Gwenivere Posted April 5, 2018 Report Share Posted April 5, 2018 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted April 7, 2018 Report Share Posted April 7, 2018 I head to do something and am distracted, so I say what I was going to do over and over until I finish what distracted me. Well, I say it over and over until my distraction takes hold and then I totally forget it. Sometimes I will just stand in the floor, I know there was something I had to do. Sometimes it comes to me, otherwise I go sit down and forget it forever. I need one of those things you speak into when you remember something, but I would forget to listen to it. I don't let it bother me. As long as I make it home from where ever I have been, I'm okay. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwenivere Posted April 8, 2018 Author Report Share Posted April 8, 2018 One thing I have noticed a drastic change in is how I did routine things without thinking about it. Now I run a checklist in my head because my mind is so scattered. When I take a shower, if I don’t run the list I’ll forget something. One night I forgot to put conditioner in my hair and I have very long hair so i had to do when I was rinsing out the conditioner I forgot! The thing that annnoys me the most is thinking I have everything I need when sitting down for about an hour and finding I forgot something. My back pain is terrible so it’s very frustrating. Then there is the going to bed, all settled in and something will come to mind I need to remember for the next day. Solved that problem by putting and pad and pen by the bed. I have more post it notes around because my memory has fled the.building. Steve used to ask me.....don’t you need to write all this stuff down? Nope, never forgot a thing. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted April 8, 2018 Report Share Posted April 8, 2018 I make grocery lists, always have, but it is only to remind myself what I need more than anything. Now, I actually use it, only this was the 3rd time I went and had to make sure everything I had forgot before, I put on the list. I was proud of myself. I only bought what was on the list (mainly because I had bought the rest the other two trips.) Coming home Tuesday my kids called me a couple of times each. "Mama, where are you?" I would say "I don't know." That freaked them out. Actually, I meant I was still in the country and could not remember what the next village was. I remembered fast cause they thought I was lost. I should not laugh at them, they are the ones that will put me away. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted April 8, 2018 Report Share Posted April 8, 2018 I've noticed the return of my grief brain since my sister died...catch myself making mistakes, having a hard time thinking with any clarity. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mittam99 Posted April 8, 2018 Report Share Posted April 8, 2018 I need to buy two bottles of memory enhancing vitamins. The second bottle is to remind where I left the other one. But seriously, my memory used to be my strong suit. Concentration too. Now I find myself forgetting things left and right. I can have something on my mind, and if I'm just a bit distracted, I lose my train of thought. I'm sure part of it is grief brain but I wonder if it's age too. My memo/note/to do list app on my phone is my close friend. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TomPB Posted April 8, 2018 Report Share Posted April 8, 2018 I forget a lot of little things. Forget to lock. Left phone at friends - NEVER seperated from phone. Last night was telling a friend about Susan's scientific career and couldn't remember the name of the drug she developed. Starting conversations with "Stop me if I already told you this". Putting meetings on my calendar when I used to be sure I'd remember. The currents are running fast under the surface. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lainey Posted April 9, 2018 Report Share Posted April 9, 2018 I think this is normal, but i wish it would go away soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marie Lee Posted April 16, 2018 Report Share Posted April 16, 2018 me too Lainey. I have been scrapbooking.. started today on my daughters'... oh how I wish he were here to share my pages with... no one else will quite care as much...ever... thinking of you all today and sending hugs... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KarenK Posted April 17, 2018 Report Share Posted April 17, 2018 Marie, that is one of the hardest things to overcome. The "not having anyone to care as much". Although my son, grandson & I can recall & express our memories of my Ron, there is no one for me to recall my daughter with. My son was a baby when she left home & although he loved her because she was his sister, he barely knew her as she lived so far from us. Every time I see the cute little frilly girl clothes in a store, it reminds me of her, even though she would be 54 this year. I think she will always be my happy 3 yo in my heart. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted April 17, 2018 Report Share Posted April 17, 2018 I still haven't done it (scrapbooking), I bought the stuff to do it after George died. Somehow it's just too emotional. I even bought charms that looked like his fishing hat, etc. Maybe someday... It's funny, you think you're going to do all this stuff when you retire, but then you get caught up in volunteering and get a schedule, plus getting older and feeling it, somehow you don't have the time you thought you would! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marie Lee Posted April 23, 2018 Report Share Posted April 23, 2018 Oh Karen ... how your heart must hurt about your three yr old beautiful girl... it’s a void that never fills ... sending out so much love to all... Scrapbooking can be emotional but it’s good therapy for me... I see , the beautiful life we created ... lovely songs run through my head like remember when and sweet life ...even silly songs and sayings from my late husbands funny bone :-) and the precious memories he left me ... thinking of you all... Marie 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted April 23, 2018 Report Share Posted April 23, 2018 I talked to Billy's sister yesterday. First time I did not cry. Her husband is over 80 now and had to go to doc today. His legs have just quit holding him up. Always had back problems though. I have to call her more often. Lots of stuff "I have to do" that I never will do, but I still "have to do it." It is hard being older and losing so many friends (after your life has already been taken away from you.) I think another hard thing is four of them that are classmates have dementia, I will not say what type, I do not know. Does it really matter? In 1970, when I started typing all the discharge summaries, operations, consultations, clinic notes, admission notes, we only used the word senile dementia. I cannot tell you how many patients (until I caught on) that I gave AIDS related problems, instead of "age related" Guess they thought those old people were getting around. Karen, I think of you often. My friend lost her 10 year old girl in a playground accident, and she never recovered (certainly not). At Barbara Bush's funeral, they kept mentioning the child she had lost to leukemia, I think. My aunt lost her 30-something year old daughter to alcohol poisoning, and now my aunt is a shut in, we grieve our husbands, our wives, but a child.....parents should leave before their children. My grandmother was in her 80's when her first borne, my dad passed away. It was then that dementia took over, but she lived to 94 or 95. I can remember her daughters, my aunts, saying "Mama, you just told us that five times" and my Mammaw would just look bewildered. I find myself repeating things too. Sometimes I have to ask if I have said it because I will think it and think maybe I said it. My shrink from years back told me that the dissociation spells I was having was my brain protecting itself. Used to we had complete nervous breakdowns. Do not hear it called that anymore, but I know most weeks I have at least 2 or 3. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted April 24, 2018 Report Share Posted April 24, 2018 When I was in my first marriage (highly abusive) I experienced disassociation (before I knew there was a word for it or that anyone else went through it)...some things are too hard for us. I think of Karen missing Debbie and Ron, seems too much but we don't get asked what we can handle. My own daughter doesn't answer the phone or respond to texts, I can't even leave a voicemail, she doesn't read emails either, I can only conclude she really doesn't want to hear from us or have a relationship with us, but it doesn't stop my aching heart. If I had a dollar for every time I cried or puzzled over this I'd retire a very rich lady. It used to hurt George to see my pain over it, but it's only gotten way worse over the years and now there's no George to cushion the blows. The only thing I know to do in this life that can be so hard sometimes is to continue to look for the good there is and embrace and appreciate it. Some say this is no happy way to live, but it's the only way I know to do it. Into every life some hard stuff falls, to some more than others. I do know everything I've gone through has shaped and molded me into who I am so I cannot resent the hard places, only deal with them the best I can. We all find our own way through this... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted April 24, 2018 Report Share Posted April 24, 2018 2 hours ago, kayc said: We all find our own way through this... Can we do this any other way? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwenivere Posted April 24, 2018 Author Report Share Posted April 24, 2018 What frustrates me are the options are very limited. And some are very dark. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TomPB Posted April 25, 2018 Report Share Posted April 25, 2018 I'm visiting an old friend for a few days as part of my attempt to do something new with my life. He lost his wife abt 2 yrs ago so we have that in common. I find myself longing to be home as if I'd be back with Susan even though she is gone and I only have the empty home. Strange - but so is everything. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted April 25, 2018 Report Share Posted April 25, 2018 It is hard to think of anything as an "option." We want them back, that is the option that is impossible to get back. It also is the one we have to accept. Not an easy life. I could fight a lion. I would lose. I have scars from this fight too. I'm still here, that's all I can do. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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