep. It seems clear that my worst fear was the reality. He told me to do three things that I really shouldn't do. Two were legally questionable if not worse, and I skirted around them. The third was telling me not to ask the parents if they understood what I was telling them. He was very emphatic about telling me that I was not to ask questions and stated that asking this kind of thing is demeaning and derogatory (to ask "Does that make sense?"). It really is necessary to find out if the parent understands the testing results and how they feel about it - especially if they have no questions or comments. At one meeting I followed this directive and he really hammered me for it, telling me that I should have asked questions and I had no ability to read body language or I would have known that they weren't really following me. He went after me on this over and over, with insulting comments in person, and more of it in my evaluation.

At the last meeting where he observed me, I asked these questions of the parent in spite of the fact that he was sitting in front of me and had explicitly told me not to ask these questions. Nevertheless, he stated in my evaluation that I had not asked them at that meeting. He also complained that I was unclear on my role - that I acted as if I was a social worker and not a school psychologist, and he had reprimanded me about this several times. He really doesn't know what he is talking about but thinks this is derogatory. Being a social worker means a certain body of knowledge. Having attained training/licensure and having worked as Clinical Social Worker (psychotherapist) means that I have a high level of expertise (and habit) of asking people questions to reveal what they are not saying. He had to really go after me hard to get me to stop my knee-jerk reaction to pursue the unsaid. Social work is a field of knowledge with which a person can fill a number of roles. It is not a role at a school unless the school has a school social worker, who does something far afield from what I do - connecting students and families with community resources.

I was trapped in a double bind of following his directives or risk having him go after me for being insubordinate. He had all of the cards and all of the power, keeping me deliberately in the dark. I suppose I should be glad that I didn't get pushed into doing anything illegal. It might actually be good that in not asking the parents at a single meeting I gave him something to hang me with. Had I not done so, he might have fabricated something illegal and gotten me into legal trouble or trouble with my licensing board. I think he was determined to get me out no matter what and I'm not sure he has any conscience about he had to do to achieve his goal.

[Clematis]

19 hours ago, MartyT said:

I am relieved to learn that your time with this district is ending, Laura. I don't think it was a healthy place for you to be, and I think on some level you've known that for some time now. We're all pulling for you, and we know that like your beloved Lena, you have nine lives and you'll always land on your feet. ♥

Thanks, Marty! Yeah, I know it has been bad for my health and psychological well-being. It just seemed like such a great idea to have a shorter drive, get in some more time into the state retirement system, and to have regular health insurance. I probably would have not let go of it no matter how bad it got. I have done this before more than once - hung onto a horrible job situation until the other unhappy party (my employer) finally let go. Thanks for the support, and I hope I am like Lena. I would point out though, that like her I am generally rather vocal. There is always a lot of caterwauling/whining from her about any change she doesn't approve of and didn't ask for...

[Clematis]

On 3/27/2018 at 9:49 PM, enna said:

I just read your last post and I must admit I am glad for you that you are going to be getting out of the toxic situation you have been in. I am sad for you that this last job is not working out for you.  I wish you could come down to the Litchfield Park

Thank you so much for your thoughtful words, Anne. I wish I could be more flexible about my work situation, but I unfortunately cannot live in a metropolitan area such as Tucson or the Phoenix valley. When I lived in Tucson my asthma deteriorated to the point where I qualified for asthma studies. I had to take steroids in order to breathe and to give up my beloved cats. After 15 years of no pets, allergy shots, and moving to the cleaner air of northern Arizona, I was able to finally live without all of that medication and live with Lena! 

This does limit me quite a bit, because northern Arizona has few communities that are spaced far apart and are small. Cost of living is high, and if I worked elsewhere I would have to either support two residences or sell my condo at a big loss. I figure there must much better places than where I am, and Litchfield Park sounds like one of them. I wish I could explore the possibilities there. Nevertheless, my best option is probably to do contract work. I would make more money in less time and not be dragged through the politics and social drama of a school district. 

I remember meeting you very clearly; you are such a warm and loving part of the forum community and I was delighted to be able to meet you. Since then I have thought of you often and wished that we could have another visit. Perhaps we will. I have been too flattened by the exertion of trying to hang onto my current job up here that I haven't had the energy to do much of anything that I didn't have to do. I have thought that my age is catching up with me this year and I am just not going to have the energy I had two years ago and before. That is probably erroneous thinking...

The oddest thing happened. I am not sure how to describe it, but at some point, the environment around me lightened up in some psychic vibrational way. I think this was probably when my supervisor figured out a clear path on how to separate me from my job. I can't say how I knew but I felt like a shift was about to occur. I thought it might mean that he was going to leave and I was going to stay. Nevertheless, everything seemed lighter  - at work and in general, and I felt more optimistic.

I had been gaining weight over the school year and feeling worse as time went on. I had the second of two bouts of bronchitis, and as I was recovering from the second I suddenly lost my taste for sugar, was happy with much less food, and started losing weight. I now believe that I will lose the weight I gained toward the end of my dad's life and during the course of grieving him, recovering from that car accident, and surviving the last year at work. I haven't been weighing myself for a long time because it was too demoralizing and the fact that Lena irretrievably reprogrammed the scale to metric seemed like a good excuse to stop using the device. Nevertheless, I am suddenly losing weight and feeling better. My neighbor told me that she could tell the difference in my face, and I sure feel it.

[kayc]

I can't help but feel that this will end up the best for you. I am too tenacious and will try to the bitter end to make something work and when something is toxic, as my last job was, it was good to have it taken out of my hands and be removed from the situation, then I could begin to heal and get in a better place.  I think you will find your health, your weight, your emotions, all lining up with being in a new environment.

I did think, too, about your having your dad with you before and how much you'll miss having him with you this time, I know he was a good support, but I think he'll continue to be with you in spirit form...talk to him, open yourself up for receiving his support and I think you will feel it.

[enna]

 

5 hours ago, Clematis said:

The oddest thing happened. I am not sure how to describe it, but at some point, the environment around me lightened up in some psychic vibrational way. I think this was probably when my supervisor figured out a clear path on how to separate me from my job. I can't say how I knew but I felt like a shift was about to occur. I thought it might mean that he was going to leave and I was going to stay. Nevertheless, everything seemed lighter  - at work and in general, and I felt more optimistic.

 

Thank you for your kind words, Laura.  I do remember your talking about needing to be up north because of your allergies.  I was happy when you found the job that you are in right now.  You and your work are much needed in our school systems these days. 

I firmly believe that there are ‘vibrational signs’ surrounding us.  Perhaps it comes from those we love who are no longer here in their physical presence. 

You have many talents like your musical talent playing the cello or your artistic ability in what you paint, and your generous soul when it comes to sharing your Lena with others who find comfort in Lena’s visits.  I have three of your paintings in my home that I purchased at the art forum in Scottsdale when Steve put it together to raise money to keep this forum open. I think of you and keep you in my thoughts and prayers. 

I usually make a trip up to Sedona once a year.  We need to get together for tea and a visit. My door would be open for you and Lena and your cello if you ever get down here. We could go over to Scottsdale and eat at Maui Pasta and visit with Patty and Steve. 

I’m hoping to spend a few weeks in IL this summer to put lots of love on my daughter and SIL and three grandchildren.  My latest grandchild will be two next month. 

Hugs,

Anne

 

[Clematis]

4 hours ago, enna said:

We need to get together for tea and a visit. My door would be open for you and Lena and your cello if you ever get down here. We could go over to Scottsdale and eat at Maui Pasta and visit with Patty and Steve.

It just occurred to me that I have some paid leave days that I probably need to use up before I leave. I think otherwise I will lose them. I have three medical and three personal days...perhaps I could come visit you... I have been thinking about taking a drive and going to Trader Joe's and Costco in Prescott, which is about an hour and a half away...I could make it a little farther and see you. I'm not sure how much Lena would like a road trip, but she is pretty good in the car. Do you have any cats? If so, she would probably rather skip it; she hates other cats But I would love to see you!

[enna]

I do not have any animals here.  I'll PM you.

[Clematis]

I wake up feeling angry and frustrated. I tried so hard to make things work in my job - to accomplish a massive amount of  serious work while figuring out the lay of the social landscape and how to be successful there. I think I totally failed at this last part. I took people to be my friends that were actually working against me, and I ended up alone because I failed to figure out what was really going on beneath the surface. Now I am wondering what I could have done differently. I am honest and straightforward, and tend to figure that others are doing the same. I have never understood this kind of thing and it trips me up every time. The whole system has a mix of people who have hidden agendas that they are working together on, and people are uninvolved. Probably most people are totally unaware of any of this, but wouldn't want to get involved if they did know. But nobody will tell me what is going on or what the game really is. How can a person accomplish a big job like the one I have been trying to do in a minefield, wondering about every step and wondering if every person I interact with might be showing a falsely friendly front while taking anything I say to my boss, who is actively working on a plan to sabotage me? 

Is this how it is everywhere? 

[iPraiseHim]

1 hour ago, Clematis said:

.....  How can a person accomplish a big job like the one I have been trying to do in a minefield, wondering about every step and wondering if every person I interact with might be showing a falsely friendly front while taking anything I say to my boss, who is actively working on a plan to sabotage me? 

Is this how it is everywhere? 

I don't know about your particular field of work but just listening to my sister and her work challenges convinced me that it is not my gifting.  I have had my share of interesting challenges with work, bosses, angry, and pushy people.  In my self- employed businesses the last 25+ years there has been a different set of challenges.  Life is full of challenges. 

I have learned that I can't please everyone and that some people have hidden agendas.  I realize that I need to be true to myself and my character.  I strive to do the best in every area of my life but I fall short.  Also, there are people who are looking for other people to blame and dump their problems on.  When I realize that no one can MAKE me do anything again my will unless it is under duress. 

Every person is flawed in some area of our life.  The secret is to look for the good and cultivate it.  In work situations, I CMDC(cover my derriere completely).  Most problems are miscommunications, misunderstandings, and unspoken expectations.

The other thing I've learned is to have MARGIN. Free time and space in my day so that I am not just rushing from one event to another.  The other is leaning to say "NO".

Stay optimistic, persistence, and stay true to your values.  A path will open to you when you walk in peace through this valley of concern. Share your talents with integrity.  You will succeed in finding a better work environment. - Shalom 

[kayc]

Laura,

I can understand your feelings of anger, hurt, frustration, I would feel that way too.  It doesn't mean you did anything wrong!  It takes two to make a relationship work and only one to break it...that said, usually it's both that contribute to it's demise, but certainly not always.  A work relationship isn't unlike a marriage relationship or any other relationship, communication is key and part of that communication is listening as well as the effort employed is so important.  You weren't getting that from your supervisor.  I think it's a matter of time and he will be retired.  

My wish for you is you will be able to move forward without undue focus on what you've been having to live with this year...of course I know that can't happen until you're out of there.  When is your last day???

[Clematis]

2 hours ago, kayc said:

It takes two to make a relationship work and only one to break it...t

Thank you, Kay, for your wise and thoughtful comments. Looking back, it seems clear that my supervisor was never too keen on me from the beginning. He did hire me, but he didn't have a lot of choice. There was only one other applicant and the other person wanted a lot more money than the district would pay. I actually think he might be more comfortable with someone who was fresh out of school than a seasoned professional. I think he found me intimidating. I don't take things at face value, and can recognize half-truths, illogical conclusions, and things that aren't thought out rather easily. This would include most of what he says and writes. I was polite and respectful, but never obsequious, which seems to be what he wants and needs.

Nevertheless, he is not really my concern or my problem at this point. I need to figure out what to do about my evaluation. I can leave it as it is, or write a response to it. I don't want to write anything to extensive or too extreme, but I feel uncomfortable about leaving it stand alone. I would like to optimize my likelihood of doing any contract work that is possible with this district - being paid per evaluation (independent contractor via 1099) in the future. I am thinking that if I write something that simply straightens out a few things without protesting too much, it would good. He won't be there much longer and they are likely to need contract work done in the future. They may not be able to fill my position and all of that work would be contract work. In the future, if there is a new special ed director, if they went to look at my file to see why I left, I would like to make a few points from my perspective as to what happened. I did high quality evaluations and my writing was excellent, but I was boxed into a double bind of either being seen as insubordinate or following directives to not adequately communicate with parents, even though following his direct orders was against my clinical judgement. I was criticized harshly in my evaluation for doing what I was told. 

Meanwhile, I woke up this morning and ran some calculations about what I have been making as compared to what I could be making - and was making before - as an independent contractor. If I worked two days per week at the kind of work I did before, I would make about exactly as much as my current take home plus the value of my insurance. Three days of work per week would bring me one-and-a-half of my current income. That would be good. There is also a company that does online evaluations and therapy. I could work online and not even have to drive anywhere. I saw a mug that said, "I just want to be a stay at home cat mom". Perhaps this is my future...

[Clematis]

6 hours ago, kayc said:

When is your last day???

May 25

[kayc]

Wow, that's tough.  I'm sorry you have that long to stick it out, but just knowing there's an end in sight may help.

[Clematis]

Anyone know anything about Workman's comp? I went to the ER and they said to follow up with a doctor in Phoenix who has the same last name as my local doctor but a different first name. They said that was a mistake, but that is what my ER discharge papers say. I got a big packet of paperwork from the workman's comp adjuster and asked her about how to follow up on the ER visit and she said that the only approved places in town are the ER and Urgent Care. I asked her if I can go to my own doctor and she said only if he will bill workman's comp. I called and asked the person who does billing if they will do that and she said probably not or some fuzzy negative like that. I am still having neck pain and stiffness from this injury - from the kid hitting me in the head. When I look down - like at something at a table of a desk, I get a headache that doesn't go away with Ibuprofen as most all of my headaches have always done. I think this has triggered the head/neck injury from the car accident 22 months ago. I can't figure out what to do. The adjuster told me that if I do nothing within a 30 day period, the case will be closed and so I have about ten days to figure this out and go somewhere of I will have to deal with it on my own. Should I go back to the E.R. and get them to straighten out the paperwork? They are about1/2 mile from my office. Should I email my doctor and make sure what I was told was correct? Just go see him? Call the adjuster back and question her some more? Make an appointment with my chiropractor? I'm sure they will bill workman's comp... Should I do all of these things?

[Clematis]

Yeah...I seem to suddenly have a suboptimal attitude towards work... I wish I could stay home and enjoy Lena and the flowers.

[Clematis]

On 4/1/2018 at 8:20 PM, kayc said:

Wow, that's tough.  I'm sorry you have that long to stick it out, but just knowing there's an end in sight may help.

Definitely a help; I felt relieved when I was told they were not renewing my contract. I felt badly that the superintendent, who was the one who was pulled in to tell me this news, is a good-hearted guy that I have always good feelings towards and from. I'm sure he has no idea what has gone on and what the situation is; he is merely supporting his administrator in an administrative decision; he wasn't part of the process and he is unfamiliar with the details. I feel badly about that. It's hard to go in to work - I feel really uninspired. Other than that, the future is a little uncertain but I fail optimistic about things. I'm finding my way through things, including this workman's comp puzzle. Thanks for your support, all of you. It really means a lot and has been very helpful.

[kayc]

8 hours ago, Clematis said:

It's hard to go in to work - I feel really uninspired.

Just do it for the kids.  Could you have a private audience with the superintendent, just to let him know what he's missing?  I know it wouldn't change anything, but it might help you to be heard and him to be aware.  As long as that principal is there, this will repeat.

[Clematis]

18 minutes ago, kayc said:

Could you have a private audience with the superintendent, just to let him know what he's missing? 

I have been thinking about this. A Special Ed director is in a unique position in education. Most of the school system seems like a goldfish bowl, but most people aren't very interested in what we do or how we do it. They just want those struggling kids out of their rooms as much as possible. No one is really looking and even if they are, they don't really understand what they are looking at. One needs to have a certain amount of information to understand what is going on. Therefore, the SpEd director has a tremendous amount of power to do whatever they want with no repercussions because no one is aware of it. I may even try to meet with him after the school year is over. Or maybe I will run into him and can have a word with him. I just want to make sure that I meet with him alone.

[Clematis]

When I was given the results of my evaluation and the news that the district would not be renewing my contract, they told me that I could respond to it in writing and that would be filed with the evaluation. I have pondered this over the last nine days, but couldn't figure out if it was worse to say nothing or to protest. I finally decided to say nothing. If anyone ever read it and actually looked at it carefully along with my resume, it makes no sense. And also, I did in the end resign. I guess that's ok like it is. 

When I finally started to write, anything I wrote looked kind of crazy. Somehow defending oneself against crazy illogical stuff makes a person look crazy, it seems, and there is no way to say anything without it being excessively lengthy as well as seeming whiny and defensive. So I decided to not write anything. I think it would somehow make me look worse.

Nevertheless I feel angry about the injustice and kind of feel embarrassed and humiliated at being separated from my job. But I didn't do anything wrong. I guess I shouldn't really say anything to people at work either...just say that I resigned and am going back to doing contract work. I told a few people this today and of course no one questioned this at all. Who would stay there in a job like that when they could make more money in less time with far less aggravation doing contract work? I still feel badly about it all, but there really isn't a single person who feels badly for me about it. Other than myself. And that will probably change once I find something else. Or a few of them...

I called the guy I worked with before - I did contract work for him for five years before taking this job the last year; he was delighted to hear from me and said he was fairly sure some things would be opening up this next year. Nice to hear he was happy about the prospect of getting me back. Also, I have a phone interview with a company that does evaluations and therapy over the internet. That might be good - it sounds interesting, anyway. I could be a stay-at-home cat mom. Just stay right here and work at home over the computer, while Lena lounges in the chair next to me. Or maybe do that part time and work for the guy I did before part time - like one or two days a week...

[kayc]

9 hours ago, Clematis said:

Somehow defending oneself against crazy illogical stuff makes a person look crazy

You're probably right.  When I tell close friends/family what I went through at the last place, I know it sounds like the Twilight Zone...somehow I felt like I WORKED in the Twilight Zone the last seven years of my career.  You want to leave the trail as clean as possible for future references.

So you have quit and are beginning your search for contract work...I wish you well with your search and decision.  I think you handled it as well as you could.  Of course you have residual feelings...don't forget, Karma takes care of it all, you don't need to. 

[Clematis]

30 minutes ago, kayc said:

don't forget, Karma takes care of it all, you don't need to.

I think you are right. Part of the reason this has been so traumatic is that I went through the same thing in another district; the SpEd director, STG, did the same thing to me. I think I have PTSD from it, but also more awareness that this can happen. I had no real allies there either, thought people were my friends who turned out to be making up stuff and reporting it to STG, and so on. STG had a real affinity for the underdog, the disabled, the incompetent, etc. She also liked men. She had no problem with me when I started. I was fresh out of school and floundering, as I was the only school psych and had no one to help or advise me. I figured it out and by February of that year was all caught up and on top of things. Within a week of when I had caught up, she started actively bullying me. STG had a pattern of hiring competent women from out-of-town, and then trying to dismantle them. She would try to bully them into quitting them mid-year and if they didn't leave she would work at rearranging positions and reshuffling the work so that this person's job was eliminated. She spent two years trying to bully me into quitting and then tried to eliminate the position for two years. The first year the board told her that everyone knows it costs more and not less to contract professional services like the school psychologist's work. The second year, the board had changed and they didn't know what they were doing and so they opted for contracting the work. It was a four-year nightmare for me. But not long after I left, someone figured out how to get rid of her and since then she has bounced around all over the place. She never gets in more than one year anywhere. Then, this current year, she ended up as a SpEd teacher in the same district where I have worked. Not only did she butt heads with the SpEd director here (no surprise - they are both extreme narcissists), but she apparently had a year from hell. A school that had been a delightful little school with no big problems had five high-needs really difficult kids transfer into that school and she had a room with all five of them. I know another teacher had a really bad year because she had three of these difficult kids in her mix, and STG had FIVE of them. It was clear a long time ago that they were going to get rid of her...and she had had fantasies that she would manage to be promoted to be the SpEd director here.

Anyway, I believe you are right, and I have believed that for a long time... that Karma takes care of things and I don't need to get mixed up in it. I think I will be ok. Truthfully, I really only need to get through a few years and I will be good. When I lost my position in 2009, I was terrified because I was a LONG way from retirement and had no idea how to get contract work and had no contacts. Now I have contacts and an idea how to get work. In 2009, my dad helped me enormously, at sometimes carrying me entirely, as I struggled to find any work I could, tried nursing school, taught ukulele lessons, did medical social work for a home health care agency, and so on. My dad promised to not let me drown and he was true to his word. By the time the economy had recovered a bit and I had found work again, I had LOTS of more skills and a much stronger bond with my dad, which continued to the end of his life and beyond. I had to learn to trust and depend on him, and a gradual change happened where he had to trust and depend on me. I miss him every day even though I  feel him with me...

1 hour ago, kayc said:

You're probably right.  When I tell close friends/family what I went through at the last place, I know it sounds like the Twilight Zone...somehow I felt like I WORKED in the Twilight Zone the last seven years of my career.  You want to leave the trail as clean as possible for future references.

I think that's wise. Last night I was wishing I had someone to advise me, but I think I figured out the right thing in the end. Leaving the trail as clean as possible - I like that and think you're right. 

The Twilight Zone... that sounds familiar. When I was working for STG and after I was forcibly separated from my job there, I was angry and bitter and I talked about it ALL the time. Eventually I realized that any one I knew fell into one of three groups: they were still working with/for her and were afraid to get involved, they had escaped working for her and didn't want to get pulled back into the negativity by hearing about it from me, or most frequently they had no idea who she was and the things she did and said sounded SO crazy it made me sound crazy to even talk about it.