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Anne, it is about the sweetest thing I've seen anyone do.  So much work you went to and it means so much.  It still seems hard to believe to me...our little forum baby.  We saw her through teething, we were perked up by her smiles, celebrated her birthday...thank you for sharing her with us, Butch.

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Dear Anne, Butch... everyone here on this forum family..

I just viewed this lovely tribute... every single life ... every single breath ... is so very precious isn't it??? For those of us who have loved deeply and lost a loved one.... how well we know the truth of that.

Thank you ..

For posting such a powerful tribute.... 

beautiful beautiful Gracie... will remain the angel she is forever in our hearts....

I decided to visit here today.. to see how everybody is doing...I am still trying to find my way.. as we all are.... still no answers ... just the search ...

Thinking of everyone here today with much love and tenderness....

Peace, Marie Lee

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  • 3 weeks later...

I / we understand, Butch. The reality your family is facing is just beyond anyone's capacity to understand. It is a mystery, and I have no words of wisdom to explain any of it ~ Actually I wouldn't even insult you by trying. There is no way to fix this, and no way to make it okay. From the very depths of my soul, I am sorry. So, so sorry. All I /we can do is assure you that we are here, we hear you, and you are not alone. We will sit with you in your pain, and we embrace you with our love.  

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I think what Marty said is the words all of us want to say to you.  And this on top of your fractures, I'm sure it feels too much.  You're in my prayers and I hope you know you can voice yourself to us any time.

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My dear Butch,

I can't imagine.  The closest I can liken it to is when my family had their own crisis 50 years ago...I was 15 and there were three accidents in my family in one week, my aunt, my dad, and then my sisters'.  My sisters' was by far the worst...we came up upon it 30 minutes after it happened.  You know how it is, we think, "Poor people, there's been an accident..." and then we get closer and we see my sister's car mangled nearly unrecognizable.  And we see the baby's bed (he was 4 months old) laying out on the freeway with glass shattered everywhere.  This was before carseats and seatbelt laws.  The police told us one was dead, we didn't know which one.  It was my three year old nephew.  He was at our house all of the time except night because my sister was working full time and going to school at night, my mom and I took care of him.  He was the bright spot in our lives after my dad's heart attack and my sisters' divorces, one which wasn't even final yet.  What do you do when your bright spot is removed?  And then the four month old became our bright spot...four years later he was kidnapped and we didn't see him for a year.

I don't understand how/why things like this happen.  Our family seemed cursed for many years.  Tragedy after tragedy followed us.  It makes you wonder why you're singled out for hardship.  Why things can't just flow like they do for others.  I don't know.  I learned to quit asking why, I never got any answers anyhow.  It became survival mode, just get through this day.  I look for bright spots wherever I can find them, no matter how small.  I look back and can see I've done that in my grief journey as well, only now it's more conscious, a choice. 

You have two grands left to be that bright spot, and oh how I pray they shine for you!  You are a wonderful grandpa and I think it is good you all have each other and are there for each other.  You are in my daily prayers, Butch.   (((hugs)))

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I suppose you never stop aching for them Butch. I certainly don't. It warms our hearts to see the picture of your bride.  It reminds me of how I wondered.........."who would have seen this coming".

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We all went to the ocean yesterday and put Mary's Lila's and Lily's Noah's and Gracie's ashes together in to the water and we all said something.  It was hard.  But in time it will be healing.  

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Again, no words.  All I can think of is Rose Kennedy's telling about the scar tissue.  True, that woman had a lot of scar tissue to build up, but Butch, I think the amount you have would make moving body parts unable to be done.  My heart is with you my friend, and no words to help.  One of my dear friends lost her son today.  He is about my son's age..  She lost her only sister about three years ago and her last husband a long time ago.  She does not mention him.  This young man had a family, and had fought so hard.  We all know the stories, most of you have lived them.  Billy was so laid back I knew he would be the last in the family to go.  He exited very fast.  

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