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Boyfriends mom died and he pushed me away


Lyla2

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5 hours ago, ciara said:

If one person can't continue the way things were then you find a new way that works for everyone.    

For those of us here, that way apparently was getting broken up with.  

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  • 9 months later...

Im going through the same thing, though different....I've been with this guy for 2 and half years and we were planning on getting married this year in December on the day we met. The difference his mother hated me because she felt i was taking her son away from her and she got upset when he listened to me and not her. I got in a fight with his sister because she was mad i was caring for him to much so his family shunned me.......and its been that way for 2 years. We had the worst up and down relationship it was never steady but we were always strong and help on eachother and never broke up. Just last Thursday his mother died of cancer but not because she was to ill but the hospital decided upon themselves to let her go on overly medicated her causing her to suffocate and die. He has been so cold to me saying rude things saying he wish me and my family died and he never wants to see me again he got so angry when i was on the phone with my mother saying not to talk to her while infront of him, he tells why would i do that knowing his mother died.....he says very evil things to me about my family and that he wants to kill them......he keeps telling me everyday that he doesnt want me and forces me to take him to his family's house and when hes there he would call me up in the middle of the night wanting me to pick him up.....and i do i go get him. I love him so much he is my first boyfriend and the one to take my gem, all i wanted was to be with him and he mistreats me because of his mother. I dont know what i should do, it kills me to see him so down my heart cant bare the pain anymore 

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I am sorry for all you are going through.  You do know, however, that the way he is treating you is unacceptable and not something you'd want for life with your partner?  His mom died, I get that, I know grief makes people do strange things like break up because they feel guilty for the time they spent with you instead of their parent or because they can only focus on their grief and can't do a relationship at the same time...but to treat you so cruelly...I'm afraid if you don't set boundaries of what you will/won't accept, it will only get worse from here.  NOT acceptable!  I hope you will take some of the caring you have for him and apply it to yourself, it sounds like you need a new best friend and that friend is YOU.  Self-care, stand up for yourself, protect yourself, you're not chopped liver.

I was engaged for a year, my fiance's mom refused to meet me, when she was dying he broke up with me, by Fed Ex no less, at my job!  None of this is acts of love.  I get that he couldn't deal with it at the same time he was caregiving 24/7, but it seemed passive/aggressive to me the way he went about it, he could have, at the very least, broken up with me at my home, not my office so I could deal with it in private.  I never did anything to deserve any of this, it doesn't sound like you have either.  It's not personal in that no matter who they were with they would respond this way, but it sure FEELS personal!  I'm sorry you're going through all this, it's high time to draw a line.

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