Mom

[Tachi]

Gee wiz, finally found out what my brothers new job is. All this time he has been working in the upper stratospheres of programming and IT. And he never told me. His new job is from home and he works for the company that created and runs the Lojack product. they make products that let a company track their employees driving etc and compile it in a readable report format. I dont need nor want him to try and direct my life, kind of what he does now on occasion. but he could have been telling me about what he does and how to get started so i could consider it. That also tells me he doesnt care he just wants to control. I laughed when i found out.

[kayc]

12 hours ago, Tachi said:

Oh, I thought someone hit your car, sorry.

No, I'm sorry, I forgot about it, with all the stress and pain I've been in, if you can believe that!  It's a mere nusance compared to everything else I'm going through. 

I only WISH we'd get no snow here (they need it at higher elevations but not here, yet we always get it), my hands are in so much pain I wonder how much longer I can keep doing this, yet I don't quit easily.  And Kodie loves it here.

How does your dad's medical get billed if he/you don't know what he has?  He has to have either Medicare or a Medicare Advantage program (mine is Healthnet).  I've had two doctors bill Medicare that should NOT have because they don't understand the difference between Medicare and a Medicare Advantage program, which supplants it.  II wonder how they mange their billing if they don't know the basics!

I feel the same way about Fall, I love it, if not for the impending winter hardships that follow.  

12 hours ago, Tachi said:

maybe in artwork i'll do that.

And I hope to see it!  I always felt lucky being born in the Autumn.  I love the poems about Autumn.
 

Autumn Fires by Robert Louis Stevenson Next

In the other gardens      And all up the vale, From the autumn bonfires      See the smoke trail!   Pleasant summer over      And all the summer flowers, The red fire blazes,      The grey smoke towers.   Sing a song of seasons!      Something bright in all! Flowers in the summer,      Fires in the fall!

[Tachi]

On 10/19/2020 at 8:50 AM, kayc said:

No, I'm sorry, I forgot about it, with all the stress and pain I've been in, if you can believe that!  It's a mere nusance compared to everything else I'm going through. 

I only WISH we'd get no snow here (they need it at higher elevations but not here, yet we always get it), my hands are in so much pain I wonder how much longer I can keep doing this, yet I don't quit easily.  And Kodie loves it here.

How does your dad's medical get billed if he/you don't know what he has?  He has to have either Medicare or a Medicare Advantage program (mine is Healthnet).  I've had two doctors bill Medicare that should NOT have because they don't understand the difference between Medicare and a Medicare Advantage program, which supplants it.  II wonder how they mange their billing if they don't know the basics!

I feel the same way about Fall, I love it, if not for the impending winter hardships that follow.  

And I hope to see it!  I always felt lucky being born in the Autumn.  I love the poems about Autumn.
 

Autumn Fires by Robert Louis Stevenson Next

In the other gardens      And all up the vale, From the autumn bonfires      See the smoke trail!   Pleasant summer over      And all the summer flowers, The red fire blazes,      The grey smoke towers.   Sing a song of seasons!      Something bright in all! Flowers in the summer,      Fires in the fall!

Thanks for the poem, I like it. True too. Praying for your pain. Docs need to get going. You need some peace. And end of pain. Any word from them, can they do anything at all? You'll need one of the kids to get you a tree for Christmas and set it up. Do you get a real tree or just decorate the house? Dad hasn't wanted to decorate much since Mom passed. It's just not at all festive here. But will put some things up. I forget that as pretty as it is snow can be a problem too. Guess i'm lucky that i'll be inside. 

I guess the good news is that I passed my exam with 85%. Such a relief. Honestly, about halfway thru I thought I was a goner. Now I need to review my basics and decide what to study next. I've spent the 3 days since mostly doing things for dad and just relaxing.

As far as I can see he has medicare and a policy from American Airlines as a secondary. I finally got to talk to a rep at AA. His Medicare is thru United Health and the AA will be added in for a Medicare C that takes over. His coverages dont change, the AA adds some things and his Part D is now paid for. Good thing is that all his medical is setup to autobill from his checking acct. I take care of all of it. he either cant or wont. he thinks he's the lord of the manor and im his footman or whatever else service he needs. Honestly hes very lucky im here. 

He also forgets or doesnt understand how to work the remote or his TV or both. Its obvious the remote doesnt work so I ordered him a new one, and its exactly the same. If he cant work this one he wont work a universal. He also cant get a properly sized pillow. he has a kids and a travel pillow and needs in between. Tempted to buy a foam one and cut it down. 

So how big is Kodie getting? Big as a house yet? Too bad he wont get big enough to pull you on a sled. That might come in handy. We were 90 two weeks ago and down in the 40s now. Fall is here to stay. Ours is short and will go to Winter. I'd rather see it 60s for awhile. Good thing I got 2 days of yardwork in.

Take good care of yourself and Kodie. Stay warm.

 

[kayc]

Both kids are in the middle of moving and will be busy with that for quite a while.  Christmas is the furthest thing on my mind right now.  I always put up a real tree but in more recent years had a hard time getting it to fit in the stand and get it hauled away so went to an artificial one, I like real ones best but at least this is easy to put up and take down.  Haven't decided if I want to do it before my surgery, I usually do it the day after Thanksgiving.  I'm not much in the spirit this year and also will have to watch Kodie not chewing up all the ornaments so not sure.  He is a chewer!  Wouldn't surprise me if he'd chew the tree!  He got one of my newer shoes the other day.  He's not getting much bigger anymore, 16.4 lbs the last few months.  Feels like 100 lbs when he's pulling though!

That's a poem from my childhood, I read it to my kids too.  I was always interested in Robert Louis Stevenson.  Somewhere I have a rubber stamp of him sitting by the window looking longingly out as in Bed in Summer, that one touched me the most.  I remember making a card with it for George.

Your dad is definitely dementia affected, so sad.  That sounds like a great idea about the pillow!

I'm lost with the Medicare stuff, finally just picked Healthnet Ruby but it leaves a lot for surgery/hospital.  Can't afford supplemental with house and car payment, medical expenses, and home repairs!

Kodie is my joy!  Also my aggravation...  Funny how that works!  But I wouldn't trade him for anything, I love him to pieces!

 

 

[Tachi]

maybe instead of a tree you could decorate the mantle and such. Keep it up out of his reach. Or a small one on the table. I cleaned out Mom's old room and grouped all the Christmas together. Dad doesnt care much for holidays anymore. But at the least i'll decorate my room. We had nice holidays growing up. I've never had a holiday life at all. No parties or anything like that. I dont want glitter and glam and being out of work no expenses. Always been more for the snowfall at night in a deep forest. And the truer message of Jesus and peace. Something we may not see again except in our hearts.

Kodie must be a strong one. All muscle and chewy teeth. great company I know. Good he has you to look out for him. 

One of the greatest needs is to streamline Medicare so its easily understood. maybe standardize it. There has been one good outcome of this health crisis and thats all the ability to use televisits for health care. Theyre even thinking that people can have a monitoring station that will take vtals etc and transfer that to the doctor.

Stevenson...and special memories. I wish i could have met your George. he sounds like a very special person. It may not make sense but I think you're blessed for the time you had together. You will be together again one day. 

one of the delights of having folks who love antiques is getting to browse old books. used to love browsing the old bookstores. Old libraries. those times esp rainy days when the real world fades.

I was thinking about the state of my dad last night. he never talks about how he is doing so I have no clue how it is other than what I see. from his face he is troubled at times and lost at times. Some days he seems somewhat normal. On his good days sadly he plays his old games. Or he comes up with issues that make no sense. he keeps telling me his sheets and pillows dont work...because they fall off the bed. i try telling him he tosses and turns at night. He will never listen to anyone but himself, he is the sole holder of truth and reality. The sheets were coming off because they were too slick and the top wasnt pulled up to the headboard. none of which has anything to do with it. So I took his sheets and blankets and tucked em under the matteress tight at the foot. So far so good. I managed to find him pillows sized between toddler and travel, so far so good. It wont last. the hard thing for me is that he must always have an issue, always manufacture something wrong. And it seldom makes sense. 

It could get worse. Well, now that i've passed my exam I need to start looking at an IT specialisation to move into. More study lol.

We are 40s and 60 tomorrow. Hope you folks arent too cold. You should read some Christmas stories to kodie. I dont know what it is but for all thats going on there is still joy. Hang in there my friend. get your operation and see how it helps. there is hope. Take good care 

 

[kayc]

It wouldn't be the same...Arlie used to gladly give up his spot by the window for the tree, he loved gazing at the lights, I so miss him!  I haven't decided, if my hand heals quickly I may do one, if not I'll have to do without.  It doesn't feel Christmassy without one.  Arlie and Kitty didn't bother the ornaments except I'd put cat and dog toys on the bottom branches, they knew they were for them, bells and such, Kodie has a way of destroying things he considers his.  To a puppy I can imagine it looks like a toy store, a free for all!

I do miss having family come and sharing the holidays with someone else.  Alas kids grow up, leave home and it's all part of the process.

I can't use televisits here, I have slow speed internet and my cellphone doesn't work here, can't afford a booster and higher speed internet yet, maybe someday, this has been a hard hitting year!  As next year will be, I have to get my house painted.  Miss the days I could do it myself but alas too hard on my hands and can't do ladders!  Getting old sucks.

17 hours ago, Tachi said:

I wish i could have met your George. he sounds like a very special person. It may not make sense but I think you're blessed for the time you had together. You will be together again one day. 

I couldn't agree more!  He was just the most caring person I've ever met, to EVERYONE!  And we had such amazing communication and bond.  

Have you tried flannel sheets for your dad?  They are wonderful this time of year and they do not slip and slide like the others.  I never wanted to go back to anything else.  Of course now I sleep in a recliner as I can breathe better and it supports my back better.

Congratulations on passing your exam!  It has to feel good to have that done!  I wish you well on your endeavors, you've worked hard for it and persevered!  Not an easy feat at this age with all you've taken on with your dad.

[Tachi]

On 10/30/2020 at 7:29 AM, kayc said:

yes, to a puppy its all fair game. Ive wondered just what a dog or esp cat is thinking when they gaze at a light or the moon. Does it please them or do they just wonder what it is. I guess we are no different with many things. Quiet times when we seek solace and meaning. 

   When I worked in Lubbock in retail...I volunteered alot for holidays. As I had no family there I thought I might as well take it and let other people be with their families. I've never really minded being alone. Always thought it would be an advantage for a creative type, space to dream and practice skills. The few times i;d be off I enjoyed them. make a nice meal, drink a few beers and watch holiday shows. I enjoyed the old traditions. I think theres so much missing in our society today because theyve been replaced with what will soon be the socialist dogma. 

When I was married I started disliking holidays. One meal at my folks, one meal with her parents and one with her grandparents. By the end of the day i could have cared less. their meals were sitting at the end of the couch watching football while no one talked to me. very grateful I escaped. Sadly, never could get past what the divorce did to me to remarry. had chances just too messed up. 

   I forget you're out of town there, farther than I thought. Do what you can and pray for the best. 

One thing ive continually noticed in retail. the nicest and best people id meet would be elderly. Its the old folks who dont look at others and look down at them . Its like younger people are all conditioned to be suspicious and judgmental. And we had a few guys who were like your George. They were just themselves and made you totally at ease. When you walked away they left you feeling good in life. Just such a positive kind energy. 

I'm taking a couple weeks off. I need to get some thinsg done and wanted to learn some artwork. But never quite seems to go that way. Will have to decide my next steps, which will be narrowing the path. I'm not as positive as I was. It seems Biden will win. He has promised to do things detrimental to the economy. I'll be on the fringe looking for work. A bad economy and lots of unemployed wont help.

   He just got a new blanket and a duvet cover. he found a walmart giftcard in his wallet that was old but still good and started shopping. later I checked and he was ready to buy so he made his purchase. On amazon. Somehow he thought he could use his walmart card on amazon.

But I started tucking in his sheet and blankets real tight and seems thats fixed it. He doesnt often understand why things are as they are. his sheets and blanket were coming off the bed because they werent tucked in and he moves around alot. 

 I was chuckling that you sleep in a recliner but then it does make sense. Better for the body than a flat bed. Wonder if they make a chair like a plane seat, contoured and tilting. 

 Think i'll go make some dinner. Chicken and rice. Started eating brown rice and quinoa. Cant taste a difference but supposed to be healthy. Anyway, you and Kodie take good care. 

 

 

 

[kayc]

I think they make chairs pretty much for everything.  I started sleeping in them because my husband died and the bed was a empty reminder of his absence, but over the years I've come to realize I breathe better with my allergies and asthma.  Supports my back too.

The gal I'm training to take over my Treasury job volunteered to come stay with me for a couple of days after my surgery to walk Kodie, cook etc.  A neighbor came and put my new generator together, I need to buy a cable for it and some propane and gas tanks but right now all my energy is going into preparing to be out of commission for a while.  I had to work at the church all day yesterday and some more today.  I had to pull my firewood out of my rack so I could separate the huge pieces from the smaller ones as no way can I lift it one handed after surgery!  Most of the wood in there was huge.  About five wheelbarrows full, only got about two done.  My neighbor said he'd pull them out as I get to them, just to call him when I'm ready.  And someone else volunteered to bring my wood up on deck once a week and fill up the rack.  I got the surgery place paid for.  So some last minute things to do and only a couple of days to do them.

I can't have rice but I eat cauliflower rice.

Kodie has been an angel today, he didn't do any digging in the pen yesterday or in the yard today.

I miss the times when my kids were growing up, family here, listening to football in the background while us ladies were doing dishes or putting the finishing touch on dinner.  Good times, now it's all too quiet.  George wasn't a sports fan, he liked classic car shows.  I'd always wanted to buy him one to work on in his retirement, he never got to retire though.

I hope tucking in the sheets helps, I wonder if some velcro would help?

[Tachi]

   We used to have a neighbor by the old house who worked for bell helicopter, many years ago. he restored classic cars. Once a week he drove his model A, 57 vette and 69 Mustang and wiped em down and parked em in his garage again. Always a pleasure to see that. I do prefer the older car styles, more character and sexier.

   After your surgery and you cab type let us know how you're doing. Will say a pryer for good outcome. really neat how people are helping you. Says theres some good people left in this world. Funny how the good ones I meet arent the well to do folks from a city but regular folks. guess they are closer to the truth. Hopefully the weather will be decent for you too. 

   I remember as a kid and we lived outside Chicago we'd drive to see dads family in Ohio. Everyone would come over to the Grandparents' and have big family get togethers. I agree, those were the best times. I remember much of it, the way the light was when the sunset, the fireflies, Sitting on the porch late talking. It was all so warm and cozy, def a different feel. 

   ya know what...George may have not had a retirement but he had you my friend. And somehow I think thats all he ever needed or wanted. Will remember you in my prayers. Take good care of yourself and Kodie of course

   

[kayc]

I'm in a lot of pain and can't even think straight, my brain is literally not working right.  Kodie is being good, I'm glad I have him.  I had someone here for a short time but she's gone home.  I think I'll sleep good tonight.  I hope.

[Tachi]

On 11/10/2020 at 8:05 PM, kayc said:

I'm in a lot of pain and can't even think straight, my brain is literally not working right.  Kodie is being good, I'm glad I have him.  I had someone here for a short time but she's gone home.  I think I'll sleep good tonight.  I hope.

Im so sorry youre in such pain. please dont reply if typing hurts you. Prayers coming that they will be able to alleviate your pain and discomfort. hang in there.

I will tell you one story. My dad worked for american airlines for over 50 years. first as a pilot and then as their first flight instructor at the new then academy here in Texas. hes been in aviation since he was a young man working as a lineboy at a rural airfield in Ohio. he used to be part of a small club of flyers who met once a week to fly model planes and then have lunch and shoot the bull. But they havent been able to do that this year. So a couple days ago I sent an email to AA telling them about Dad and asking if they could send him a card this Christmas. next day I got a call from a rep and she said they'd be happy to. I've had three calls from AA and they are excited to do something for Dad. they have started sending it up thru the organisation and everyone really loves the idea. This last lady I talked to has a son with AA who works in Operations and he has been contacting alot of people and he's sending it over to the Pilots Union as well. She said theyre all talking about sending cards and some keepsakes as well and dont be surprised if he gets a ton of mail. 

I hate seeing my dad sitting all day grumpy and depressed. This gesture really touches my heart and I think it will make his Christmas. Now I need to get ahold of a couple of his buddies so he can tell them about it as its happening. i keep suggesting dad call them and he says he will but doesnt. No idea if he just forgets or what. I'm not telling him about it so will be a total surprise and if im lucky he will just think that they remembered him.

Please take good care of yourself and Kodie. Hoping you get some relief soon.

 

[kayc]

Wow!  My son wanted to be a pilot, but he didn't have perfect eyes so when he went into the Air Force they wouldn't let him fly.    He was disappointed.  His eyes weren't bad, like 20/40 or something as a teen.  

That is so neat what they're going to do for your dad!  It will be a huge blessing to him and cheer up his days!  I can't wait to hear his reaction when the cards start coming!!!  What a great idea!  You're a good son, that is so sweet!

My hand is improving daily, I'm over the worst of it but still can't lift heavy things or overdo it and opening jars/cans is still hard, typing is getting better although my fingers still stutter sometimes, have to check everything I type.  It could take months for the nerves to repair, IF they ever fully repair.

Have major problems with my garage/storage building, have someone coming out to look at it today, hoping I can afford whatever needs done.  This is the year for everything to hit it seems!  Kodie is being such an angel through everything, I'm amazed, esp. for his age.  Guess I can forgive a little digging. 

[Tachi]

On 11/20/2020 at 9:26 AM, kayc said:

Wow!  My son wanted to be a pilot, but he didn't have perfect eyes so when he went into the Air Force they wouldn't let him fly.    He was disappointed.  His eyes weren't bad, like 20/40 or something as a teen.  

That is so neat what they're going to do for your dad!  It will be a huge blessing to him and cheer up his days!  I can't wait to hear his reaction when the cards start coming!!!  What a great idea!  You're a good son, that is so sweet!

My hand is improving daily, I'm over the worst of it but still can't lift heavy things or overdo it and opening jars/cans is still hard, typing is getting better although my fingers still stutter sometimes, have to check everything I type.  It could take months for the nerves to repair, IF they ever fully repair.

Have major problems with my garage/storage building, have someone coming out to look at it today, hoping I can afford whatever needs done.  This is the year for everything to hit it seems!  Kodie is being such an angel through everything, I'm amazed, esp. for his age.  Guess I can forgive a little digging. 

     Thankful your hand is better. Just take it easy. Kodie probably senses your discomfort and is being an angel. You may have to do things a little different but whatever works. 

     Why does it seem that problems come in bunches? 

     This old man here has decided how to cook again. Our spices are left over from Mom's cooking which makes them a few years old. I ordered a basic set and will start looking up recipes. My cooking has always just been what I like. The goal is something tender and yummy but no long prep time. yet I want to make new things and learn to use more spices properly. The Grand Experiment.

     My dad has gotten three cards already. One I noted was from a guy in our town. Another was from Arizona. dad is pleased but he doesnt seem to wonder why these strangers are sending him cards. I told him that AA has remembered him this year. I think this may be very interesting. 

     I did my shopping yesterday. We are having deli sliced turkey and roast beef and umpkin pie. I'll make all the other stuff. Just not worth it making a big dinner for us two.

     I also wanted to say that I appreciate your friendship. You have made this year a bit brighter so thank you. I'm hoping you folks will have a Happy Thanksgiving. 

[kayc]

It doesn't surprise me that your dad doesn't wonder why the cards all of a sudden, I think when they begin to progress in their dementia, they are less likely to question/analyze and just accept things as they come, at least my mom seemed to.  I was amazed that when she went from the home her and daddy had built 59 years before, she went to a dementia care facility and slept a lot at first, then just seemed like she'd always been there, unquestioning.  I'd been so afraid of her being upset with the move!  Yet she didn't seem to realize it.

Good luck with the cooking venture!  I enjoy cooking but haven't been able to since my surgery as I can't immerse my hands in dishwater, makes it hard when you can't clean up the mess!  So I do simple stuff.  Would like to make a homemade soup again.

 

[Tachi]

On 11/25/2020 at 9:10 AM, kayc said:

It doesn't surprise me that your dad doesn't wonder why the cards all of a sudden, I think when they begin to progress in their dementia, they are less likely to question/analyze and just accept things as they come, at least my mom seemed to.  I was amazed that when she went from the home her and daddy had built 59 years before, she went to a dementia care facility and slept a lot at first, then just seemed like she'd always been there, unquestioning.  I'd been so afraid of her being upset with the move!  Yet she didn't seem to realize it.

Good luck with the cooking venture!  I enjoy cooking but haven't been able to since my surgery as I can't immerse my hands in dishwater, makes it hard when you can't clean up the mess!  So I do simple stuff.  Would like to make a homemade soup again.

 

Lol love minions. Thats cute. hope you had a good turkey day. really good your Mom settled in that way. I've read about so many problems. I know when my Mom had any changes from her routine she got very upset. I tried Curry Chicken by recipe the other night and it wasn't good. My dad wanted Buckwheat Pancakes for breakfast so i ordered a mix on Amazon. he said they weren't real Buckwheat cakes. Nothing is ever 'real' because it cant live up to his memory of what it was like.

I did buy some spices so will keep trying new dishes. dads the guinea pig i guess. Tonight I made chicken and rice with cream of chicken soup. i liked it but dad didnt. Last week I made tacos, same way our family has always made them. dad didnt like that the shells were crunchy. guess his tastes are changing or he's playing his narcissist games again. Either way he won't get tacos again. At times I think he brings a problem with no solution trying to cause anxiety. It doesn't. His complaints may be felt by him but theyre unrealistic. Like the constant complaints about the sheets on his bed. he cant accept he just tosses and turns and kicks at night. I should write a book.

He's gotten 5 cards already so fun to check the mail.

So how is the hand doing? guess it will take a good deal of time. Well, hang in there. It'll come along. How big is kodie getting? Have you gotten him a doggie sweater yet? I dont think we ever did but ive seen people get those. No idea if theyre good.

Take good care of yourself and you folks stay warm. 30s and 40s here at night.

[kayc]

Don't feel you have to please him all the time or cater to all of his whims.  You can't.  What he likes or doesn't can change from time to time and the demands can be unreasonable or unsustainable.  Esp. with dementia!  They eat less and less as the disease progresses.  My mom weighed between 60 and 70 lbs. at the point of her death.  100 was a better weight for her.  I tried getting her to eat (How about if I take a bite and then YOU take a bite!) but that only works for so long.

You are sweet to get this card thing going!  I'm sure he enjoys them.

6 hours ago, Tachi said:

Nothing is ever 'real' because it cant live up to his memory of what it was like.

This says it all.

My hand is still swollen and sore, last night it hurt one of the worst it has.  Still on Ibuprofen & Tylenol PM and now soaking in Epsom salts.  That seems to be better than icing it...too bad I had to learn that from a friend (Occupational Therapist) rather than the doctors.  She said ice doesn't work for everyone, esp. with arthritis involvement.  That is a for sure!  Doctors have not been helpful whatsoever.  And this place is supposed to be "the best."  Ha!  So much for "no recovery time!"

Not sure what, if any, Kodie has gained, his vet is in Pleasant Hill and no one allowed in so weighing him his out and too iffy on home scales.  Puppies don't hold still very long!  He's supposed to get vaccinated in January, will have them weigh him then.  He's doing great though, such a sweetie!  Here's a picture I took this week...he always looks serious for the camera, yet he smiles all the time and is in constant motion when not resting!

No he doesn't need a sweater, he has LOTS of fur and undercoat!  And water seems to shed off of him once he shakes the majority off.  Hard to explain, but he never stays soaking wet, Arlie had to have a coat for the rain as he was 1/2 Golden Retriever and only 1/2 Husky.
 

[Tachi]

Kodie is beautiful. Who couldn't love that face. He looks so innocent. Sounds like he's perfect for the weather. Maybe a nice Santa hat :). Praying the hand gets better, hang in there and rest. Not easy to do this time of year. Just doesnt seem like Christmas. I need to bring out what decor is left and decorate. We used to have a TON but so little left. Guess Dad trhew it out or maybe it's hidden in the attic. I'm tempted to get a small real tree. That small fake one is just aweful. 

Way I see it I navigate a thin line with my Dad. Can't get pulled in by his dementia and narcissism but I want to see that he is taken care of. There are obvious issues that are only in his mind so I play those off. But the real ones I want to fix. It's amazing how much bs I see. It's like almost every day something. yesterday he was mad at his dermatologist and talking bad. last time he went in she took a couple cancers off his hand and thats it. But he never told her what he wanted done. And his story keeps changing along with what he wants done. I 'think' he just wants anything melanoma removed. But I have no idea what she looked at last time. Did she not look. Did she look and took off the only ones she found? Pfft. He will know better than her and she can take off all the melanoma but he will still badmouth her. Lol

Yes, he has gone down now to half a sandwich. I made tacos the same way and the same ingredients as for years. he doesnt like that taco shells crunch. No more tacos for him. 

I know you understand all this. It's hard knowing things only go downhill. And feeling like there's no real peace. 

he has gotten 5 cards now. I'm hoping that picks up now we're into December. Dad wants to send cards this year and insists on signing each. I made the list and filled out the envelopes knowing full well he won't sign them. Sure enough they've been sitting on his cart for a week untouched. I can remind him and his feelings will bruise and he will say he'll do it. never get done.

But I am very glad I left my last job two years back. My best friend is still there, for the moment. they have been restructuring constantly. And stabbing alot of longterm people in the back. I think even if I hadnt quit when I did i would have when Mom passed. All in all I am glad she's not here to see whats going on. She's in a much better place.

I wanted to ask how much you decorate for Christmas? Do you just get a small tree and do some lights and garland? maybe one of your helpers could come decorate. 

Take good care of yourself and kodie. 

 

[kayc]

I have a tree up and a few decorations, it's the least of my concerns.  I need the back of my garage and storage building replaced (wood built on dirt, it's rotten) and jacked up and so far am still waiting for the bid.  Don't know how I'll pay for it or how many thousands it'll cost.  The guy wants the inside back cleaned out, that's where all the storage is!  Cannot do with my hands, no helpers.  Snows about to start.  Had one light snow already, more coming this week.  Where am I to put all this stuff, in the snow?  How do I do it when my hands are hurting so bad and I'm barely surviving?  No answers.

Maybe sign a few cards from your dad & you?  Esp. as you already have them addressed.  He's not making conscious decisions by this point, it's beyond him to, the disease has a hold of him.

[Tachi]

   Wish I could do something to help, does it absolutely have to be done now? maybe some of the other folks who've helped before. If you or someone you know has a waterproof tarp, they could put it up on pallets or wood and cover it. Cost, hopefully whoever does it will offer a payment plan. If they are short of work maybe they will cut you a break. 

We are 41 degrees and overcast and drizzly today. people think i'm nuts because I love this weather. 

We got the cards sent out. he keeps getting a few cards from the folks at American Air, I think it's up to a dozen or so. very nice people. I got a box of cards and will try and answer all I can. We havent a tree but I decorated the mantle and fireplace and a few little spaces. The mantle and fireplace I think looks nice and it has some lights. he didnt really notice so I showed him and he didnt really care. But its there so maybe he will enjoy it. 

You're right, I dont think he has made conscious decisions for some time. Or at least he has trouble doing so. But we did finally get his taxes filed and just waiting on the refund. He gets mixed up. he said he wanted to give me part of his tax return because i've done so much on his affairs and taxes. then he remembered it as I wanted something for Christmas worth that amount and did I get it yet. maybe next time he will forget the offer.

My next thing is to learn to make him flavored pancakes. he didnt like the Buckwheat pancake mix, it wasnt really buckwheat to him. So i thought maybe add a flavor or chocolate chips or something.

When can you get your hand worked on? Does the warm epsom salt soaks still help any?

Too bad you cant teach Kodie to pull a small sleigh out to the woodpile and put a couple logs in and bring it back. 

Take good care of yourself my friend. Will be praying for your situation, hang in there.

[kayc]

No it's cash only and he has not yet provided me with a bid, I'm hoping he will this week so I can plan accordingly.  The epsom salts seem to help some but it's just going to take much time, apparently.

I use my wheelbarrow for the firewood and grocery hauling.  It's just that everything I do adds to healing time!  No choice, I have to keep going.

I just got a recipe I want to try for Keto Cinnamon Roll Pancakes, George is to try them today (iPraiseHim) & let me know how they turn out, I want to try them this week.  If I like them, I'll let you know the recipe!

Thank you for your prayers, I'll take all I can get right now! 

Good luck with your dad!

[kayc]

George said they're wonderful so I aim to try them this week, here goes:

Keto Cinnamon Roll Pancakes

Ingredients

For the Pancake Batter

• 1/2 cup plus 1 Tbsp almond flour (60g)
• 1/2 cup full fat cream cheese (125g)
• 4 eggs
• 1/2 tsp baking powder

For the Cinnamon Swirl

• 1/4 cup / 60g butter melted
• 1 tsp cinnamon
• 1 Tbsp powdered sweetener or more
• 3 Tbsp pancake batter

For the Cream Cheese Frosting

• 1/4 cup / 60g cream cheese
• 1 Tbsp powdered sweetener
• 1 Tbsp almond milk to loosen

Instructions

1.   Mix all ingredients for the pancake batter in a blender.

2.   Melt a knob of butter in a non-stick pan over medium heat. Pour in some of the pancake batter and add the cinnamon swirl. Place a lid over the pan. Turn the pancake over once the top starts to firm up (about 2 minutes). Fry the side with the swirl only briefly (about 30 seconds). Proceed until all batter has been used up.

3.   To make the cream cheese frosting, mix together the cream cheese, sweetener and loosen with 1 Tbsp of almond milk. Fill into a piping bag and decorate the pancake stack.

Notes

The pancakes should be smallish, ca 10-12 cm in diameter. About the right size to fit them in the toaster the next day should you be so lucky to have any leftovers.

The mix makes 8 pancakes. The nutrition is calculated per 2 pancakes = 1 portion. 2.7 net carbs

 

[Tachi]

On 12/13/2020 at 2:50 PM, kayc said:

No it's cash only and he has not yet provided me with a bid, I'm hoping he will this week so I can plan accordingly.  The epsom salts seem to help some but it's just going to take much time, apparently.

I use my wheelbarrow for the firewood and grocery hauling.  It's just that everything I do adds to healing time!  No choice, I have to keep going.

I just got a recipe I want to try for Keto Cinnamon Roll Pancakes, George is to try them today (iPraiseHim) & let me know how they turn out, I want to try them this week.  If I like them, I'll let you know the recipe!

Thank you for your prayers, I'll take all I can get right now! 

Good luck with your dad!

Teach Kodie to fetch firewood and place it in the wagon, that would be a neat trick. We have to just do the best we can. Have you any snow yet? We are 70 today. feels good but seems odd. Hope you have a good Christmas. Do your kids get to come visit? maybe you can do like us. We're having Christmas dessert on skype with the brother. Lol, kinda ruins my appetite lol.

Dad is back to fighting his bedcovers. he can't understand that he just tosses and turns at night. Tonight i'm tucking them in the side of the bed he doesnt get out from. Now I find out he can't read because he can't hold the book still from tremors. I tried and tried to help but he doesnt listen so I quit trying. I think he just likes having troubles. 

Tried the pancakes, thank you, those are very yummy, dad even liked them. he may get spoiled. I often brown chicken then add broth and simmer for a few hours. I discovered that if I burn it just a bit it has more flavor. Also got some new spices and enjoying those. Tho I don't have the time or energy to learn properly. 

Had you ever considered making a cookbook? Seeing Mom's I wondered how many families had a strong and old cooking tradition. And how many folks could do a nice cookbook. Also wondered how any folks knew family history. Dad can talk some about his grandparents and Mom knew about her family before the civil war. Have you ever considered making a family history book?

Take good care of yourself and kodie. Will be praying for some relief from pain. Thank you for all the kind words this year. It's been a rough one. friends help us make it through. 

Merry Christmas and God Bless

[kayc]

I'm so glad you both enjoyed the pancakes!  Too much work for most of the time, but good for a treat!  I used to have all my recipes on index cards but now have them in folders on my PC so it'll be easy for my kids to have them someday if they want.  I got a lot of recipes from my MIL, she was a great cook!  I can't eat most of them now with my dietary restrictions.  But it's paying off, my fasting blood sugar was 97 this morning!  No medicine for it.

I use a wheelbarrow to get my wood up on my patio, when I make the turn on the ramp the weight falls to my right hand/wrist, that's hard, but otherwise not a problem to get it up here.  Can't have Kodie loose in the yard, he'd run off and not listen (the Husky in him!), I'm very protective of him.  His getting loose could prove fatal.  

Your dad needs a book holder, they make Plexiglas ones, maybe sell at bookstores?  Just an idea.  

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers!  Still undecided about what to do on Christmas, not wanting to travel so far on such short daylight hours.  Two days to decide!

My little sister is our family historian, my SIL is the kids' dad's.  But my grandpa compiled genealogy books on our family line, I have one side but not the other, my mom threw ours away.   My mom had no sense of propriety.  She was nuts and hard to deal with.  He worked for ten years on it!  Tried to get a copy when I found out about it (he'd already died) but never got one.  It has info in it like our family coming as pioneers to the west coast, things that happened along the way.  Like one of them being a shopkeeper in Nebraska and then it burned down so he moved here.  My gr-grandfather founded Veneta, named it after his youngest daughter.  The main road through town is Hunter Rd, his last name.  Fern Ridge School, and Fern Ridge lake were named after my grandma.  There are roads in Santa Clara named after my mom and her sisters.  (Yvonne, Susan, Miriam).  I find that kind of stuff interesting.  He had 100 acres in the Santa Clara area (suburb of Eugene), would be worth a fortune today but he passed it on to his kids and it got lost in the depression.  Ben Franklin was my gr-gr-gr-gr-uncle (through James), he once funded a war for the US and was never reimbursed.  I find tidbits like that very interesting.  He was quite an interesting man!  My son (and myself back in the day) did school reports on him!  We're also descended from Roger Conant (founder Salem Massachusetts).

Well if I don't talk to you sooner, you have a MERRY CHRISTMAS!  I hope your dad enjoys the day as well.  

PS:  Make sure your dessert you're eating in front of your brother is mouthwatering! 

 

[Tachi]

Sounds like your nutrition works well. Hard for me to do so since I also cook for dad. Isn't it nice how we start to eat better and we get to like the flavor etc. Thats the danger of the outdoors I see. After all he is an animal and has the urges of his kind. 

dad is at that point where nothing works and nothing is good enough. he cant taste or smell and can barely hear sometimes. Nothing is good or right or real. I had ordered him a bookholder before. But he refused to set it on a desk or table to read. he had to read in his chair. With the big soft cushion. that when he set his bookholder on the chair cushion it was uneven. i suggested he try a hospital sidetable. Slide the feet under his chair and the tilting holder is rt in his lap. But he kept making excuses. It wont fit under the chair, the book would sit too high etc etc. My brother sent an email suggesting the same holder and I told him about before. he just ignored me. I suggested he had enough room on his computer desk and he said he would measure it and see. he wont. My Brother gave him 3 months of Audible, which he has tried twice before and it works. but he doesnt use it. I remind him because he forgets badly. but he doesnt use it. he just sits in front of his TV and complains theres nothing on or the remote is broked or the TV is. Nothing is broken except for him.

You have a very interesting family history. it surprises me mre people dont find out and save it. Pass it down. Moms family came down the Mississippi to Arkansas before the Civil War. She only told e the good stuff in her last couple years. I should write it down before its lost. 

hope you had a good Christmas. Snow? We were 60s I think. Had a cold week and a couple days rain and back to sun and 60s. My brother *sigh*. Was cool and sent me some books  and then  ore. he thinks Ishould do Russian icons since im artistic. I constantly tell him I dont have time for all I want t do. And yet he keeps trying to push me into other areas. I just say thanks, its on the back burner. I know what I need to do and nothing and no one will derail that. i get my stubborn from Mom.

Brother sent dad an expensive humidifier to help dad sleep. he also wanted us to turn down the temp to 68...no. i understand cooler temps help us sleep better. But considering dad has a sweatshirt and tshirt and a couple blankets and a duvet...thats too cold. you have to be comfortable and not catch a chill. Brother just gets ideas he thinks will solve things and ignores all sides. dad has sleep issues from Alzh/Parkinsons and his stroke. Temp and humidity may help a little but not going to make a big impact. Crazy family. 

Hope things get better. hang in there. here is a pic of the cards. i dont think dad really cared much. At the end he didnt even open them. people wrote really nice notes and letters and if he wanted he could have made some friends. he didnt want me to send thank you notes. may do it anyway. I thought it might make his Christmas bright. Honestly i think hes beyond that. he doesnt see his mental issues. So far they are something we can handle, minor things. 

Anyway, enough of that or you'll feel like my bartender. take good care of yourself. making roast carrots and taters tomorrow. robably take a few days in the crockpot.

[Tachi]