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Anne66

Looking for grief friends to write to for mutual support

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On the outside I am very successful. I have a good job , nice home and kids who live away and are doing well and a nice boyfriend who likes to spend time with me . Yet I feel so alone in the world. There is a deep sadness that shows up on Sunday afternoons that reminds me of all the losses my dad who died suddenly when I was 9 years old my mom 2years ago and now my dog that lived for almost 15 years. I see mothers and daughter andpeoplewithfamily a foam so jealous that I never got to experience family peace. One of four children we barely talk we were never close. I have tried mindfulness exercise writing etc and that feeling never goes and nooner really understands. I think if maybe I could connect with others in a similar place it might help me heal. I am totally open to any kind of support. Thanks so much

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Welcome, Anne ~ it's good to know that you have found us. I think you'll find that here you are among kindred spirits, and you are not alone. We may not have any answers, but we will sit with you in your pain, we won't try to act as if we can "fix it", and we're always here to listen . . .  

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It does help to find others that are going through the same thing and get it.  You'll find that here, and you also might want to try a grief support group.
http://www.griefhealingblog.com/2010/04/finding-grief-support-that-is-right-for.html

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Hi Marty,

How do I write to you directly through this sight. I am having a rough time right now and you seem like you are a great grief professional to write to.  After looking at some of the posts on the website I realize I haven’t really allowed myself to feel the pain and now thx to this sight you have given me permission to do so. I am not good at making decisions right now. Replace the dog bring energy and love into house but have to consider responsibilities. Can barely take care of myself right now and focus on my job which has a lot of responsibilities. Am doing all the right things but the pain is greatest in the house and I don’t want to go back at the end of the day. Any thoughts are welcome.. loved your lord of the rings excerpt about acceptance. Thanks so much. Anne

 

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If you don't have energy for the responsibility a dog would bring, perhaps consider something that requires less of you, like a cat or a bird.  

Be kind and understanding of yourself.  When we're going through something like this one of the things I've learned is to treat myself with value, the same way I would a good friend.

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Allowing yourself to feel the pain is an essential part of healing, Anne, and it's important to give yourself permission to do that. I encourage you to pick up a copy of Megan Devine's new book, It's Okay That You're Not Okay: Meeting Grief in a Culture That Doesn't Understand. If you cannot find a local "in person" support group, you might find this site to be a nice alternative, as it offers several different ways for you to connect with kindred spirits and find peer support: Soaring Spirits Programs 

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 Thanks for giving me your email. I really appreciate it. I bought the book on Amazon, but the Soaring Series is for widows so  it will not be a place to connect for me. I will check out your other sites to see if I can find something.

I am a professional educator and I can tell that you are very wise,well-trained and educated. After my mother died I tried a grief support group at the local church and it was very depressing so I am not interested in pursuing that again. I found you through (whats your grief-lisa) so that is a start.

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I'm so sorry, Anne, as I mistakenly pointed you to a resource that does not apply to you. Please forgive my oversight! You may find this page more helpful, and certainly more relevant: Mother Loss: A List of Suggested Resources.

PS ~ I just saw the picture of your precious Hannah that you sent to me. What a beautiful girl she was, and no wonder you miss her so!  

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Hi Marty,

been looking for a rescue dog to fill the void in the house  ..have to find right fit..these applications are incredibly time consuming and have to install a fence ..the house feels so lonely.. when I get home after work I get really depressed.. my boyfriend left for Florida for two weeks .. he’s been really insensitive about the dog..i feel bad with the holidays coming.. got the book you recommended and it is really good..guess it’s just going to take time..will look at some of the sights you recommended.. thx for your support..it makes me feel less alone with this

 

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