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I'm so lost


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:(

i wasn't going to come here because words fail me.  I'm so lost.  Missing Mary and Noah immensely.  Been going through photos of her and of Noah growing up.  It's hard.  

ButchIMG_2405.JPG.17a5b33a62b075a81395143fb459ea49.JPGNoah was so happy to have a baby brother.   Caleb was "his baby".  Caleb misses him so much

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Butch,

My heart hurts for you for the many loved ones you have lost.. There are no answers as to why we were left behind, but we will somehow carry on.

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If I could do anything to help someone I would choose to try to help you Butch.  You have had so many highs and excitement with pregnancies mixed in then with the horrendous lows of losing too many loved ones these past few years. I believe that you need someone there to be helpful and supportive of you.  I will pray for angels to help you.  I can not do anything myself but I think angels ? could.

Sending you some sisterly love and hugs ❤️

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Butch,

Your going through pictures is going to stir up emotions, you are grieving.  But it is good to do so and not push it back continually, because grief is always waiting for us to deal with it.  It helps sometimes to try and mete it out so you aren't dealing with grief 100% of the time, we need some breaks.  Do you have a friend you could get out with, just have lunch with or something?  You are grieving so many more than we all are, I can't even imagine how hard that must be.  One at a time is more than enough.

I remember Marty posting this and thought of you...
http://www.griefhealingblog.com/2016/04/in-grief-coping-with-multiple-losses.html

There are links to other articles at the bottom of this one too.

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I barely recall posting this thread Thursday  that's how lost I do truly feel.  I am in tears for all of the support by everyone.  You have grieving hearts.  God bless you all.  ❤️

Its been three and half months almost since Noah passed and reality just keeps slapping me in the face.  When I look at Caleb and Gracie it hurts because their big brother should be here.  And the baby coming in oct will never know Noah or Grammy Mary.  

My heart is just overwhelmed.  I'm going to a grief support group starting Thursday.  

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Butch,

I am glad you will be trying a grief support group and I hope you find it helpful.  I wish you lived close by so you could be in our group!  

I know the loss will always be keenly felt.  That's something that separates us from the rest of the world that hasn't experienced loss.  We live with the pain and the loss.  I pray for comfort for you.

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Lost,

 

I am so sorry to have read about your loss!  Know this, there are people out there who will help you, that love you, and unless I have misread your post, you have a son who is probably going through some similar emotions, feelings of loss, and worry.  In my experience it isn’t about moving on or forgetting-when my parents died it was difficult, but what helped me was to write about them, the good times, the bad, and yes, there were days when this backfired and I found myself in the midst of grief – there were also days when I found myself laughing and reveling in a wonderful memory of our time together.  It still hurts, I can’t call or see them, but it isn’t so overwhelming. 

 

Don’t think of me as presumptuous, I do not know your situation, but consider this: you and your son are in this together, do something to memorialize those who have passed on, talk about them, laugh and smile about the best memories!  Your photo is of a happy home, don’t lose that…and if it’s not getting any better, help each other by seeking out a professional.

 

The Grief of Parent: A Lifetime Journey isn’t specific to your situation, however, the advice, warning signs, and resources are helpful.  You’ve probably seen an article or two about understanding the grieving process, but this site also offers a good list of resources, to include an article on Grief, Trauma, or Depression , and Dealing with the Practical Aspects of a Spouse’s Death. 

 

I will pray for you and your son, you’re reaching out, reach a little further, there are people here to support you if you fall.

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@AYoung73,

R.Everit55 (Butch), has lost so many people in recent years, his wife, Mary, his BIL, Leo, Leo's twin, Ziggy, Leo's wife, Shannon, his twin granddaughters, his eldest grandson, Noah, plus his son & daughter-in-law have miscarried, it's a lot of loss in such a short time, all while he's dealt with heart problems, a fall, his son's accident, a horrid storm...these are the things that readily come to my mind.  It's all added up to a huge mound of grief that he's finding himself now trying to separate and grieve individually, very painful.  In all of this, I don't know a more wonderful family.  I know he'll make his way through this, as they have everything, together.  

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  • 3 weeks later...

My third grandson was born last night at 31 weeks.  He's 3lbs 2oz and doing great.  His name is Ryan Noah.  Honoring his big brother who is no longer with us.  Mom and Dad are thrilled with how well he's doing.  IMG_2536.thumb.PNG.f2c9d2eacc4ee165373a8419c60914c8.PNG

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Oh Butch ~ he is so tiny! I love his beautiful name! I know this darling boy has arrived earlier than expected, and we will keep Ryan Noah in our thoughts and prayers, along with you and all the members of your dear family 

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I love his hair!  My grandson is a blonde too.  Do they give any idea how long before he'll be ready to come home?  I'm glad he's in good hands and very thankful with you that he made it 30 weeks.  Congratulations, grandpa!

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He's so tiny, it's hard to imagine!  Just precious!

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kayc & Butch,

Thank you kayc, I'm sorry its taken me so long to acknowledge you, but I appreciate it and I have kept Butch in my prayers throughout this time and I am happy to see (through this thread) that Butch has so many supporters!  Butch, a lesser man wouldn't have been able to endure the pain you have experienced.  I realize I am a stranger, but it doesn't mean I am any less empathetic.  I will continue to pray for you all, that you are built up and blessed with grace and God's comfort! 

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I hope you can give yourself some quiet time to sit with your pain and sorrow, dear Butch. In all the time since your beloved left this earthly realm, you've had precious little time to process your grief. Take some of that time today, and know that we are here with you . . . 

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