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Allen, you have fought this grief, this unimaginable grief along with your dad.  Our hearts are with your family and our prayers also, please let him know we are all praying for him, we all have him and your family in our hearts.

 

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Thank you all for caring for my father.  There is no change.  I did tell him of all your care and concern. 

Allen

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I think Kay said he was in God's hands.  There are no words I can say for you, your wife, your children, and the worry you carry is monumental.  Our hearts  being with you does not take the weight off your shoulders, and we all wish we could help in some way.  Thank you for keeping us updated.  I cannot even imagine the strength you have to carry for your whole family.  

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Dear Butch.... I just read your last topic and cannot imagine the pain you are going through. My heart breaks for you, not just for you and your wife having to live with such a terrible debilitating disease, but also losing four grandchildren. How horrendous for all of your family.

Please know that I am thinking of you, sending hugs and energy and whatever else you need. 

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Thinking of Butch and Allen. I've been close to suicidal over losing Susan so pile more losses on top of that and I'm not surprised at his state of mind. I just hope he can find the strength to live. My grief counselor lost her daughter to a heroin overdose 3 ms after losing her husband to cancer. Not exactly the same but wish he could talk to her. 

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Thank you all.  My Dad has had no change.  He’s critical emotionally and psychologically.  January 9 is three years since the passing of my Mother.  I know it’s weighing on his heart.  

Allen

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Thank you for keeping us updated Allen.  Please take care of yourself also.  A whole family grieving multiple losses has to bend the minds of the strongest people.  I hope you all find help.  You are in our prayers, and that seems so easy to say, but your in our hearts also.  All of you.

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Allen,

I am glad he is where he can get help, especially as the 9th approaches.  I know it was weighing on him.  I'm surprised none of us have died of a broken heart, it's a credit to how resilient our bodies are even when everything within us is broken.  Keeping Butch in prayer, along with you and your family.  Please give him our love.

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Thank you all.  My father is communicating a bit.  He’s angry and doesn’t want to live passed the 9th.  The third anniversary of letting my mom go.  ALS took her but he’s angry at himself.  He’s still not eating.  He wants to see Caleb and Ryan but no kids allowed in psych unit.  Caleb understands his Grampy is where he needs to be to be safe.  Our family is broken.  :(

Allen

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Allen, you spread yourself so thin, but thank you for sharing with us.  Please take care of Allen also, and I know the rest of your family need some semblance of peace.  Tell Butch we have him in our heart.  Again, thank you for keeping in touch with us.  

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Our hearts are with your family.  Praying for Butch and for your whole family as I know this impacts all of you, even Caleb.

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My Dad is coping with immense anger and he’s turning it inwardly towards himself.  It’s not his fault... any of it.  I can’t get that across to him.  He isn’t hearing me.  I want to yell at him.  And make him hear.  😔

Allen
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I am so sorry Allen.  We think we have grief, and we do, but our family sees us suffer and you have been through so much yourself.  You are a wonderful son.  I hope he can break through this anger and see how it hurts the ones who  love him, but you know, sometimes we do not see clearly, and your little family has been through so much.  Our hearts.  Our prayers, and some semblance of peace is my wish for you.  Our minds sometimes don't want to see what our eyes have to see.  

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Marty thank you.  I cried reading this as it speaks so much of what my Dad is enduring and the guilt he is experiencing and pushing me away and not being able to articulate anything.  I will keep tell him he WILL survive this.  And I am never leaving.  

Allen. 

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12 hours ago, MartyT said:

Allen, my dear, I read this just today and thought of you and your dad. Sharing in hopes that it helps: Advice on Talking to Someone with Suicidal Thoughts -- from Someone Who's Had Suicidal Thoughts  

Very good article.  When I have felt that way I have had no one to say those words to me but myself, and the problem with that is, sometimes a person can't say those words to themselves because they don't believe them.  They need someone to look them in the eyes and be there for them.  I lost someone to suicide and we tried, Lord knows his family tried, he was getting professional help, he couldn't hang on through the weekend to get his medicine changed.  Sometimes someone needs to be admitted to the hospital but we don't always realize it in time.

Allen, I commend you and your family for getting him where he needs to be.  I pray for him continually.  God help him to see he CAN pull through this!  And I agree with the anxiety part too, anxiety plays a huge role in my feelings and sometimes we NEED that medicine, that treatment!

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Allen, my dear, you have the true grit of your parents in your blood, in your heart, and in your very DNA. I know few families who have endured the number and frequency of the heavy and painful losses you've experienced, and with such dignity, grace and love for one another. You and your dad hold a special place in our hearts, and we are pulling for you and with you. I hope you know that . . . 

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Hi all.  I’m home.  I’m not sure where to start but one breath at a time I guess and therapy.  

Thank you all for welcoming my son.  

Butch ❤️

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One breath at a time and therapy sounds like an excellent plan, dear Butch. It's good to "see" you here again. I think you know that we're all pulling for you.

Just a few minutes ago I invited Allen to read a wonderful newsletter that included this insightful article, and I hope you will read it, too:

Does It Ever Get Easier?

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