I Just Put Four Down, Feel Sick And Angry

[Poodlemom]

I work with poodle rescue. I have taken in several special needs seniors that no one would adopt. They spend their last days with me and I try to make them comfortable,provide good medical care, be kind, and love them. I get far more in return. Recently, four have passed away and I have been devastated. I have had much support with those meaning well and saying that at least their last days were in a loving home, so focus on that. Well, I have been sad and angry and sad. I miss them so bad. I have withdrawn from rescue work. I just can't face it right now. I feel so terrible for feeling this way. But I just can't do it right now. It hurts too much. Thank you for this support group. My heart goes out to all of you that have suffered a loss.

[Angie2004]

I know this is quite sometime since your post, and I wonder how you're doing now?

[Poodlemom]

Hi Angie, I wrote you but sent it privately. I meant to post it here in case it might help others. I can't copy it now and post. You are welcome to do that.

But in case you don't, for you others that are interested, I am doing better. I am up and down and up and down. I am functioning better, but not 100%. I am spacey at times. I find myself empty feeling at times and look for something to do. I have been spending a lot of time with our other poodles. One in particular makes me laugh. She is such a clown. Then I grab her and tell her I love her and just enjoy the moment. I feel I have to cherish the ones we have because we never know when our time comes.

Being in rescue, I see dogs that never have the love and care they deserve. They are lucky if they have someone that is kind when they are put down.

Those that find their way into a foster home or permanent home where they receive good care and love are extra lucky. Those of us that participate receive so much more. Yes, death is tough to deal with for those of us left behind. But we can know that we blessed our little ones with love and care. We did a really good thing for them. We are good people with big hearts. I also believe we will meet again.

Love to all of you that are hurting and missing your loved ones,

Kathy (Poodlemom)

[nannsies]

Dear Kathy,

I thank you from my heart of hearts for being so kind.

I understand how you feel.

You have done so much for so many.

At times I too grow weary and wonder what am I doing?

But the need is so great and I go on.

It sounds as if you need a much deserved break.

And even if you decide that you can't do it anymore it is ok.

What you have done to help those poor babies will not go unrewarded. I am sure of that. As you said that you gained so much from them.

I am sure you will be together again someday at the Rainbow Bridge.

I have had to have many many kitties put to sleep over the past three years and it has been really really hard. I cling to the love and the life of the others I care for. I grieve for my lost babies and go on. I have to. They are already there. The kitties that are still living are a great comfort to me.

God Bless you for your big heart and I hope you feel better soon.

Love and Life,

nannsies